# Using gender specific pejoratives in the Pit? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [May 8, 2013, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764 "2013-05-08T02:13:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/21 "2013-05-08T10:56:41Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Jamaicans. šŸ˜• Esplain, pleese? šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/22 "2013-05-08T10:58:45Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > But why is it against the rules to call someone a ā€œcuntā€ in the Pit, **C K Dexter Haven**? Because the PTB, _ **said so** _. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/23 "2013-05-08T11:11:03Z")
Maybe Iā€™m doing it wrong, but in my real-life use of these words they are gender neutral. A female DMV clerk can dick me around or be a dick to me. If things are bad enough, sheā€™s a cunt. My male friends can be pussies. And ā€œcuntā€ is often used with joking affection. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/24 "2013-05-08T11:18:55Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > And as far as the dick vs cunt thing goes, speaking strictly on a pedantic level, arenā€™t those two the exact same thing? No love for cock? Dick = Pussy Cock = Cunt IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/25 "2013-05-08T11:21:45Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Maybe Iā€™m doing it wrong, but in my real-life use of these words they are gender neutral. A female DMV clerk can dick me around or be a dick to me. If things are bad enough, sheā€™s a cunt. My male friends can be pussies. And ā€œcuntā€ is often used with joking affection. Yeah, but doing it that way makes it much harder to use the issue in gender politics. You are supposed to use them in a way that just reduces the person to their genitalia. The way youā€™re doing it confuses things too much. ETA: What is this thing called ā€œvarying connotationsā€ that you hyu-manns seem to love so much? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/26 "2013-05-08T11:25:30Z")
> [@JBDivmstr](#): > > šŸ˜• Esplain, pleese? šŸ˜› [some people love this](http://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/jerk_chicken/) Me, if I wanted to spend half my lunch hour picking out the bones, Iā€™d order fish ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/27 "2013-05-08T11:26:01Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > The mods have said that the policy applies equally to men and women. > > So donā€™t worry, Shakes, if the women on this board ever decide to start asking the men to post pictures of their penises, they will be told to knock it off. I suppose the silver lining to all this is that I will be able to get through an Amazing Race thread or Dancing With The Stars without having to hear about how someone wants to sexually assault Phil Keoghan or Maks Chmerkovskiy. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/28 "2013-05-08T12:48:52Z")
In common English usage, there simply is no male-specific word thatā€™s as offensive as ā€œcuntā€. I donā€™t know how this state of affairs came to pass, and I donā€™t claim that itā€™s ā€œfairā€, whatever that means, but it is nonetheless the case. If there were such a word, then I would expect the moderators to take the same response to that hypothetical word as they do to ā€œcuntā€. ā€œPussyā€, meanwhile, although the direct meaning is the same as ā€œcuntā€, seems to have a very different usage as a pejorative. When one uses the term ā€œcuntā€ as an insult, itā€™s generally directed towards women, while ā€œpussyā€ is more often directed toward men. The implication of the former is that a woman has no worth beyond her genitalia, while the implication of the latter is that a man should not have qualities associated with women. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/29 "2013-05-08T13:16:26Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > When one uses the term ā€œcuntā€ as an insult, itā€™s generally directed towards women [ā€¦]The implication of the former is that a woman has no worth beyond her genitalia [ā€¦] I agree with everything else you wrote except these bits. My experience with the word is largely in its application to men, not women. I think I first heard the word in the Police lyrics to the song [_Rehumanize Yourself_](http://www.metrolyrics.com/rehumanize-yourself-lyrics-the-police.html): > [@](#): > > Billyā€™s joined the National Front > He always was a little runt > Heā€™s got his hand in the air with the other cunts > Youā€™ve got to humanize yourself A more recent example, spoken by a man in the movie _Snatch_: > [@](#): > > Brick Top: Do you know what ā€œnemesisā€ means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cuntā€¦ me. Perhaps itā€™s just a British tendency when using the word, but Iā€™ve never really heard it used in the way you say. Even when I do hear it applied to a woman (mostly recently, and mostly by women), it is as an amplification of the connotation of the word ā€œbitchā€, and in no way having to do with having no worth beyond her genitalia. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/30 "2013-05-08T13:56:13Z")
