# useless signs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 12, 2002, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664 "2002-07-12T17:58:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/21 "2002-07-24T08:00:17Z")
Today I got another sign. It was 25-30 feet long, 4 feet tall, made out of some sort of vinyl/plastic. It says **Join the Phar-Mor Family, Applications Inside**. They don’t really need it anymore, since they are going out of business. ---
**Author:** ![Loopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loopus/32/15343_2.png) [@Loopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopus)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/22 "2002-07-24T09:49:25Z")
On the tag on my pillow: “Carelessness causes fire.” Good advice… but what does it have to do with my pillow? Any sign in the Houston area that says “Watch for ice on bridge” in winter. You could watch for 30 years and never see any ice on the bridge. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/23 "2002-07-24T10:00:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*Perhaps the signs are for the benefit of people who _don’t_ already know it? Like, I dunno, maybe Floridians passing thru?? \*\* [re: Bridge Freezes Before Road Surface signs] And apparently there were enough people who didn’t get it, or who weren’t able to read the sign fast enough, that they’ve changed anyway. I’ve just come back from Pennsylvania and the signs now usually read: BRIDGE MAY BE ICY. On the umpteenth consecutive day of temperatures in the upper 90s, these signs are almost surreal… If you drive out in western Norway, you’ll find signs warning of dangerous curves just after you’ve gone around a half-dozen blind curves. You may laugh and think the sign is a bit late. You would be wrong. It’s a warning that the curves are about to get **worse** :eek: ---
**Author:** ![tritone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e7dd6/32.png) [@tritone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tritone)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/24 "2002-07-24T10:29:07Z")
I occasionally drive about 3 hours south of Perth, to Margaret River (in south-west Australia) where my parents have a holiday house. Every 50km or so, there are huge signs on the road which say: \*\*LOCAL POLICE ARE NOW TARGETING SPEEDING \*\* Periodically, it’s changed so that the word SPEEDING is replaced by SEATBELTS or DRINK DRIVING or FATIGUE. So, if local police are targeting speeding, does that mean that I won’t be pulled over for not wearing my seatbelt? I find it especially amusing to be told that local police are targeting fatigue - what’re they going to do, pull me over and test my blood sugar? ---
**Author:** ![Kamikazee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Kamikazee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamikazee)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/25 "2002-07-24T12:43:15Z")
Sign on the highway near my home… " Do not pass when opposing traffic is present." REALLY?!?!?!? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/26 "2002-07-24T13:03:54Z")
A friend of mine took a photo in the back hallway of a restaurant in Jamaica. “Please do not piss in bus tubs.” \ ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/27 "2002-07-24T13:30:59Z")
The Coney Island Lunch in Johnstown, PA used to have a sign behind the counter saying: \*\*Self Service Please Serve Yourself\*\* . . . I guess in case someone doesn’t quite grasp the concept… ---
**Author:** ![RAWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@RAWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RAWDuke)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/28 "2002-07-24T17:21:12Z")
Posted outside a racetrack: “No Illegal Contraband” When I asked the gate attendant if “Illegal Contraband” was a tad redundant, he replied, “Oh, that just means no fireworks, that sort of thing.” He didn’t have an answer when I asked him for an example of “Legal Contraband.” Later that season, the “Illegal Contraband” sign was gone, but posted all over the area were “No Trespassing Without Permission” signs. “Excuse me, sir, may I have permission to go on your land without your permission?” ---
**Author:** ![Paididiot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba8739/32.png) [@Paididiot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paididiot)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/29 "2002-07-24T17:46:27Z")
Anyone ever seen the Tsunami evac signs on the Washington coast? They all point one direction… Inland, uphill. Seemed obvious to me… So we had fun turning them around so they pointed towards the coast… Drown all you tourist! DROWN!. I’m inarticulate today. blah blah blah. Duncan. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/30 "2002-07-24T20:09:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \* > \*\*[ul] **No Expectoration** [/ul] > > In a hotel lobby. I doubt that anyone who might be inclined to spit indoors is able to read _at all_, much less a five-syllable latinate word. What the hell were they thinking? \*\* Oddly, there was a thread just a few days ago where a man confessed that he was passing through the lobby of a hotel (a shortcut he takes regularly) and just out of the blue decided to spit. The title was something like: Hotels really frown on spitting. ---
