# Useless magic items **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 8, 2003, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-magic-items/167225 "2003-04-08T02:57:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-magic-items/167225/121 "2003-04-15T07:52:53Z")
The Ring Of Self-Invisibility Makes you invisible to yourself and only yourself. (possibly useful to those with their heads up their asses) ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-magic-items/167225/122 "2003-04-15T13:18:56Z")
**tracer** : No, you have to save vs. petrification (being stoned). ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-magic-items/167225/123 "2003-04-15T17:53:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Butter elementals, perhaps? From the Elemental Plane of Butter, which is just a stone’s throw down the wormhole from the Elemental Plane of Flapjacks and Syrup. Is that anywhere near the [Elemental Planes](http://www.gamespy.com/comics/nodwick/gamespyarchive/gspynod037.html) of Fermented Beverages, Back Support Devices, or Hot Fudge and Marshmallows? ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-magic-items/167225/124 "2003-04-15T18:39:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Balance \* > \*\*FWIW, the house rules for the campaign I’m currently playing in include a “Knowledge: Illicit Drugs” skill and a “Master of the Kama Sutra” Feat. Our elven rogue is seriously hooked on “krank”, a stimulant the dwarves cooked up specifically to turn the elves into addicts. On the plus side, he gets a major bonus to his speed after a hit. \*\* I suspect your DM played Fallout 2, as there is a Kama Sutra Master perk (basically the same as a feat) and a drug called Jet which is very similar to krank. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-magic-items/167225/125 "2003-04-15T19:05:56Z")
You’re probably right about the KSM feat, but the guy playing the elf is the one that came up with krank (in the middle of play) and the DM just rolled with it. I’m pretty sure Elf-Guy isn’t a Fallout fan. The krank problem is a pretty natural extension of the social structure of our campaign. ---
**Author:** ![Dryga\_Yes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@Dryga\_Yes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dryga_Yes)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-magic-items/167225/126 "2003-04-15T20:10:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*_scarab of combination fire resistance_: When exposed to fire, electricity, poison gas, acid, and vacuum all at the same time, this broach will make you immune to the fire part. > \*\* There have been several items that I’ve thought were useful, but this one is probably the most exploitable. You really should’ve mentioned _how much_ electricity, poison gas, acid and vacuum you need to be exposed to in order for the effect to be triggered. Otherwise you’re going to have adventurers carrying around this scarab and, say, a homemade lemon battery, some highly diluted acid and a test tube of methane. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-magic-items/167225/127 "2003-04-15T23:18:19Z")
Yeah, but where are they gonna get the Vacuum? Hoover and Electrolux weren’t around in the middle ages! ---
**Author:** ![Catalyst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Catalyst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catalyst)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-magic-items/167225/128 "2003-04-16T06:11:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*Yeah, but where are they gonna get the Vacuum? Hoover and Electrolux weren’t around in the middle ages! \*\* Teleport the air out of a sealed tube? ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-magic-items/167225/129 "2003-04-16T06:24:32Z")
But, heck, if you’re going to waste a 5th-level _teleport_ spell, you can afford to cast _protection from fire_. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-magic-items/167225/130 "2003-04-16T06:44:02Z")
Well, you could try to substitute a general sort of suction. Just turn to the seven foot tall swordswoman in the chainmail bikini standing next to you, idly counting dragon claws on her necklace, and blurt out “I need you to suck on me right now!” I can guarantee that you will not be having a problem with the fire. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-magic-items/167225.md?page=6)