# Valentines Vitriol **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 11, 2004, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644 "2004-02-11T13:27:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mrklutz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@mrklutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrklutz)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/21 "2004-02-11T18:19:29Z")
My ex and I did make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day, but always with a bent toward setting aside some extra time for just us. The whole cutesy commercialism thing always disgusted me. (I am also a major Humbug about the whole Xmas-gift thing, btw.) So when we first started dating, I spelled out in no uncertain terms that she would never get flowers on Valentine’s Day because the flower shops triple their prices then. Instead, I would get her flowers from time to time, “just because.” Worked very well for both of us, throughout dating and our marriage. Other factors doomed our relationship, but Valentine’s was not among them. IMO, there’s nothing wrong with observing a special day like Valentine’s or Xmas, as long as the focus is the people who are important to you, not the stuff. Happily single once again, and looking forward to staying that way. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/22 "2004-02-11T18:43:42Z")
I’m in a relationship for the first ever on Valentines Day this year. We’ve agreed only buy each other a little gift. I agree that people tend to go over board on V Day, but if they want to it doesn’t bother me. Its not _my_ money they’re spending. 😃 The last few years I’ve enjoyed V Day. Last year I got roses and love poetry of a guy friend who was/is(?) in love with me. The year before that my girl friends and I sent cards to each other. It was really nice. ---
**Author:** ![CheekyMonkey613](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e480ec/32.png) [@CheekyMonkey613](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheekyMonkey613)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/23 "2004-02-11T19:00:50Z")
> [@Jennyrosity](#): > > **CheekyMonkey613** , you’re kidding me, right? Get out of my thread and stop gloating. There is no place for you in the Hall of Ultimate Bitterness. \*\*\*\* getting the f outta here, as suggested by Jen \*\*\*\* Jen, I sh\*t you not, I’m on your side. And I swear I’m not gloating. It’s more like agreeing with you about the BS of Valentines Day. I’m lucky THIS YEAR. You don’t want me to tell you about the others. I met my fiancé in May. This is our first Valentines together (though we’re on opposite ends of the world). If this was a singles exclusives club, I apologize profusely for the inadherance to the understood ‘secretive club’ rules. But I do understand. Believe me, I do. I don’t think that me being _with_ someone should automatically exclude me from the game. But if it does, then fine. I’ll be having (phone)sex with my guy on Valentines Day while he tells me how his life is incomplete without the most wonderful (sexy, intelligent, understanding, empathetic, beautiful, loving) woman in the world. To each his own I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/24 "2004-02-11T19:02:03Z")
**Shade** : Yeah, the week before valentines day is the perfect time to dump someone by letting them see you kissing someone else after you’ve spent two weeks cuddling them. Feck. **Occluded (Shade Friend)**: Forget her. Plan a fun saturday thinking about something else. **Shade** : Yeah! I’m planning on hiding in a small dark hole slashing myself with a sharp knife. Woo! But on reflection V-day isn’t really bad. Everyone takes it to stupid extremes, but for people who do love someone, it is a nice reminder to show it. So long as when we don’t we don’t feel we SHOULD. Young, single UK dopers untie! Er, unite! ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/25 "2004-02-11T19:11:43Z")
Beautiful OP, **Jennyrosity**. If I could, I would love to bottle your post, and serve it on Passover. I hope you feel better on Sunday. ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/26 "2004-02-11T19:20:24Z")
> [@Jennyrosity](#): > > Call me a bitter and twisted individual if you like, but I swear, this whole Valentines extravaganza is worse this year than it’s ever been. It is inescapable. Ok, that card shops are going to look as if they’ve been vomited on by the Giant Hearts and Flowers Monster of the Planet Smush at this time of year I can accept, but my local butchers??? It has strings of love hearts over the minicing machine and signs reading “Brains Faggots: Perfect for that intimate Valentines dinner”, and “Don’t say it with flowers - say with offal!”. I would say I love you, but I think I love your butcher more 😃 Pleeeeze tell me he was being snarky. ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/27 "2004-02-11T20:38:11Z")
Ok, **CheekyMonkey613** , I accept that was probably excessively harsh. In all seriousness, I wish you and your intended every joy. But do me a favour - read my OP again. Then read your reply. Then try to understand why reading your reply made me want to hunt you down, cover you in red lipstick kiss-marks - and then strangle you with a string of pink fluffy love hearts. Plus I’m drugged up to my eyeballs on pain meds at the moments, so probably shouldn’t be held responsible for anything I say or do at the moment. **Hunter Hawk** , I don’t know that he was being snarky, or even that he’s such a big fan of VD - I think he’s just really obsessed with offal. If I’ve told him once, I’ve told him a thousand times - I’m not eating anything’s liver. **Scuba Ben** , I’m Catholic, so don’t get the Passover reference. Is there something I’m missing. Please explain. ---
**Author:** ![DogMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@DogMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DogMom)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/28 "2004-02-11T20:45:52Z")
Dangit, I had a post all typed out and the hamsters ate it. Trying again. **Jennyrosity** , I’m with you. In college my friends and I figured since it’s become a Hallmark Holiday anyway, we’d just make our own holiday that coincidentally fell on Feb. 14. It was called Black Vomit Day and is celebrated by wearing black and watching slasher flicks. Feel free to celebrate with DogDad and I this year! (You don’t have to actually come over; we can just all celebrate it at once.) And this: > [@](#): > > card shops are going to look as if they’ve been vomited on by the Giant Hearts and Flowers Monster of the Planet Smush is the Very Most Perfectest description of the OTHER holiday that’s celebrated on Black Vomit Day I’ve ever seen. May I use it as a sig? -DogMom ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/29 "2004-02-11T21:14:07Z")
