# Vacation without spouse - Yay or nay **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 26, 2015, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vacation-without-spouse-yay-or-nay/720866 "2015-05-26T10:49:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2015, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vacation-without-spouse-yay-or-nay/720866/41 "2015-05-27T22:33:29Z")
For day/weekend trips, we have done it. Mostly because our peer groups tends to segregate along gender lines, so there will be a guys’ weekend or a ladies’ weekend away. I can’t imagine wanting to go on vacation without her; If I had the time off, I’d likely occupy myself with the 1000 things that could be done at/near home and hold off any travel until we could go together. Also bear in mind, we both sleep poorly apart, so that’s an added consideration. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2015, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vacation-without-spouse-yay-or-nay/720866/42 "2015-05-27T23:44:11Z")
Reading some of these comments makes me envious. I really wish she’d take a vacation without me, but instead my wife looks to me for direction on vacations, where I offer-up several options that I would be interested in, that she can select from. When we are there, I am looked-to as the decider - “What are we going to do today?”. It’s quite a burden, especially when we add-in the kids. I have been able to go on a few trips over the years on my own/with friends, but the majority are with the family. It has been a rarity. At this point everyone has their own agenda and tastes when it comes to vacations, and the last 2-3 trips have been very stressful on me as a result of everyone’s inflexibility. As a result, this year I planned no family trips and will be taking several small trips on my own to do things no-one else in the family is interested in doing (bike trips, backpacking, road trips). Will take a kid with me on a few of them (the one that is gregarious, flexible, and likes to travel). ---
**Author:** ![tenacious\_j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tenacious\_j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tenacious_j)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vacation-without-spouse-yay-or-nay/720866/43 "2015-05-28T00:17:25Z")
> [@peedin](#): > > I vote for solo vacations only if spouse has no interest in going. She has an interest in going. She has been thinking vacation for as long as he has, and has had just as rough a year without one. > [@even\_sven](#): > > It’s kind of academic for us right now as we are saving money, but our generally policy is that “must go” trips like visiting family, going to a weekend wedding or staying an extra weekend on a work trip can be solo or together depending on interest and finances (basically, if you want the other person to go, you’ll probably have to pay for it). That’s how it is around here. Real vacations, though, are together. > [@Fallen](#): > > All other issues aside, if you have plenty of savings and retirement, fine not to worry about the cost of the vaca. If you do not – and you mentioned something that indicates lack of jobs (and, it follows, income continuity), I would make it a staycation IF the paid time off is use or lose. We have not both had jobs long enough, at the same time, to have more than 10 days vacation for each of us in the same year, in about forever. That includes snow days, sick days, short family trips, and this year, days at home waiting for contractors and repairmen. Doesn’t leave much. > [@Fallen](#): > > Ultimately, doesn’t matter what we’d think. What matters is what your spouse thinks, among other things. 🙂 Yeah, this! It’s me, the beautiful, generous wife here. I would love to be able to send him off and spend time apart. It really isn’t about letting him go or his having a good time without me. I love him and want him to enjoy his life. It’s that [ol] [li]we both bust our butts all year for a limited amount of vacation and money[/li][li]as usual it’s been a hell of a year and we both deserve it[/li][li]I’d rather he hold out until I have some job security and/or paid time off. I really truly don’t think it will be long until I know at least a little more.[/ol][/li]And I haven’t said no, mostly because I am still keeping my hopes up that not only I’ll get a real job, but also find some fabulous surprise trip that he’ll enjoy even more with his few earned days off. I am really good at that. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vacation-without-spouse-yay-or-nay/720866/44 "2015-05-28T00:32:42Z")
> [@diggerwam](#): > > What would you think if your spouse asked this of you? Taking care of the dogs 😕:eek::mad:- no f’n way that is going to happen, they are not mine nor did I desire them, your problem, not mine. Everything else OK. ---
**Author:** ![tenacious\_j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tenacious\_j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tenacious_j)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vacation-without-spouse-yay-or-nay/720866/45 "2015-05-28T01:14:03Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Taking care of the dogs 😕:eek::mad:- no f’n way that is going to happen, they are not mine nor did I desire them, your problem, not mine. Everything else OK. Not a big deal around here. We happily share them, and the cat :rolleyes: that I said I would never, ever let live here… ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vacation-without-spouse-yay-or-nay/720866/46 "2015-05-28T18:08:38Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > In two weeks, Mrs. C and I will have been married 45 years. As we are still each others’ best friend, we’ve never taken a vacation apart and wouldn’t dream of it. Quoting my own self to clarify: I don’t like the smug tone of that post, which implies that any couple who remain each others’ BFF would never vacation separately. It applies in _our_ case, and I should have chosen my words more thoughtfully. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2015, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vacation-without-spouse-yay-or-nay/720866/47 "2015-05-29T03:35:45Z")
I’d help him pack. After 36 years of marriage I can tell you this: where his (just an example) golf outings might make me feel unwanted during the first few years, by now I’d be suggesting he go and help look for new courses that might interest him. Togetherness is great if there ain’t too much of it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vacation-without-spouse-yay-or-nay/720866.md?page=2)