# Using your child as a pawn in your schemes to get ahead (in line). OK or no? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 23, 2008, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402 "2008-12-23T01:44:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Influential\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Influential\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Influential_Panda)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2008, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/21 "2008-12-23T06:18:40Z")
Hey, don’t look at me. I feel the same way. But some folks need correctin’ is all. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/22 "2008-12-24T02:32:48Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Well it somehow seems unfair to get a free placeholder like that even if I was there first, but because I’m alone, I don’t get that privilege. Could I bring in an inflatable blow-up doll to use as _my_ placeholder while I fill out my deposit slips? I know I wouldn’t say anything! (Because I’d be too busy laughing!) I think you should try it and report back. Just walk up the person at the back of the line, say “Here, hold this!” and give them the doll before they have time to say anything. Go fill out your deposit slip, come back to the person you gave the doll to (now in the middle of the line), say thanks, take the doll and keep standing there in line. Oh, and video tape the whole thing. And put it on YouTube. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/23 "2008-12-24T02:39:28Z")
I don’t think there is a problem with this. My husband and I have on occasion thought one of us should go stand in line, and the other one should go gather the three things we need at Wal\*Mart (when the lines are halfway to the back of the store and there are two cashiers working). Is it unethical, or is it just better planning? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/24 "2008-12-24T04:01:43Z")
I don’t see a problem with it. As long as nobody holds up the line and you are ready to check out when your turn comes, who cares? If the placeholder makes people wait then it’s wrong and rude, but if you’re back to the line before you get to the actual checking out point, I think it’s an efficient use of time. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Mouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mighty_mouse/32/7776_2.png) [@Mighty\_Mouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Mouse)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/25 "2008-12-24T06:20:46Z")
I have had the case where there is someone standing in a grocery store checkout line with a couple of items in his hands. I get in line behind him, figuring, okay this line has three people, but at least one of them has only two items. Then his wife comes in with a shopping cart of items and it takes them ten minutes to check out. Sometimes it is even worse. The two people aren’t even husband and wife, and end up making it two transactions. Or the person in line already had one shopping cart and then the friend brings another and cuts in line. Used to happen all the time at the “Korean Farmers Market” (which isn’t really a farmers market at all) in Atlanta. You can’t really say anything, because the people doing this were almost always Korean, and the store security guards, who were numerous, didn’t make any pretence about being objective in resolving disputes between customers. And they had guns, and put their hands on them every time you got into an argument with them or someone else. Problem was that you couldn’t beat them for their selection and quality of oriental vegetables. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/26 "2008-12-24T11:26:11Z")
I got in the “15 items or less” line yesterday. I had 18 items. The other lines had shoppers with carts just brimming with hundreds of items. There wasn’t a line that offered “18 items or less” service, so I chose the one that most closely resembled my cart situation. Shoppers remained civil. People smiled. It’s all good. ---
**Author:** ![Palooka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/palooka/32/2902_2.png) [@Palooka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palooka)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/27 "2008-12-24T16:22:54Z")
Every time I call people on their too-many-items nonsense I don’t get any support from anyone. I won’t stop doing it though. Someone has to bring civilization to the grocery store. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/28 "2008-12-24T16:26:06Z")
The annoying thing in grocery stores is when people start having their items rung up and then midway through go off to pick something up and make everyone behind them wait. Though I suppose the cashier is also to blame for letting them just leave. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/29 "2008-12-24T17:18:33Z")
I see the OP as the equivalent of taking a number when you go to the DMV. Just that the ‘number’ in this circumstance is the position in line that was available when she walked in. No harm, no fowl. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/30 "2008-12-24T17:57:28Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > No harm, no **fowl**. (Bolding mine.) So you’re saying the gal in question is definitely not a turkey? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/31 "2008-12-24T19:16:21Z")
> [@Palooka](#): > > Every time I call people on their too-many-items nonsense I don’t get any support from anyone. I won’t stop doing it though. Someone has to bring civilization to the grocery store. I support you on this. I busted someone on this in Wal\*Mart one day - she had a cart half full in the 10 items or less line; I pointed out to her she was in the wrong line. She said, “I don’t see any sign,” and then I pointed to the three foot sign she had walked right past to get into the line. There was sheepish removal of her cart forthwith. That’s a good analogy, **Projammer**. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/32 "2008-12-24T19:46:27Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Yeah, and I find that annoying as well. Once I was in Starbucks, and the line was pretty long already, then not one, not two, but three ladies came in succession to meet their friend who happened to be standing right in front of me in line, then they all took turns ordering their respective drinks. How is this different from the person in front of you ordering for herself and 3 friends? People do that all the time. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/33 "2008-12-26T02:42:48Z")
