# Valentine's verses **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 28, 2005, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-verses/287094 "2005-01-28T12:06:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-verses/287094/1 "2005-01-28T12:06:09Z")
I was emailed these supposed entries for a newspaper competition asking for a rhyme with a romantic first line… but an unromantic second line. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not I want to feel your sweet embrace But don’t take that paper bag off of your face I love your smile, your face, your eyes Damn, I’m good at telling lies! I see your face when I am dreaming. That’s why I always wake up screaming My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe “go to hell” What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime ! So surely Dopers being wittier Could write lines even shittier. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-verses/287094/2 "2005-01-28T16:59:50Z")
I love your smile, your soul, your wit, your eyes But don’t get me started on the size of those thighs ---
**Author:** ![Mint\_Julep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc79bd/32.png) [@Mint\_Julep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mint_Julep)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-verses/287094/3 "2005-01-28T17:24:44Z")
I said I would love you till the you die, And that day may come soon if you continue to lie. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-verses/287094/4 "2005-01-28T17:38:14Z")
O my sweet love is like a red, red rose– It stinks with a reek that wafts to my nose! ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-verses/287094/5 "2005-01-28T18:00:45Z")
Not to hijack your thread but I came in here thinking I could get help with a fresh and romantic verse to include with the flowers I’ll be sending. What say you all, should I start another thread? Yeah, probably, entitled (in ernest) Valentine’s verses. Sorry for the interuption, continue on merrily. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-verses/287094/6 "2005-01-28T18:05:36Z")
[hijack] Just call it “Serious Valentine verses” or something. No biggie. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-verses/287094/7 "2005-01-28T18:26:22Z")
Oh, be my love, my one and only On second thought, forget it - I’d rather be lonely. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-verses/287094/8 "2005-01-28T19:26:36Z")
You know that I love you with all of my heart Because you so seldom complain when I fart My love for you, dear, is immense and immeasurable But only right after we do something pleasurable Your skin is as soft as a dew-covered lily Now get on your knees and pay homage to Willie You are my world, my love, my life But I’d rather eat dog poop than make you my wife ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2005, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-verses/287094/9 "2005-01-28T22:37:51Z")
Roses are red, violets are blue, You’ll love the new ball gag that I’ve bought for you. The sound of your voice, soft as a whisper, reminds me you’re not near as good as your sister. Those brown bedroom eyes, that firm little butt, you used them so often you were voted “Class Slut”. When I think of you, I feel my heart yearning, but when I must pee, there’s unholy burning! Our love is the greatest that mankind has seen, (Just don’t talk about it until you’re fifteen). Our loving time together is something that I savor, what a shame you’re married to my next-door neighbor. You’re a wonderful woman, possessing great class, but no doubt about it, you’ve got a huge ass. I love everything about you, you’re my kind of guy, except for when you lose control and cum on my thigh. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2005, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-verses/287094/10 "2005-01-29T03:09:42Z")
(I didn’t write these, but they fit right in) Do you love me or do you not? You told me once, but I forgot. And this one exceeds the line limit, but I like it anyway: If you want to kiss your honey But your nose is very runny You may think it’s kinda funny But it’s snot