# UTIs and other crap - August Minirants! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 1, 2011, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020 "2011-08-01T09:10:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/361 "2011-08-18T15:54:25Z")
Black pinkie toenail, you’re pulling up in front. Could you please just detatch in the back so I can be rid of you, instead of just poking at you and going “ew ew ew”? ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/362 "2011-08-18T17:10:27Z")
When we last took a break on the Tale of the Fucked Up Modem, I was waiting for Qwest/CenturyLink (screw 'em, I’m saying who they are) to call me back regarding them sending me a new modem for no reason. They never called me back. So, I called them yesterday. What a joke. All I wanted was direction on what to do with this new modem and what to do with the old modem, and by the way you best not be still charging me for modem rental. Douchewad decided it was a perfect time to upsell me on every damn thing. Do you not understand? I just want this resolved, NO I do not want wireless, NO I do not want voicemail, just send me the damn box so I can send the fucked modem back to you all! He also started EVERY damn sentence with my name - but not my correct name. Fifteen minutes on the phone with this fucking yahoo, most of it dead air while he was tippy typing away, interspersed with “Missy, we have your phone number as unlisted, is that something you’re still interested in?” No shit, if I didn’t want to be unlisted I would have, oh, I dunno, contacted you about that. Instead, I’m contacting you about returning your shit. GAH! I ended up disconnecting the call. I had told him multiple times that I did not want an account review, I just wanted ONE DAMN ANSWER. I wonder if they’ll send me the return box… ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/363 "2011-08-18T19:45:25Z")
Don’t hang up on him–asked to be passed to a new rep, since he clearly doesn’t give a shit about actually taking care of what you need him to do. Preferably speak to his superviser during the transfer, so you can explain everything the guy needs to be corrected on (or what they should pass on up the chain needs to be taken out of the required scripts). ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2011, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/364 "2011-08-18T20:40:23Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > I’m just hoping he’s forgotten the whole rant, or remembered the bit about not talking to me, when I go to practice tonight. Do let us know if that bit works out for you. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/365 "2011-08-19T01:12:22Z")
There’s a twerp named Chad Love-Lieberman (nephew to the Senator from CT) who recently insured his testicles for over a million dollars. Likely this was a bid for publicity, but it seems to have backfired on him in a big way. Seems he’s not just a self-important twerp, [he’s also been reselling other people’s art as his own work](http://www.thecampussocialite.com/new-york-multimedia-pop-artist-insures-his-own-nuts/) and [plagiarizing](http://live-momma.livejournal.com/337817.html) [other people’s books](http://live-momma.livejournal.com/337590.html). One of the people whose work he’s claimed as his own is Ursula Vernon, author of [Digger](http://www.diggercomic.com/). So here’s to you, Mr. Chad. Here’s hoping Lloyds cancels that policy before they have to pay out, 'cause I’ve a feeling you’re about to get them handed to you. With hot sauce. Enjoy the meal. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/366 "2011-08-19T02:07:07Z")
I have an ingrown hair right where my pants waistband hits. Hurts like a bitch. So I put a band-aid over it to keep my pants from rubbing on it. I start to get all itchy in that general area so I investigate. I have to be careful to only use the fabric latex-free band-aids because I’m allergic to latex. Apparently now I am also sensitive to something in these latex-free ones because I now have a nice rash along with a painful ingrown hair. Ow…ow…ow… ---
**Author:** ![bubba\_jr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@bubba\_jr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubba_jr)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/367 "2011-08-19T03:29:39Z")
I can really just randomly bitch in this thread? Fucking awesome. Well, first off customers suck, they’re all fucking stupid, don’t listen to shit, and actively try to lose money. Even when you TRY and save them money, they will actively spend more money than they need to. Example, I’m going to charge you $200 more to make this part out of the wrong material, you can buy the correct material (that I specifically put in the quote) for $12. No, they took the $200 option, not the $12 dollar option. All I lost was some time and I got $200 extra dollars. Asshole today in front of me, in the left hand lane, stops dead, then turns right, no blinker. Sadly I expect that now, and was planning accordingly. Sadly, its usually a guy in the left hand lane, puts on his blinker to turn left, and then turns right. I know to expect that also. I’ve decided that most people are retarded. No disrespect to actual retarded people, they know how to fucking drive and know their left from right. And just for fun, the new teller at the bank, a spitting image of the biggest asshole I’ve ever met in my life. He wants to put a 10 day hold on my paycheck. The paycheck is from the same damn bank and I’m a co-signer on the account the check is coming from, and its a pay roll check. But he was transferred to the sticks from the big city and they do it right, looks like an asshole, acts like an asshole and he is an asshole. Looking for a new bank right now, and no, there wasn’t a hold, the manager took care of that real quick. I’ve also just realized that my dogs aren’t that bright. They can be scary, but the wind really doesn’t care. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/368 "2011-08-19T04:26:36Z")
> [@bubba\_jr](#): > > I can really just randomly bitch in this thread? Fucking awesome. snipped Isn’t that great? I love these threads 🙂 > [@](#): > > I’ve also just realized that my dogs aren’t that bright. They can be scary, but the wind really doesn’t care. I’m quite sure that they just running drills for when the Zombies come. they can smell them, you know! ---