> [@thirdwarning](#): > > Nothing changed for you. You weren’t any farther back in line, you didn’t have to wait any longer, it didn’t take you any longer to complete your transaction. This isn’t any different for you than if the woman had her slips filled out before you got there, and you wouldn’t have complained about that. > > There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. But if I want to leave the line and I don’t have someone with me, I don’t have this advantage. And I wouldn’t ask ask an adjacent stranger to hold my place in line because I’d feel I was imposing on them. > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > No, but what’s stopping you from bringing a friend along and asking them to hold your place while you fill out your slip? Are you serious? How many friends do you have who would come with you if you told them that was the main/only reason you wanted them along? This isn’t something I’d go postal over, but it is a minor annoyance. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/34 "2008-12-26T02:45:48Z")
> [@rowrrbazzle](#): > > Are you serious? How many friends do you have who would come with you if you told them that was the main/only reason you wanted them along? I don’t have any, but it’s not like the woman described in the OP had some advantage that absolutely no one could compete with. Theoretically, anyone could do it. ---
**Author:** ![CAT\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@CAT\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CAT_1)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/35 "2008-12-26T03:46:27Z")
The only time something like that has bothered me is when people do it for parking. I have seen people in busy parking lots have their kid jump out and run to stand in a parking spot until they can get over to it!!! That really bugs me. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/36 "2008-12-26T03:54:31Z")
> [@rowrrbazzle](#): > > But if I want to leave the line and I don’t have someone with me, I don’t have this advantage. And I wouldn’t ask ask an adjacent stranger to hold my place in line because I’d feel I was imposing on them. Consider the situation reversed: she stood in line, and her daughter filled out the slip and came to hand it to her while she waited in line. Would that be a problem? It doesn’t matter if you can’t do the same thing. What matters is that there was no harm done. Her choice as to how to allocate her time didn’t cost you any additional time. Indeed, she could have chosen differently–i.e., to wait until she reached the teller to fill out the slip, a choice supported by the business (if not exactly encouraged)–in a way that WOULD have resulted in a very minor extension of your time in the bank. Her choice was efficient, saved her time, and cost nobody else time. If only more folks made choices like this! If you want to save time, next time you go to the bank, take a clipboard with you, as suggested above. You’ll get exactly the same time savings as this woman got. The philosophical question, again, is this: was anyone harmed? Without any actual or potential harm, there’s no wrongdoing. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/37 "2008-12-26T04:06:49Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > How is this different from the person in front of you ordering for herself and 3 friends? People do that all the time. Presumably if she’s ordering for her 3 friends she has their orders written on a piece of paper — or she’s got the information in her head. If she gets to the head of her line and says, “Okay, I’m done. Bobbi, June, Marie! Get over here and read the menu and decide what you want!” then everybody behind them in line has to watch Bobbi, June and Marie going, “Ummmmmmmmmm… uhhhhhhh… what size is a grande again?” If they’d actually been in line, they might possibly already have known what they were going to order. Although not necessarily. I don’t get all that upset about lines, usually. I’m just saying there is a slight difference. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/38 "2008-12-26T04:15:14Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Well it somehow seems unfair to get a free placeholder like that even if I was there first, but because I’m alone, I don’t get that privilege. Could I bring in an inflatable blow-up doll to use as _my_ placeholder while I fill out my deposit slips? I don’t think that would work, but you could pay someone - perhaps a thirteen year old - maybe if you paid them a weekly amount - you could call it an allowance - then you could haul them on errands with you and get them to do you small favors like standing in line. Now, you’d probably still have to put up with incessant whining, probably some teen angst, and someone constantly complaining about whatever you are listening to in the radio, but for saving yourself two minutes at the bank, it might be worth it. If you think a thirteen year old accompanying you on errands is a “free” placeholder, you’ve never parented a thirteen year old. ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/39 "2008-12-26T06:15:52Z")
I guess I’m the only person that can’t wait for my kid to get big enough to use in the grocery. I’m deeply envious of the folks that can forget something and send a kid to get it, or have the kid guard the cart while they scamper off. Being childless means either a. I have to have my shit way more together than I do, or b. lose my place in line to go get what I forgot. I swear, they should sell single/childless trafficy cones for lines. It is UNFAIR I say, as I seethe with envy. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2008, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402/40 "2008-12-26T09:40:34Z")
I don’t see a problem with getting someone to stand in line as a proxy, as long as that proxy doesn’t represent more than one person or so. I get annoyed when you’ve got one person standing in the queue, and when they get to the front, it’s “Hey guys, come over here and order your stuff!” and suddenly four other people show up with complicated orders. OK, it’s not a big deal, but I still think it’s mildly inconsiderate. And before anyone comes in with the “My friend/spouse/family member/colleague/other person I spend lots of time with has a medical condition and can’t stand in line for ages” thing, that’s not what I’m talking about and you know it, so don’t even start with that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-child-as-a-pawn-in-your-schemes-to-get-ahead-in-line-ok-or-no/478402.md?page=1)