# Uwe Boll's Big Opening! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 19, 2008, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896 "2008-05-19T21:10:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Smid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/838e76/32.png) [@Smid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smid)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/21 "2008-05-20T09:38:41Z")
He’ll keep getting these licenses and make awful movies until sales of the original video games suffer… I think they already have, but its hard to quantify… As an owner of the Postal 2 game, which I found a bit of a giggle, theres no way I would buy Postal 3. But to be fair that could be the limited appeal of the game though… ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/22 "2008-05-20T09:57:27Z")
[QUOTE=Smid] He’ll keep getting these licenses and make awful movies until sales of the original video games suffer… I think they already have, but its hard to quantify… As an owner of the Postal 2 game, which I found a bit of a giggle, theres no way I would buy Postal 3. [/QUOTE] I’ve heard that the German tax law Boll exploits to get funding for his movies was being repealed, which I assume would put an end to his career. Can’t remember _where_ I heard it though, so take with a grain of salt. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/23 "2008-05-20T12:41:01Z")
I’m trying to find out exactly _which_ four theaters are showing this film. Might be worth a road trip just for the street cred of saying “I saw Postal on opening night”. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/24 "2008-05-20T14:01:09Z")
[QUOTE=Dante] I’m trying to find out exactly _which_ four theaters are showing this film. Might be worth a road trip just for the street cred of saying “I saw Postal on opening night”. [/QUOTE] I’d be interested in seeing the street where that would give you cred. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/25 "2008-05-20T14:15:22Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Lance Murdoch] I’d be interested in seeing the street where that would give you cred. [/QUOTE] It’s a side street in the bad part of Berlin. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/26 "2008-05-20T15:00:54Z")
[QUOTE=Darth Nader] Would I have to box him? [/QUOTE] Wait, Uwe Boll’s a Cylon? That would explain a lot, actually. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/27 "2008-05-20T15:46:30Z")
_ **Uwe Boll’s Big Opening!** _ (This has “straight line” written all over it, so…) What is “His mouth”, Alex? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/28 "2008-05-20T17:35:13Z")
That’s an improvement over my interpretation. I read it as a goatse reference, which makes me want to invite **Dante** into the boxing ring for a little punching of my own. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/29 "2008-05-20T17:44:54Z")
Ugh, I wouldn’t wish a goatse-ing on anyone, even Uwe Boll. Although if they ever make a goatse video game, I think Uwe would probably be in line to direct the movie version. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/30 "2008-05-20T17:48:52Z")
Possible, but how would we tell the difference? His filmmaking already resembles turning around and showing us his bowels. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/31 "2008-05-20T18:06:11Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] Possible, but how would we tell the difference? His filmmaking already resembles turning around and showing us his bowels. [/QUOTE] Or, in many cases, a cinematic effects version of other people’s bowels. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/32 "2008-05-20T18:12:21Z")
Poor Dave Foley. I didn’t think things had gotten that bad. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/33 "2008-05-20T18:26:13Z")
[QUOTE=Loach] Poor Dave Foley. I didn’t think things had gotten that bad. [/QUOTE] Rumor is that he does full frontal. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/34 "2008-05-20T18:55:34Z")
[QUOTE=Zjestika] Rumor is that he does full frontal. [/QUOTE] Look at the trailer from the site linked above. The one labeled R-rated. The naughty bits are pixelated but he is showing the full monty. I assume there will be no pixelation in the “film”. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/35 "2008-05-20T19:29:32Z")
[QUOTE=Dante] I’m trying to find out exactly _which_ four theaters are showing this film. Might be worth a road trip just for the street cred of saying “I saw Postal on opening night”. [/QUOTE] I started looking and found this on [IMDB](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486640/board/thread/106595317?d=106607806&p=1#106607806) > [@](#): > > As of this writing, we’re up to 12 signed theaters. > Austin, South Lamar > (address coming soon — midnight showings only) > > Granville 7 > Granville Street Downtown > Vancouver, Canada > > Cobble Hill Cinemas > 265 Court Street > Brooklyn, NY 11231 > (718) 596-9113 > > Tower Theaters > 8031 N Business Park Drive > Tucson, AZ 85743 > (520) 579-0500 > > Portage Theatre > 4050 N. Milwaukee Ave. > Chicago, IL > (773) 486-9612 > > Laemmle’s Monica 4-plex > 1332 2nd Street > Santa Monica, 90401 > (310) 394-9741 > > Culver Plaza Theatres > 9919 Washington Blvd. > Culver City, CA 90232 > (310) 836-5511 > > Neighborhood Flix > 2510 E Colfax Ave > Denver, CO 80206 > (303) 777-3549 > > Terrace Charleston (midnight shows Friday/Saturday/Sunday only) > 1956-D Maybank Highway > Charleston, SC 29412 > (843) 762-9494 > > Los Feliz Theatres > 1822 N. Vermont Avenue > Los Angeles, CA 90027 > (323) 664-2169 > > Galaxy South Dekalb Funplex 12 > 2801 Candler Rd > Decatur, GA 30034 > (404) 243-3606 > > Galaxy Cinema Fun Plex > 274 Highway 138 SW > Riverdale, GA 30274 > (678) 479-8880 I’m curious if this is already out on the torrents since this movie was released in October 2007 anyway. That may affect a big release here (well, besides the 20 theaters thing and the 9/11 humor and the Uwe Boll tag and …well, everything else). ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/36 "2008-05-20T20:17:13Z")
[QUOTE=stpauler] I’m curious if this is already out on the torrents since this movie was released in October 2007 anyway. That may affect a big release here (well, besides the 20 theaters thing and the 9/11 humor and the Uwe Boll tag and …well, everything else). [/QUOTE] Thanks for the list, looks like I’m S.O.L. for a live event. I’ll bet we see an R5 any minute though. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2008, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896/37 "2008-05-20T23:14:39Z")
[QUOTE=Dante] It’s a side street in the bad part of Berlin. [/QUOTE] And ironically, mail carriers are afraid to go there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/uwe-bolls-big-opening/449896.md?page=1)