Yeah, itā€™s fascinating how the word changes by culture. Among the black people I know, the word was never a big deal, at all. We considered it ā€œwhite folk cussinā€ and mocked it along with ā€œcock suckerā€ and ā€œfucking Aā€. In the last few years, Iā€™ve noticed black women in the media/internet expressing offense to the word. Still havenā€™t noticed that in real life, though. Even black women who I peg as easily offended would probably just look puzzled at being called a cunt. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/31 "2013-05-08T14:21:13Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Yeah, itā€™s fascinating how the word changes by culture. Among the black people I know, the word was never a big deal, at all. We considered it ā€œwhite folk cussinā€ and mocked it along with ā€œcock suckerā€ and ā€œfucking Aā€. > > In the last few years, Iā€™ve noticed black women in the media/internet expressing offense to the word. Still havenā€™t noticed that in real life, though. Even black women who I peg as easily offended would probably just look puzzled at being called a cunt. As I recall, when the discussion of the word was going on here, it appears cunt is regarded as a much milder word in Britain and Australia than it is in America. But language is all context. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/32 "2013-05-08T14:43:17Z")
I should have clarified that I meant American English. I understand that itā€™s used differently in Britain, but I donā€™t know enough to comment there. ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/33 "2013-05-08T14:53:00Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Yeah, itā€™s fascinating how the word changes by culture. Among the black people I know, the word was never a big deal, at all. We considered it ā€œwhite folk cussinā€ and mocked it along with ā€œcock suckerā€ and ā€œfucking Aā€. > > In the last few years, Iā€™ve noticed black women in the media/internet expressing offense to the word. Still havenā€™t noticed that in real life, though. Even black women who I peg as easily offended would probably just look puzzled at being called a cunt. You mock our cussing??! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![supergoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@supergoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supergoose)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/34 "2013-05-08T14:58:35Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > In common English usage, there simply is no male-specific word thatā€™s as offensive as ā€œcuntā€. I donā€™t know how this state of affairs came to pass, and I donā€™t claim that itā€™s ā€œfairā€, whatever that means, but it is nonetheless the case. If there were such a word, then I would expect the moderators to take the same response to that hypothetical word as they do to ā€œcuntā€. I canā€™t think of an equivalent word either. Though personally, I think banning its use is a counterproductive tactic. The way to take the power out of a word is to use it frequently in a different, milder context (case in point: its usage in Britain and Australia), not to elevate it to ā€œunspeakable.ā€ That just reaffirms its power and probably increases it. IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/35 "2013-05-08T15:14:35Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > So currently, if some woman wants to call me a dick in the Pit; that gets a pass. But if I were to call some woman a cunt; I would get moded. > > I suppose if I were determined to call a woman a gender specific pejorative, I could call her a bitch. > > But even THAT begs the question: How are these new guidelines going to play out in the pit? Because the above guidelines certainly violates those rules. > > And as far as the dick vs cunt thing goes, speaking strictly on a pedantic level, arenā€™t those two the exact same thing? And shouldnā€™t that be considered a double standard? > > I get in the Pit weā€™re allowed to insult each other. Iā€™d just like to know if ā€œsexismā€ is going to be allowed in the pit as well. (Not that I have a burning desire to be sexist. Iā€™m just curious.) What amazes me is that all this time and all this effort has been spent coming up with a rule that this board hasnā€™t needed for 14 years. The good news is that 14 years from now when we have another thread about a naked woman passing out condoms in public weā€™ll have a rule in place to protect everyone. Proactive-r-us. The SDMB rule book looks more and more like a maze than a road map at times. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/36 "2013-05-08T15:45:06Z")
