# Valedictorians and the people that suck them off **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 11, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valedictorians-and-the-people-that-suck-them-off/181034 "2003-06-11T03:41:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valedictorians-and-the-people-that-suck-them-off/181034/61 "2003-06-11T23:09:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rysler \* > \*\*I’m sorry your sister didn’t get the recognition she deserved, **Airman**. \*\* Interestingly enough, this really isn’t about that. I know you all don’t believe me on this, but it’s really not. What this is about is how these two students are somehow the only two successful students in the entire school, to all appearances. Here’s an analogy. Michael Jordan was a great basketball player, possibly the greatest that ever lived. However, he was a great scorer and a great defender, but not so great as a rebounder or shot blocker. He never led the league in all significant categories in one season, for all his greatness. And yet nobody doubts that he was great. Compare that to these guys. Am I to believe that they were the two best people in EVERY SINGLE CATEGORY? I say bullshit on that one. They got one award after another because it was the easy way out. From a purely objective viewpoint, am I to believe that the top 1% of the entire class was that much better than everyone else? I think not. They got one big suckjob from the faculty. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valedictorians-and-the-people-that-suck-them-off/181034/62 "2003-06-11T23:12:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MsRobyn \* > \*\* > I think that since the salutatorian was giving so many speeches, he should’ve been kept to maybe two minutes per speech, with five minutes for the salutatory address. \*\* I can understand that. Graduation is long enough without long winded speeches. > [@](#): > > \*\* > And both students desperately need to forget **Bartlett’s Quotations** exists, because the usual suspects were quoted. (I refer here to Mandela and Mother Teresa. If I have to make a speech at my graduation, I’m quoting PW Botha and Madalyn Murray O’Hair, just out of spite.) \*\* They’re young, give 'em a break. > [@](#): > > \*\* > The problem that I see with giving awards based solely on grades is that a grade isn’t necessarily an indicator of achievement or effort. \*\* Grades are an excellent indicator of achievement. That’s what they’re there for. It might not be an excellent judge of a person overall but I think it fits just fine when determining who the valedictorian is going to be. > [@](#): > > \*\* > In any case, what’s wrong with recognizing a student for more than just grades? \*\* Nothing at all. One shouldn’t preclude the other but at a graduation ceremony you’ve only got so much time to dole out the honors. Yearbooks are an appropriate place to dole out many honors. > [@](#): > > \*\* > They’re going to go to school thinking they’re the Queen and King of the World, and they’re going to be in classes where there are an awful lot of people just like they are, with similar academic backgrounds and resumes. And they’re going to learn that they’re not so special after all, and that they’re going to have to work for their grades. > > Robin \*\* I seriously doubt they’re in for any rude awakening. Most of them already have excellent study habits and a work ethic that will make them more likely to succeed in college. What’s with the implication that valedictorians don’t work for their grades in high school? Marc ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valedictorians-and-the-people-that-suck-them-off/181034/63 "2003-06-12T00:01:43Z")
Oooh, oooh, oooh, can I tell my Bitch Salutatorian story? Gather round, children… It was May of 1998. The world was a simpler place. Anyone who could start a website could become a millionaire. South Park was the filthiest show on television. Somewhere in a dark alley in a large city a man drank wood alcohol as he continued his slow spiral towards the grave. At SpazCat’s High School the seniors were preparing for graduation. A black cloud fell upon the festivities the weekend before the Big Event when one of the seniors was killed in a car accident. A large piece of paper from the workroom was posted in the hall as people wrote the things they never would have said to this boy’s face. Naturally, that meant the 1998 graduation would be a somber affair. (A boy who had been killed in a car accident the previous year was also remembered at the ceremony. My class had bad luck with cars.) A young woman, we shall call her the Entitlement Bitch, had finished her high school education with the winter semester. She was currently attending classes at the local UNC branch. Since she was an Entitlement Bitch, she and her Enabling Parents **insisted** that her GPA be frozen at the end of the winter semester so that she could be she salutatorian at graduation. Even though she had technically already graduated. There was much grumbling among the seniors, but lo the administration lacked backbone and it came to pass as Entitlement Bitch desired. This would have been bad enough. She was already persona non grata at all the finer barbecue establishments in town based on this behavior alone. But then she had to make a speech. I was seated between two friends of the boy who had been killed the previous weekend. Naturally, they were still mourning his death and sensitive to any mention of it. Entitlement Bitch takes the stage and begins to talk about the Lost Senior. The boy on my left leaned over to the boy on my right and muttered, “She wouldn’t even give him the time of day when he was alive and now she’s talking like she was his best friend!” And lo, I feared for my safety should Entitlement Bitch not shut up this line of speeching right fast as both boys were large and becoming angrier by the moment. This story has a happy ending, though. From what I heard, Entitlement Bitch didn’t have a clear grasp on the fact that in college one is expected to _work_ for one’s grades, not cheat for them. Yes. ---
**Author:** ![g8rguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@g8rguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/g8rguy)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valedictorians-and-the-people-that-suck-them-off/181034/64 "2003-06-12T00:10:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MGibson \* > \*\*I seriously doubt they’re in for any rude awakening. Most of them already have excellent study habits and a work ethic that will make them more likely to succeed in college. What’s with the implication that valedictorians don’t work for their grades in high school? \*\* Well… consider that at a premier college, many, if not most, of the students will have been valedictorians. Now realize that half of them will, by definition, be below average. I’d say that’s a rude awakening, to go from top of the class to below average, wouldn’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valedictorians-and-the-people-that-suck-them-off/181034/65 "2003-06-12T00:32:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fin\_man \* > \*\*No, it’s Magna Cum **Laude** , not Lordy. \*\* No, no, it’s Lordy How Come? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jesleigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@jesleigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesleigh)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valedictorians-and-the-people-that-suck-them-off/181034/66 "2003-06-12T03:12:09Z")
I was number 4 in my graduating class. I no for a fact our valedictorian cheated, (I walked in on her printing out a paper her sister wrote to turn in). But that’s not the point. They don’t always get everything. I got our English, Physics, and Science Award. Naturally though, she informed everyone I cheated off her papers in english, but I know who was doing the copying ;). As far as scholarships go, I admit, they do get the most, and that’s what matters really. ---
**Author:** ![jesleigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@jesleigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesleigh)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valedictorians-and-the-people-that-suck-them-off/181034/67 "2003-06-12T03:12:11Z")
I was number 4 in my graduating class. I know for a fact our valedictorian cheated, (I walked in on her printing out a paper her sister wrote to turn in). But that’s not the point. They don’t always get everything. I got our English, Physics, and Science Award. Naturally though, she informed everyone I cheated off her papers in english, but I know who was doing the copying ;). As far as scholarships go, I admit, they do get the most, and that’s what matters really. ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valedictorians-and-the-people-that-suck-them-off/181034/68 "2003-06-12T03:49:35Z")
As one of those people who peaked in high school, I’m just glad that I got the chance to be in the limelight for a short time. I did a little bit worse in college (although my college grades were still good enough), and completely crashed the second I got out in the real world. I wouldn’t begrudge them their moments in the spotlight. It might be their only ones. ---
**Author:** ![Early\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Early\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Early_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valedictorians-and-the-people-that-suck-them-off/181034/69 "2003-06-12T05:42:40Z")
Nice save, **jesleigh** , even if you weren’t fast enough! Welcome! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valedictorians-and-the-people-that-suck-them-off/181034.md?page=3)