# Uterine Update with TMI Warning **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2013, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uterine-update-with-tmi-warning/656466 "2013-04-23T03:34:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![applebetty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4af34b/32.png) [@applebetty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/applebetty)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uterine-update-with-tmi-warning/656466/1 "2013-04-23T03:34:42Z")
Reference [To Hell With My Uterus - The BBQ Pit - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=681938) For those of you waiting on tenterhooks with baited breath, I have news to set you (and me) all atwitter. In ten short (long, fatiguing, never ending) days I will have my no-good uterus and ovaries yanked (delicately excised, peeled away from my bladder, snipped from it’s ligaments, and eased out my vagina by the DaVinci robot). Then stitches, being driven home by a friend, and banned from work or exertion for at least six weeks (more probably 8-10 as my job requires occasional heavy lifting and there is no such thing as light duty). Let’s see, what have we been up to lately? Last month, two solid weeks (between periods) of constant grinding on it’s axis in my pelvis for no apparent reason other than to piss me off. No flow, no show. Random stabbings of pain from my ovaries to my crotch, similar to the “It’s just round ligament pain,” when I was pregnant, but lower in the pelvis. This month, a constant, heavy rolling cramp that makes it hard to stand up straight (along with more intense lovely stabbings). Forget trying to walk normally or do anything normally, you must stay hunched over and move slowly, or the uterus will make you pay (by it performing high-flying acrobatics with flaming loops and swords, and with horses and elephants thundering around in circles. There’s probably jugglers and clowns in a mini-car zipping about in crazy patterns. They found a fibroid on my ultrasound, so now I have “a good reason” for it to be excavated. I had to have a biopsy of the endometrium to prove there was no cancer. Apparently cancer cells meandering through your innards after surgery is bad juju. That was interesting (go through the cervix of my already unhappy system and just snip off a piece, you won’t hardly notice). Negative though, so that’s good Forget sex, that was a different life. This thing is a jealous god(dess) who wants it all her way. Guess what? You are soon to be hystery! I’m going to take a crochet hook to give to my wonderful doctor, in case things get stuck. Now I only have to prepare my stand-in for two major events and the day-to-day BS, and myself for weeks of invalidity. I go about with a grim smile on my face, my uterus has an expiration date, HURRAH! ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uterine-update-with-tmi-warning/656466/2 "2013-04-23T03:38:34Z")
It’s wonderful you are getting a solution! Will you have to take hormone supplements afterwards? ---
**Author:** ![applebetty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4af34b/32.png) [@applebetty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/applebetty)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uterine-update-with-tmi-warning/656466/3 "2013-04-23T03:59:34Z")
The doctor said I should. I said we’ll give them a trial run. My friend says you become an instant raging bitch without, so I will take them for now. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uterine-update-with-tmi-warning/656466/4 "2013-04-23T10:52:18Z")
Awesome news! Good riddance to bad garbage! ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uterine-update-with-tmi-warning/656466/5 "2013-04-23T12:06:35Z")
Congrats on the impending eviction! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![applebetty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4af34b/32.png) [@applebetty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/applebetty)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uterine-update-with-tmi-warning/656466/6 "2013-04-25T02:54:44Z")
Thank you, I’m trying for pictures, too. :eek:🆒😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2013, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uterine-update-with-tmi-warning/656466/7 "2013-04-27T01:57:29Z")
Glad to hear it, I was wondering how you were doing! ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2013, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uterine-update-with-tmi-warning/656466/8 "2013-04-27T03:21:25Z")
Thanks for the update! Happy to hear a solution is nigh. Sorry to hear it involves abdominal surgery. Wishing you a speedy recovery! ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2013, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uterine-update-with-tmi-warning/656466/9 "2013-04-27T13:20:58Z")
Huzzah!!! I had it done, never regretted it [just regret not having it done 20 years earlier!] though I am not on HRT, I decided to deal with the hot flashes [my own personal heat wave:p] I do have vaginal dryness, and discussed with the doc and we decided on going with personal lubricant - works just fine. Honestly, not having the bleeding out and evil circus in my cootchie is amazingly worth it! ---
**Author:** ![sidhechaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sidhechaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidhechaos)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2013, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uterine-update-with-tmi-warning/656466/10 "2013-04-28T04:05:48Z")
I have wished for the same thing since I was eight(thats when puberty hit) so pissed at 46 they srill won’t yank the plumbing despite what it does to me (endo, cysts, 3 week periods at the end of which I’ve had ro have transfusions) plus even if I’d wanted kids couldn’t have had them. In other words boy do I understand and congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2013, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uterine-update-with-tmi-warning/656466/11 "2013-04-28T07:31:24Z")
Don’t worry if you get staples instead of stitches. I woke up to find out I had staples on my abdomen, but IME they are easier for the doctor or nurse or whoever to take out. Sometimes, when I walk past the feminine products section of the store, I very nearly get delirious with joy because I don’t have to worry about whether or not I need more pads or tampons.