# useless signs
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 12, 2002, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664 "2002-07-12T17:58:33Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@symplicity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/symplicity)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2002, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/1 "2002-07-12T17:58:33Z")
Why is there a sign in my office’s restroom stall that says:
Please flush
after use
I hate this sign every time I read it and think maybe I won’t flush just to show that sign it doesn’t control _me_!
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### Author:  [@Leifsmama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leifsmama)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2002, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/2 "2002-07-12T18:38:58Z")
The very funny thing about this sign, is that the people that have trouble remembering to flush (like certain members of the opposite sex that I know) would never even see the sign.
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### Author:  [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)
#### Post date: [July 12, 2002, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/3 "2002-07-12T21:54:11Z")
Where I used to work, a school office building in Downey, CA, there were signs next to fire extinguishers reading: FIRE EXTINGUISHER HERE
Duhhhhhhhhhhhhh… :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2002, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/4 "2002-07-13T05:54:51Z")
I saw a sign that read: We are not responsable for lost or stolen property. It was sitting in my friend’s locker. Oh, the sweet irony.
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### Author:  [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2002, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/5 "2002-07-13T11:22:08Z")
Bridge Freezes Before Road Surface
In Pennsylvania, where _they know that already, you dumb fucks!_
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### Author:  [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2002, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/6 "2002-07-13T15:49:37Z")
I pass through three municipalities on my daily commute: the one I live in, the one I have listed as my Location, and the one I work in. Going one direction, there is a sign for the second one which says:
> [@](#):
>
> Welcome to Charlotte
> Citywide speed limit: 35 M.P.H.
> Unless otherwise posted
About 50 feet later there is a speed limit sign. Care to guess what the speed limit is?
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### Author:  [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2002, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/7 "2002-07-13T16:02:44Z")
Based on my vast experience with governmental thinking, coupled with my finely tuned sense of the absurd, I would say it’s probably:
35 mph
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2002, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/8 "2002-07-13T16:08:31Z")
I was going to post a new thread based on an event this morning. I was going to call it, “Signs that I’m getting older.” But it seems to fit here just as well.
I was getting my hair cut, and the cute young girl asked, just as she was fininshing, “Would you like me to trim back your eyebrows?” This was a first for me.
Good thing she was at the wrong angle to see into my nose. :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2002, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/9 "2002-07-13T18:22:16Z")
[ul] **No Expectoration** [/ul]
In a hotel lobby. I doubt that anyone who might be inclined to spit indoors is able to read _at all_, much less a five-syllable latinate word. What the hell were they thinking?
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2002, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/10 "2002-07-13T18:34:58Z")
**yojimboguy** , that’s the weirdest hijack I’ve ever seen, but I can’t resist responding to it, because a couple of weeks ago, I got the same question, for the first time. The woman who cut my hair was a nice Iranian lady, and that wasn’t the strangest thing she said to me, (in fact it didn’t strike me as all that odd, probably _because_ I’ve never trimmed my eyebrows.) What she said was “You’re such a handsome boy. A _nice_ boy. A _clean_ boy. So I don’t want to hurt your head.” That sort of thing makes me a bit nervous. I was almost expecting “Razor, razor, cut, cut, blood, spurt, artery, _murdering bastard!_ Oh thank God, thank God. It’s just scissors.”
We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.
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### Author:  [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2002, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/11 "2002-07-13T18:44:58Z")
Also in Pennsylvania, there are signs that say “Pass with Care.”
Cause you know, were those signs not there, we’d be passing like maniacs all the time. Damn good thing we have the signs to set us right. 🙂
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2002, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/12 "2002-07-13T20:05:21Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Squish \*
> \*\*Bridge Freezes Before Road Surface
>
> In Pennsylvania, where _they know that already, you dumb fucks!_ \*\*
Perhaps the signs are for the benefit of people who _don’t_ already know it? Like, I dunno, maybe Floridians passing thru??
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### Author:  [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2002, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/13 "2002-07-13T20:19:20Z")
**yojimboguy** , it gets better. A few more years and they’ll be offering to trim your ears, as well.
I live in a residential neighborhood that is liberally laced with stop signs that say “No Turns 7 PM - 7 AM,” so some streets require you to drive all the way through the neighborhood to get to one of the major traffic arteries that bound us and come back in a street or so down to get where you’re going.
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### Author:  [@joshmaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joshmaker)
#### Post date: [July 13, 2002, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/14 "2002-07-13T22:33:25Z")
I opened a two-way radio to put in a pair of batteries. Inside was a small, lose, piece of paper that had only one sentence, which read “Please remove this sign before inserting batteries”.
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### Author:  [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)
#### Post date: [July 14, 2002, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/15 "2002-07-14T05:10:10Z")
In the park near here there used to be signs that said “DOG WASTE Transmits Diseases, Contaminates our Drinking Water. Leash-curb and cleab up after your dog. It’s required by law”
Needless to say **Battett, Hyphen** and I took all three of them we saw.
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### Author:  [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)
#### Post date: [July 14, 2002, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/16 "2002-07-14T05:11:23Z")
I forgot to mention the shitting dog caricature on the sign. That’s the best part.
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### Author:  [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)
#### Post date: [July 14, 2002, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/17 "2002-07-14T14:24:45Z")
There are some very tall hydro wire towers than run the length of several fields. You know the ones: they look kind of like metallic, skeletal Space Invaders. One day driving past, I looked up and noticed there was an orange sign, about 2’ x 3’ or standard poster size, and I could just make out that it says “Hellicopter Hazard Ahead” in three inch letters.
All I could think it that if you were in a helicopter and you were close enough to read that little sign, you’re already tangled in the wires.
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### Author:  [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2002, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/18 "2002-07-24T07:40:25Z")
ok i know this is not exactly what the thread is about…sorry, but anyway: at souplantation i saw a sign that said “please consume all food on premises” and i tried to but i got a big stomach ache after a couple hours…😛
also, at six flags magic mountain, go ride psyclone (its by deja vu i think…) and when u get to the front of the line, look down at the track…in the actual roller coaster track, (like where the cars go) it says in large friendly letters, NOT A STEP…genius!
-TJdude825
P.S. what does “putz” as in :wally mean?
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### Author:  [@meyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meyer)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2002, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/19 "2002-07-24T07:45:31Z")
There is a sign at a big bus exchange near here that says:
_No Loitering_
I was really confused as to what else I would be doing at a bus exchange.
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### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2002, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/20 "2002-07-24T07:56:52Z")
My favorite, seen at a Holiday Inn in Charlotte:
**DO NOT READ THIS SIGN**
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