> [@Jennyrosity](#): > > **Scuba Ben** , I’m Catholic, so don’t get the Passover reference. Is there something I’m missing. Please explain. One of the ritual foods on Passover is a bitter herb, such as fresh horseradish root. If I could reduce your OP into a food, we could use it for Passover. ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/30 "2004-02-12T00:29:20Z")
**Dogmom** , go ahead, I would consider it an honour! **Scuba\_Ben** , does this make me a religious icon? Because I’d like that. ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/31 "2004-02-12T01:48:03Z")
> [@Jennyrosity](#): > > **Hunter Hawk** , I don’t know that he was being snarky, or even that he’s such a big fan of VD - I think he’s just really obsessed with offal. If I’ve told him once, I’ve told him a thousand times - I’m not eating anything’s liver. Hey, nothing says loving like a big bowl of chitlins. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/32 "2004-02-12T02:40:26Z")
> [@](#): > > Young, single UK dopers untie! Er, unite! Yeah, what the heck is going on over yonder on your side of the Pond? Why are you all bitterly single at the same time? ( **Angua** excepted, of course, because she apparently has a spare harem tucked in the closet for a rainy day or something.) You seemed like such a friendly and cheerful bunch; why isn’t it translating into romance? Is romance dead in the U.K.? Even my married friend I visited in Kent is complaining that her husband has lost all sense of romance, and is contemplating letting her buy contact lenses for Valentine’s Day to replace her 6-year-old glasses. Nice gestures don’t have to be extravagant; even a backrub (completely free) and some flowers picked from the garden would be a pleasant surprise. Well, anyone who happens to be in my neck of the woods on Saturday night is cordially invited to an alternative V-Day activity of some sort, because Lord knows the only man who is going to be touching me on Saturday at this point is my dentist. Some company would be nice; maybe I’ll even cook! ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/33 "2004-02-12T04:35:50Z")
Ro-mance? **Eva** , what is this ro-mance of which you speak? The word seems vaguely familiar, but I can’t really place it. See, I’m married to one of those guys who claims that Valentines Day shouldn’t be a big deal; every day should be a celebration of our love. So Valentine’s Day, like every other day of the year, I read and pick dog hair off my sweater while listening to the clack of his keyboard until his snoring puts the cap on another confetti-filled celebration of our love. This seems to be a pattern with this kind of guy; Valentine celebrations are eschewed in favor of year-round romance, but the year-round stuff never quite seems to materialize. Little expressions of love abound if you look for them, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. Still, I can’t help but think it must be awfully nice to be able to look forward to one romantic evening a year. ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/34 "2004-02-12T09:28:05Z")
**Eva Luna** , I think we’re just naturally more bitter and cynical on this side of the pond and stuff like Valentines just brings it out in us. You Merkins seem to be generally more positive and up-beat. After all, “the Pursuit of Happiness” is written into your constitution. If we Brits had a constitution, our equivalent would probably be “Mustn’t Grumble”. And then we would. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/35 "2004-02-12T10:50:14Z")
> [@Shade](#): > > Young, single UK dopers untie! Er, unite! Huh. I’m a middle-aged single UK doper. Left out again … \*:: sobs quietly into his tea :: \* ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/36 "2004-02-12T11:03:59Z")
> [@Eva Luna](#): > > ( **Angua** excepted, of course, because she apparently has a spare harem tucked in the closet for a rainy day or something.) Well, you never know when that harem of intelligent, sexy men is going to come in useful. Its just another thing every girl needs. 😉 I don’t think I’ve ever been bitterly single. Single yes, and at times bitter, but never bitterly single. I think its that harem. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/37 "2004-02-12T11:05:02Z")
> [@Jennyrosity](#): > > **Eva Luna** , I think we’re just naturally more bitter and cynical on this side of the pond and stuff like Valentines just brings it out in us. You Merkins seem to be generally more positive and up-beat. After all, “the Pursuit of Happiness” is written into your constitution. If we Brits had a constitution, our equivalent would probably be “Mustn’t Grumble”. And then we would. I’m not cynical. I’m _patriotic_ 😃 But yes, I think you’re right. Also, there’s fewer of is, so a few of us happening to be bitter can dominate the whole UK doper scene before the happy ones get a look in 🙂 Though I’m not bitter any more. I don’t care about HER. I’m going to be happy with friends, and perhaps a moderate amount of alcohol. Happy shiny bright an glowy positive optmistic clear good valentines day! Woo! > [@](#): > > Huh. I’m a middle-aged single UK doper. Left out again … {{Steve}} ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Doris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@Sir\_Doris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Doris)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/38 "2004-02-12T11:18:03Z")
> [@Steve Wright](#): > > Huh. I’m a middle-aged single UK doper. Left out again … > \*:: sobs quietly into his tea :: \* I know how you feel, mate. In real life pretty much everyone I know is older than me. Then I come on here and I’m grandma. This Saturday, I’m going to be single and proud of it. You there, with the bouquet of roses - how much did that cost? How much? Well I’m going to spend that much down the pub. On myself!\* Ha! - anyone else who turns up for a beer is included in the round, of course. I’m bitter not stingy. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/39 "2004-02-12T11:21:45Z")
> [@Sir Doris](#): > > - anyone else who turns up for a beer is included in the round, of course. I’m bitter not stingy. Damn! You still owe me money don’t you? Will have to try extracting beer out of you at some other point. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/40 "2004-02-12T11:29:23Z")
> [@Shade](#): > > Though I’m not bitter any more. I don’t care about HER. I’m going to be happy with friends, and perhaps a moderate amount of alcohol. Happy shiny bright an glowy positive optmistic clear good valentines day! Woo! Bet you a tenner you’re crying before they call last orders. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644.md?page=3)