# "Using Ensure in a way that was not intended" **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 27, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678 "2009-02-27T16:50:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![echowit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@echowit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/echowit)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/81 "2009-03-02T23:55:51Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I really thought this was going to be a 14-page grammar argument about “ensure” vs “insure”. I can assure you, it won’t be … ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/82 "2009-03-03T09:13:45Z")
> [@Bacon\_Salt](#): > > And _I_ thought this was going to be a 14-page list of ways Ensure was Not Intended to be Used. Nope, an actual discussion on the merits of college students drinking Ensure and oh yeah, a coupla lists. I must say I’m a little disappointed. This must be remedied. > > **Yet More Ways You Shouldn’t Use Ensure:** > > Embalming fluid substitute > > Chemical depilatory > > Window cleaner > > Sushi dipping sauce > > Pimple remover cream > > In a lab demonstration of non-Newtonia fluids > > Breast implant filler > > Bleach alternative > > To replace brushing or flossing. \ Some sillier ways in which Ensure was Not Intended to be Used: for watering those pot plants in the closet as a substitute for agar in petri dishes for taking milk baths for dunking suspected witches for Chinese Water Torture in an IV drip in your moat (the alligators wouldn’t like it) ---
**Author:** ![staballoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@staballoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/staballoy)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/83 "2009-03-03T13:54:27Z")
Ensure makes perfect sense to me: given their sleep, study, and social habits, college students do not have much free time for meal planning and preparation. Ensure can be consumed quickly and conveniently, after having been efficiently purchased along with several cases of beer. No mystery whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/84 "2009-03-03T14:34:56Z")
> [@brujaja](#): > > \ > > Some sillier ways in which Ensure was Not Intended to be Used: > > for watering those pot plants in the closet But it’s got what plants crave! ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/85 "2009-03-03T15:51:03Z")
I got to a point in grad school where I had problems (among other things) dealing with preparing food and eating; it was one other task that was something I had to deal with. My counselor suggested a nutritional drink of the time like Carnation Instant Breakfast. As others said, many professors allowed drinks but not food, plus you’re not caught with a mouthful of dry oats and stuff that you need to choke down before you can answer a question, and at least these provide a good amount of protein and vitamins for a relatively cheap cost, unlike many granola bars or “nutrition bars”. These days practically every ‘nutrition bar’ on the market is forbidden to me due to a particular rare food allergy, so I tend to automatically check out the nutritional beverages if I want a source of lean vegetarian-friendly protein while I’m busy on the job. ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/86 "2009-03-03T16:20:38Z")
And even more ways in which Ensure was Not Intended to be Used: as a sexual lubricant as printer ink for cheating on a pee test inside shock absorbers for giving out to Trick-Or-Treaters for spiking the punch bowl for filling your steam iron I’m having entirely too much fun with this. ---
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/87 "2009-03-03T16:40:00Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > I really thought someone was going to come in here and say that if you distill it down you get a really potent mood-modifier. Just drinking it, fo what ever reason, seems like using it as intended. Or maybe the anorexics are using it. I think someone needs to hunt down the girl in the OP and make her explain herself! I agree. Clearly she was using “in a way that is not intended” in a way that is not intended. ---
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/88 "2009-03-03T18:51:37Z")
> [@brujaja](#): > > And even more ways in which Ensure was Not Intended to be Used: > > \ > > for filling your steam iron Somebody please, please, fill an iron with Ensure and report back the results. And it has pretty much all been said already but most college students while not exactly lazy, are prone to procrastination and odd hours, and Ensure is a cheap “food” that you can just grab a can of and chug and feel somewhat full. Odwalla, Naked, Jamba Juice… would be much better and tastier IMO, but at $3 and up isn’t practical for most college students to use often. ---
**Author:** ![CC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@CC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CC)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/89 "2009-03-03T19:18:27Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > Ah, for the old days when people didn’t feel the need to constantly hydrate! Somehow I managed to get through four years of college without ever having a drink or a snack during a class. Now it seems people can’t go anywhere without some form of liquid. But I’m sure that’s fodder for an whole 'nother thread… Yep- this is where I get on. When I taught middle school, the trend was to allow students to bring their own personal water bottles to class. The fight just wasn’t worth it. Now, I’ve had college students bring salads to class. And don’t get me started on the nonsense of actually buying water in a bottle. I guess it’s sooooo much better than having to wait until you get into a building with a water fountain and actually drinking from one. Eeeeewww. Gross. This water’s warm!! ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/90 "2009-03-03T21:37:22Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > I don’t like tomato soup, so I always keep a can of tomato soup in the back of the cupboard. I’ll never eat it as long as I have other stuff on hand to eat, and if I **don’t** have other stuff on hand to eat, I won’t go hungry, because even tomato soup is better than nothing. I don’t get it. Why not keep a can of a kind of soup you actually like in the back of the cupboard? You’ll go through food at the same rate, but when you get to the end, you’ll have one last good meal instead of a crappy one. It takes up the same space on the shelf, it costs the same, and it’ll keep just as long. Maybe seeing that there’s only tomato soup left is a trigger to get you to go shopping. In that case, I recommend saving the label from a can of tomato soup and taping it to a can of the soup of your choice. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/91 "2009-03-03T21:38:42Z")
Ensure Is Not Intended For Use As: Wood stain Photographic developing solution A douche Marinade Ceramic glaze Cough syrup Soup stock Brick mortar ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/92 "2009-03-03T22:15:53Z")
> [@walrus](#): > > I don’t get it. Why not keep a can of a kind of soup you actually like in the back of the cupboard? You’ll go through food at the same rate, but when you get to the end, you’ll have one last good meal instead of a crappy one. Because if I like it, I’ll eat it right away. The point is to have a “nutrition of last resort” item that I will actually avoid eating if there are any feasible alternatives (okay, I’ll go shopping, okay, I’ll eat up that half-pack of edamame, okay, I’ll grab a sandwich at the cafeteria, etc.). That way, when I reach a point where I’m really stuck for food (I can’t go out, I have nothing else edible in the house, I’m starving), the despised but faithful can of tomato soup will still be there. (The current can is about a year and a half old, by the way, so it’s not like I’m dealing with this problem on a constant basis.) ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/93 "2009-03-03T23:34:08Z")
I’m surprised no one has mentioned it yet. I’ve had more than one person tell me that they’ve used Myoplex or Ensure in the belief that it increases sperm volume. Down a bottle or two, and you’re Peter North (aka ‘The Decorator’) I don’t believe it myself, nor have I ever tried it; but that’s what I’ve heard. ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/94 "2009-03-04T14:36:42Z")
I can’t believe people don’t like the taste of Ensure. To me, and to my entire family, it’s delicious. It’s like a little milkshake in a can. Much better than that watery Slimfast. It’s best cold, but it’s still perfectly delicious when warm. Vanilla is the best, then strawberry, then chocolate… and though I’ve only tried one of the more unusual flavors, it was good too. I don’t drink it because it’s “healthy” or “better for me than a granola bar” or anything … I drink it because it’s really, really good, and it’s actually somewhat filling so I don’t have to find one of the few food-distribution places on campus. Now if I could just get my kids to stop stealing it out of the refrigerator… ---
**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/95 "2009-03-04T16:15:29Z")
> [@Chanteuse](#): > > Ensure Is Not Intended For Use As: > […] > Soup stock _Au contraire!_ [Chicken Tortilla Soup](http://ensure.com/recipes/content.aspx?p=ChickenTortillaSoup) and [Cauliflower Soup](http://ensure.com/recipes/content.aspx?p=CauliflowerSoup) made with vanilla Ensure. Yes, I know it’s not properly “stock” but I think it’s amusing to see soup recipes that use Ensure… reminds me of those “backs of boxes/bottles/cans/jars” recipes from the 1960s and 1970s, where every recipe-- even desserts-- uses canned beef hash… ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/96 "2009-03-04T17:56:00Z")
One of my coworkers use ensure in between meals as weight gain- she was young and wanted a slightly more shapely figure. I thought it was pretty silly, but she just didn’t care enough about food to just eat better. Wasn’t a time issue. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Cloud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@Little\_Cloud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Cloud)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/97 "2009-03-05T15:29:30Z")
I went through a period where I could only hold down low volume/high calorie Ensure and actually came to like certain flavors. The real problem was the **smell** \*\*\*\*more than the taste. I found that using a straw with ice cold Ensure greatly improved the experience. ---
**Author:** ![rock\_party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@rock\_party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rock_party)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/98 "2009-03-05T17:34:46Z")
> [@](#): > > I can’t believe people don’t like the taste of Ensure To those of you who like the taste of Ensure: Have you ever tasted a REAL milkshake? Made with ice cream and strawberries? “Strawberry” Ensure tastes like the saliva in your mouth when you’re chewing bubble gum…only thicker…like bubble gum saliva flavored lucite paint. ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/99 "2009-03-05T17:36:52Z")
> [@rock\_party](#): > > To those of you who like the taste of Ensure: Have you ever tasted a REAL milkshake? > Made with ice cream and strawberries? “Strawberry” Ensure tastes like the saliva in your mouth when you’re chewing bubble gum…only thicker…like bubble gum saliva flavored lucite paint. Ensure doesn’t taste like a milkshake, it tastes like a milkshake-in-a-can. Which in its own way is just as good … mmm … milkshake-in-a-can… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678/100 "2009-03-05T17:42:58Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > But it’s got what plants crave! [Really?](http://www.brawndo.com/) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-ensure-in-a-way-that-was-not-intended/487678.md?page=6)