> [@supergoose](#): > > I canā€™t think of an equivalent word either. Though personally, I think banning its use is a counterproductive tactic. The way to take the power out of a word is to use it frequently in a different, milder context (case in point: its usage in Britain and Australia), not to elevate it to ā€œunspeakable.ā€ That just reaffirms its power and probably increases it. IMHO. That seems like a poor strategy. Itā€™s saying if something is wrong we should just endure it until we become numb to its effect. I generally prefer a strategy of addressing something thatā€™s wrong and fixing the problem. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/37 "2013-05-08T16:27:46Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I DO think itā€™s a double standard, which is something a few people on here have been bitching about. > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > ) The idea that cunt is this super special offensive term is stupid. Just to weigh in as someone who has been on the other side of this whole general debacle from you, Iā€™ve always felt that the rule against calling someone a cunt was silly. I think the word ā€œcuntā€ is, in practice, more offensive than say, ā€œdickā€ or ā€œpussyā€ but Iā€™ve never felt that was a reason to ban it out right. I think thereā€™s plenty of room for calling posters all sorts of historically gendered names without it being ā€œsexist behaviorā€ or whatever weā€™ve been discussing ad nauseum. Donā€™t get me wrong, I do understand the implications of the words, as previously explained in this thread, but I canā€™t say I take strong personal offense to any of it. As someone mentioned up thread, I definitely use all those phrases pretty interchangeably between men and women (in other words, Iā€™ve called many a man a cunt in my day and many a woman a dick-- ok, in my head at least:p), but that might just be how I do it. ---
**Author:** ![supergoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@supergoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supergoose)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/38 "2013-05-08T16:29:50Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > That seems like a poor strategy. Itā€™s saying if something is wrong we should just endure it until we become numb to its effect. I generally prefer a strategy of addressing something thatā€™s wrong and fixing the problem. But the negative meaning and association that the word has \*is \*the problem (edit: actually, I suppose the real real problem is people feeling like they canā€™t tolerate being exposed to it, but that links back to the meaning/association). As far as I can tell, changing the cultural meaning of the word is the only real solution (even if itā€™s just in your own head). Everything else is just avoidance. And yeah, if what youā€™re avoiding is, say, being lit on fire, then yes, avoidance is the only way to protect yourself (not a great analogy, sorry). But thatā€™s not what weā€™re talking about here. Fact is, the word exists. You will come in contact with it. And yes, words have power, but to a certain extent, we have power over them too and over our interpretations and reactions. And speaking personally, I find being able to do that makes me feel a lot better than feeling like I have to be protected from it. Plus, then weā€™re not forbidding other people from using it who donā€™t feel the need to be protected from it. ---
**Author:** ![supergoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@supergoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supergoose)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/39 "2013-05-08T16:45:48Z")
Missed the edit: thereā€™s another issue here. And that is, how far is it reasonable to try to protect people from things they find hurtful and offensive rather then it being their job to protect themselves by not exposing themselves to it? To a certain extent, thatā€™s subjective, but I personally feel that protecting people from having to read or be called the word cunt in a forum specifically designed for flaming and insults is going too far. (Itā€™s the Pit for Godā€™s sake. What do you expect to read there, if not stuff thatā€™s antagonistic and quite possibly offensive and insulting?) Because I know itā€™s been an issue recently and this thread is related to it: I feel itā€™s reasonable to moderate lewd jokes board-wide in the way itā€™s been decided by the mods. But Iā€™m pretty sure you couldnā€™t call someone a cunt in MPSIMS even before it was banned from usage and I think itā€™s reasonable to ask someone to avoid the pit if that kind of thing is an issue for them. I didnā€™t mean to stir things up and I certainly didnā€™t mean to get into the recent sex joke scandal, so Iā€™m not looking for a debate on that. Maybe I shouldnā€™t include that second paragraph at all, but I realized how what I said in paragraph one could be applied to that issue, so Iā€™m hoping to prevent more stirring up. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764/40 "2013-05-08T17:18:39Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > What amazes me is that all this time and all this effort has been spent coming up with a rule that this board hasnā€™t needed for 14 years. The good news is that 14 years from now when we have another thread about a naked woman passing out condoms in public weā€™ll have a rule in place to protect everyone. Proactive-r-us. > The SDMB rule book looks more and more like a maze than a road map at times. [Indeed, quite the maze. Overseen by a frightening madman sheathed in the clothing of a human being.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ley9k94GoZU) šŸ˜ƒ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-gender-specific-pejoratives-in-the-pit/657764.md?page=3)