# Username vs. Real Name: Doper Etiquette? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 15, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500 "2003-05-15T18:38:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/1 "2003-05-15T18:38:01Z")
When you meet other Dopers IRL, do you: 1. Introduce yourself with your Doper username and go by that moniker for the rest of the event? 2. Introduce yourself with your Doper username and reveal your username? Which do you go by from then on? 3. Slink around silently, rebuffing all attempts at conversation? I don’t think there is an established etiquette for this situation. It’s too new. Miss Manners won’t have advice. Therefore, I have felt strange at past Doper gatherings because I don’t know what to call others… I want to use their Doper usernames, but it feels strange because I wonder whether they truly identify as that name IRL. So I think it’s up to us. Can we, as the community of the Straight Dope, come to a consensus on what to do so I don’t have to feel weird anymore? ---
**Author:** ![Contrary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/db5fbb/32.png) [@Contrary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrary)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/2 "2003-05-15T18:45:36Z")
This happens at conventions for online gamers too. And honestly I always answered to my gaming name, it was how I was known and was a lot easier. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/3 "2003-05-15T18:48:09Z")
Although I’ve never gone to any Doper events, I would imagine if I did, I’d introduce myself as Happy Lendervedder, but then reveal my secret identity (thusfar revealed to only a couple of priviliged Dopers.) If people chose to call me Happy, I’d have no problem with that. If they chose to use my real name, I’d have no problem with that either. I would say, though, if someone introduces themselves as both their username, and their real name, it’s probably safe to use the real name. Certain usernames beg to be used as RL nicknames, while other usernames would come off as very clumsy and wierd. Happy ---
**Author:** ![Jaelen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Jaelen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaelen)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/4 "2003-05-15T18:48:26Z")
I also answer to my online name. However, if provided, I will always address someone with their real name. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/5 "2003-05-15T18:50:10Z")
I have introduced myself as my board name, and then told them my real name. Whichever they choose is fine with me. I’ll answer to either. And in reality, I’m so horrible with names, that I’m probably always going to think of everyone as their board name rather than their real name, unless I get to know 'em real well. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/6 "2003-05-15T18:50:55Z")
I hate when people say their name is Jack, because I don’t know Jack. Annnnnyway, it doesn’t matter to me - same name, more or less. ---
**Author:** ![Frank\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Frank\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank_2)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/7 "2003-05-15T18:52:04Z")
I found the easy workaround for me was to register with my real name (okay, the **#2** part isn’t in my name but you get the idea) From what I’ve seen is that introductions are done with the screenname and the IRL name and from then on everyone usualy addresses each other by their IRL name. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/8 "2003-05-15T18:58:55Z")
I always ask for SN to make the association with what I might remember from what they’ve posted, and I often ask for then as for “regular” name. If I see the person more than once or twice, I usually end up using their first name more than their screen name, but not always - it just depends. As **Happy** said, some SNs fit the person very well, but some are unpronouncable, and some are just wrong - I don’t call **UncleBeer** by his SN for obvious reasons. 😉 I generally introduce myself with both names, though I didn’t at my first couple of fests, and I answer to both. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/9 "2003-05-15T19:02:09Z")
This point always comes up at our UK Dopefests. In true Doper fashion, we always discuss it and never achieve a decision! Basically, you more or less have to go by Board names at first, or else introductions are pointless. After that, anything goes. I know the IRL names of most of the UK dopers by now, but I kind of like using Board names most of the time. It’s like comic book ‘secret identities’, and I think it just adds to the fun. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter so long as you’re communicating. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/10 "2003-05-15T19:06:10Z")
That first sentence was completely incoherant. I always ask for someone’s SN to make the association with what I might remember from what the person has posted, and I often also ask for the person’s “regular” name as well, but not always. I think the rest of my post was up to my standard level of incoherancy. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/11 "2003-05-15T19:13:04Z")
I introduce myself by SN first, then real name. I’ll answer to whichever people want to call me, but I actually prefer my SN (my real name being very bland and common). I also answer readily to most of my LARP character names, even when out of character. The DFW Dopers are a mixed bag, but many of us use our screennames or variants when we meet. We also make reservations as “the Adams Family”, so take our approach with a grain of salt. At my first Dopefest, I believe everyone went by their screennames; the waitress found it fascinating, and thought it rather practical. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/12 "2003-05-15T19:16:12Z")
Well, when I met **Rue** and **ShibbOleth** and **thinksnow** and **Zappo** and **dwyr** they INSISTED we use our Doper names. They wouldn’t have it any other way! I think it was the ‘secret identity’ aspect. Of course in my case it doesn’t matter; Ellen is my actual name, though my last name’s not Cherry. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/13 "2003-05-15T19:38:56Z")
It’s especially tough when you mix Dopers with non-Dopers. My friends Michael and Terry asked me who else will be coming on that Green-Wood tour on Sunday, and I said, “Well, Oxy and Billdo and Ukulele Ike and Biggirl . . .” You get _looks_. ---
**Author:** ![guava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/71e660/32.png) [@guava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guava)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/14 "2003-05-15T19:44:58Z")
I"m glad I wasn’t there **Ellen**. How do you pronounce **dwyr**? I’d have a lot of trouble calling someone **scout1222**. I assume they shorten it, do they? ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/15 "2003-05-15T19:49:43Z")
Yeah, at my parties (Eve, you MUST come) I always introduce myself by my name, then mention the handle. I’ve actually never been particularly comfortable with handles (though I use them). I see too many people hiding behind them. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/16 "2003-05-15T19:56:52Z")
**Eve** , I know what you’re saying. And as common as Internet friendships are these days, I still feel strange saying, “I’m going to lunch with some people I know from the Internet.” And I learned right away not to say, “I’m meeting a friend from the Straight Dope Message Board for a drink.” They usually think we’re some kind of cannabis-appreciation board. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/17 "2003-05-15T19:58:04Z")
Oh, we did find out to our chagrin that you do _not_ abbreviate Ukulele Ike’s name and shout, “_Hey, Uke Ike!!_” across a crowded bar. (Try it, out loud . . .) ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/18 "2003-05-15T19:58:49Z")
I like the username only idea. Makes it simple. ---
**Author:** ![angelabaca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@angelabaca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angelabaca)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/19 "2003-05-15T20:02:12Z")
my real name and username are one and the same. No problems here! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500/20 "2003-05-15T20:03:47Z")
**Eve** , eeek! Not good. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/username-vs-real-name-doper-etiquette/175500.md?page=2)