# Using your looks to your advantage. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 2, 2005, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-looks-to-your-advantage/302051 "2005-05-02T14:37:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 3\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-looks-to-your-advantage/302051/41 "2005-05-05T01:19:16Z")
> [@Cerri](#): > > Would it be as unacceptable if I as say, a legal secretary, wore say, very nice, well-tailored suits of nice materials that accentuated my “assets” without being slutty, wore makeup, and did my hair nice, as opposed to the other secretary who doesn’t take care of her appearance as well, and dresses in frumpy clothes that don’t fit her well? > > What if the lawyer in the office decided he needs a personal assistant to accompany him places, to business functions and such? If the other dumpy secretary and I have the same abilities, and I am offered the position over her, because I look better and would present a better appearance in places I’d have to appear with the lawyer, is that unfairly using looks to my advantage? It sounds to me like you’d say yes, but I don’t think so at all. Here is what I said before: “Our society is not perfect and does require people to do unnecessary things to be respectable in public. I know I cannot change these social norms in my life time, so it is best that I go along with them. I wish these social norms would change, but all I can do is post about it on an internet forum.” So if the dumpy secretary dresses way below the standards of society and causes society to disrespect the law firm because of her, then the law firm should hire the pretty one. It is also impossible for two people to have the same personality, so it should be the secretary with the better personality who gets the job. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-looks-to-your-advantage/302051/42 "2005-05-05T05:46:38Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > What if you are neither hugely attractive nor monumentally ugly? What if you fit into the bland invisible middle of things? Oi, you! I’m not monumentally ugly, just fat. Keep it straight! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-looks-to-your-advantage/302051/43 "2005-05-05T14:06:21Z")
Hmmm. I’ve always tried to use friendliness as an attempt to smooth my way. And, sometimes that friendliness crosses over into flirtatiousness. Using my physical assets, though – that’s harder. You see, I’m a short, curvy girl and I tend to dress in a stereotypically sexy fashion as a matter of course because that’s the type of clothes that I like and feel look best on me. I have short legs, so tight pants and short skirts look better on me than baggy pants and long skirts. I’m busty with a short neck and a short waist, so fitted tops with scooped or v-necklines look better than boxy tops with high necks. And so on. So, if I was being friendly and bubbly in an attempt to make a good impression on some authority figure (a cop, or a boss, or a teacher) and just happen to be wearing tight Levis and a tank top while I’m doing it, does that mean I’m using my looks? Maybe, although I wouldn’t have thought of it that way – I honestly don’t consider that I’m especially good looking other than my figure, which was (IMO) my main beauty back in the day. People have told me (my husband, obviously, but others too) that I give off a sexy ‘vibe’ – I’ve always considered this to be a natural consequence of my outgoing personality, and my pocket-venus proportions. And, to be completely honest, I suppose I have used that when I felt it would help me… It’s an interesting thing to think about. I have recently turned 44 and I’ve noticed that I’m making some adjustments to the personal style I’ve concocted over the years. I still wear tight jeans (jeans are jeans), and fitted tops, but don’t feel comfortable in the sexy young girl things that my daughter wears – I would never go out in public with my belly showing, at my age, and my skirts are several inches longer than they used to be. But I still try to look my best and be friendly and outgoing, so I guess I’m still trying to push my assets as best I can. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/using-your-looks-to-your-advantage/302051.md?page=2)