**Author:** ![Mooney252](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7c8e57/32.png) [@Mooney252](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooney252)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/31 "2002-07-24T20:35:17Z")
**The Braille signs at the drive-up ATM.** 2nd place: sign in an English restaurant, just above the urinals – _“Now, please wash your hands.”_ My wife liked the latter so much that she made a copy for our downstairs lavatory. ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2002, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/32 "2002-07-24T21:14:51Z")
Nothing like a **Bridge May Be Icy** sign in Tucson in July to brighten up your whole day. Entire discussions can and do revolve around just what circumstances could conspire to make the bridge icy… “Say there was a tanker truck loaded with liquid nitrogen, and a dry ice factory nearby…” Oh, and the Pennsylvania **Pass With Care** signs were always my favorite. When I lived outside of Lancaster, I had a lunatic friend in a convertible who used to time it so that he could speed madly down a particular hill, and pass some unsuspecting car at an insane rate of speed, just past the **Pass With Care** sign, yelling out _“I LOVE YOU!”_ at the top of his lungs. And blowing kisses. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/33 "2002-07-25T00:35:42Z")
“Illegal Activity Prohibited In This Area.” I only wish I were kidding. ---
**Author:** ![RAWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@RAWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RAWDuke)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/34 "2002-07-25T00:50:53Z")
Sign on the side of a building last summer: “Card Reader and Psychic, Coming Soon!!” Why couldn’t you tell us when? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/35 "2002-07-25T01:00:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Khadaji \* > \*\* > Oddly, there was a thread just a few days ago … … The title was something like: Hotels really frown on spitting. \*\* I read that with interest and horror, and valiantly resisted the impulse to flame the OP, partly because he recognized that what he did was wrong, and didn’t sound likely to do it again, and partly because it wasn’t posted in a flame-friendly forum. And he didn’t appear to be a (excuse me) drooling moron. ---
**Author:** ![sorrel554](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@sorrel554](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sorrel554)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/36 "2002-07-25T01:28:04Z")
[slight hijack] I’ve been working on a set of documents at work, annual stockholder reports and things like that, and I’m seeing a lot of \*\* “This page intentionally left blank.” \*\* I can understand that someone might think something was missing from a blank page, but why even include it at the end of the report if it’s blank? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/37 "2002-07-25T02:04:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mooney252 \* > The Braille signs at the drive-up ATM. This one just irritates me to no end. Alice is blind. She has her seeing friend Bob drive her to the nearest ATM. Happens to be a drive up ATM. Alice uses the ATM thanks to the Braille. (For obvious security reasons she doesn’t want to have Bob do it for her.) Isn’t this obvious to people??? Why does this issue keep coming up??? Just because it might take a car to get there doesn’t mean that you should assume that blind people never get there. ---
**Author:** ![Squish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/38 "2002-07-25T02:34:11Z")
[Pennsylvania hijack] OK, **FairyChatMom** , you may have a point…it just seems so obvious that water freezes faster than ground, that’s why the creek is covered with ice and the road isn’t. Up in Lycoming and Sullivan counties, the highway department explained away the lack of guardrails by saying, “People would just go through them anyway.” Ohhhh-kay. [/end Pennsylvania hijack] ---
**Author:** ![flup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d07c76/32.png) [@flup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flup)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/39 "2002-07-25T02:48:32Z")
I am big into the sign theft bidness. I steal non-fatal signs… stop signs are too important and deadly to steal. BUT… some kinds of stops are special. Liek the 4-way, which has special rules and is specially marked. However, there is also the rare and elusive “3-way” stop, which has a little sign that says “3-way” underneath. Like it matters. You have to stop anyway. SO I stole the little sign that says “3-way”. It now hangs over myt bed. I figured I had better use for a 3-way sign than the municipality I live in does anyway. The OP reminds me of an even dumber sign foudn in the Men’s room, namely the red urinal pads with “Say No to Drugs” printed on them. Can someone describe the mentality behind these? flup ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664/40 "2002-07-25T03:37:45Z")
**flup** , when I was a callow youth I filched many signs. It became a habit during the 1986 World Exposition here in Vancouver. It appealled to my nihilistic sense of humour to collect as many restroom signs as I could while I was there. I feel much better now, thank you, but I was sixteen. The only sign I haven’t been able to resist as an adult is a nice little **AREA OF REFUGE** sign that now adorns the door to my den/computer room. (I didn’t feel _too_ guillty about absconding with it, since it was triply-redundant, and each time I went past it, I thought, _…but they’ve got two more_… ) Another poorly conceived bit of combination-signage that has puzzled me for a long time was a parking sign that said:ul [sup]7AM - 6PM[/sup] except with permit[/ul] Huh? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/useless-signs/118664.md?page=3)