**Author:** ![bubba\_jr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@bubba\_jr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubba_jr)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/369 "2011-08-19T05:23:13Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > I’m quite sure that they just running drills for when the Zombies come. they can smell them, you know! I always just figured they were working hard at chasing away the pink elephants. It could be zombies, they’re so good at their job, it could even be Mormons. I’m not sure the practicing is working so well, they are still scared of the UPS guy. Though he may be a Jehovah’s witness. In which case I don’t blame them, and they are possibly smarter than I think. But definitely, no pink elephant infestation here. ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/370 "2011-08-19T05:42:59Z")
> [@bubba\_jr](#): > > I can really just randomly bitch in this thread? Fucking awesome. **Shot From Guns** called herself abrasive in the Online Dating thread. I said I didn’t think she was. She told me I didn’t hang out in the Pit enough then. So I checked out the Pit and discovered these mini-rants threads. I became hooked. They are indeed fucking awesome. BTW, I still don’t find **Shot From Guns** abrasive. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/371 "2011-08-19T13:08:39Z")
There was a thunderstorm in my area yesterday morning. First of all, it woke me up an hour before my alarm was scheduled to go off, so thanks for that. Second of all, it blew out my internet, cable, and telephone service (via Verizon FIOS). I didn’t realize this until I got back from work yesterday and spent about an hour rebooting the wireless router and wondering why the WAN light wouldn’t go on. When I went to call tech support, I got no dial tone, and turning on the TV confirmed I had no cable service. When I called tech support (from my cell), they said they’d need to send a technician over, and the earliest they could schedule that was for August 30. This is my dad’s house, I don’t know where his cable box/battery backup unit/whatever is, and he is out of the country until the 28th. So…well, shit. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/372 "2011-08-19T13:18:31Z")
Boyfriend, can you wake up in the morning without a tantrum? So you can’t sleep because you’re hungry. Well then, \*eat something \*and then go back to sleep. Either way, stfu because I’m tired of you waking up pissed every morning. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/373 "2011-08-19T13:37:44Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > Boyfriend, can you wake up in the morning without a tantrum? So you can’t sleep because you’re hungry. Well then, \*eat something \*and then go back to sleep. Either way, stfu because I’m tired of you waking up pissed every morning. Is your boyfriend a toddler? ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/374 "2011-08-19T13:44:37Z")
My AC is out. Thankfully it waited til after the crazy heat wave and I know that I like the heat but not when I’m trying to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/375 "2011-08-19T14:40:46Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > Boyfriend, can you wake up in the morning without a tantrum? So you can’t sleep because you’re hungry. Well then, \*eat something \*and then go back to sleep. Either way, stfu because I’m tired of you waking up pissed every morning. I’m not a toddler. But I keep a baggie of Cheerios next to a cup\* of water on my bedside nightstand, and it helps me very much to have a quick handful of cereal and a gulp of water when I wake up hungry/cranky. The only downside is that Mr. Horseshoe _hates_ Cheerio-breath. However, I hate being hungry/cranky more! 😃 - Well, water-filled Gatorade bottle, now. Damn cat. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/376 "2011-08-19T15:17:54Z")
OMG, Television Without Pity! Take your blurry, camouflaged CAPTCHA crap and shove it up your butt! Is that a zero or an oh? Is that a B or a 2? I can’t tell because it’s almost exactly the same color as the ribbon of puce that’s behind it in the image and I can’t see the middle of the damn thing! I hate going through three separate fail-screens before I get a CAPTCHA that I can actually SEE clearly! I understand the need to keep spambots off the forums, but there HAS to be a better way! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/377 "2011-08-19T15:47:49Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > **Shot From Guns** called herself abrasive in the Online Dating thread. I said I didn’t think she was. She told me I didn’t hang out in the Pit enough then. So I checked out the Pit and discovered these mini-rants threads. I became hooked. They are indeed fucking awesome.\ They are awesome - it changes your perspective on the annoying things that happen to you when you start composing a post about them after they happen. 🙂 > [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > \ > > - Well, water-filled Gatorade bottle, now. Damn cat. My husband’s cat has made it her life’s mission to get into my cup of water that I’m drinking out of while I watch tv. She hones in on it like a water-seeking missile. > [@jayjay](#): > > OMG, Television Without Pity! Take your blurry, camouflaged CAPTCHA crap and shove it up your butt! Is that a zero or an oh? Is that a B or a 2? I can’t tell because it’s almost exactly the same color as the ribbon of puce that’s behind it in the image and I can’t see the middle of the damn thing! I hate going through three separate fail-screens before I get a CAPTCHA that I can actually SEE clearly! > > I understand the need to keep spambots off the forums, but there HAS to be a better way! I hate the captchas that you can’t actually read, and it also irritates the anal retentive in me that they say, “Type in these two words,” when the things they want you to type in aren’t actually words (when did “gleeble” become a word?). ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/378 "2011-08-19T15:53:44Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I hate the captchas that you can’t actually read, and it also irritates the anal retentive in me that they say, “Type in these two words,” when the things they want you to type in aren’t actually words (when did “gleeble” become a word?). With those ones, someone’s [getting you to do free labor for them](http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/29/science/29recaptcha.html)… ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/379 "2011-08-19T15:56:18Z")
> [@Invisible\_Chimp](#): > > BTW, I still don’t find **Shot From Guns** abrasive. YMMV. Your dad’s a prostitute and you smell funny. > [@jayjay](#): > > I hate going through three separate fail-screens before I get a CAPTCHA that I can actually SEE clearly! There should be a refresh button somewhere on the CAPTCHA window. If you can’t tell what a character is, don’t guess and wait for it to fail–just hit refresh until you get one you can read. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2011, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020/380 "2011-08-19T16:00:21Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > With those ones, someone’s [getting you to do free labor for them](http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/29/science/29recaptcha.html)… Yay us? 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020.md?page=18) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/utis-and-other-crap-august-minirants/591020.md?page=20)