# Valentines Vitriol **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 11, 2004, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644 "2004-02-11T13:27:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![paulberserker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@paulberserker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paulberserker)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/41 "2004-02-12T11:33:03Z")
and now I remember, last year one of the mook reps at my work spent £330 on roses, to be delivered to his girlfriend (who also works here) as a valentines surprise. _£330?!_ I hate him anyway, but theres about 50 million things I can think to do with £330, and that aint one of them. I’m spending sat night with two couples, but at least they arent going to be doing all that lovey dovey shit in my face. did you get my card **Jenny?** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/42 "2004-02-12T11:36:20Z")
> [@Jennyrosity](#): > > Bet you a tenner you’re crying before they call last orders. I’ll be weeping with joy because valentines is just that sweet! ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/43 "2004-02-12T14:51:57Z")
> [@Steve Wright](#): > > Huh. I’m a middle-aged single UK doper. Left out again … > \*:: sobs quietly into his tea :: \* Well, things are looking up since last you spoke on this issue, then. Before, you were weeping bitterly into your whisky. Does this mean you’re feeling a bit better? (I know, it’s that gosh-darned American optimism again. I’m sorry, I’ll stop it. But keep in mind that I’m of East European Jewish extraction, and believe me, there is no shortage of bitter cynicism among either Jews or East Europeans. If you want to get really depressed, just read any given Russian novel.) ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/44 "2004-02-12T15:15:09Z")
Hey, it’s not just the UK types who are single, not-young, and bitter. \ I am forced to conclude that the US is an anomaly. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/45 "2004-02-12T15:28:39Z")
::sobs quietly into his apple pie:: ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/46 "2004-02-12T15:28:52Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > Well, you never know when that harem of intelligent, sexy men is going to come in useful. Its just another thing every girl needs. 😉 Oh, I wholeheartedly agree, but I seem to be fresh out of harem volunteers at the moment. Care to share any sloppy seconds? ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/47 "2004-02-12T15:31:18Z")
> [@Eva Luna](#): > > Oh, I wholeheartedly agree, but I seem to be fresh out of harem volunteers at the moment. Care to share any sloppy seconds? Yeah, sure, but you’ll have to come over to Birmingham to get them - they don’t seem to travel too well. Now, who do you want? ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/48 "2004-02-12T15:42:50Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > Yeah, sure, but you’ll have to come over to Birmingham to get them - they don’t seem to travel too well. Now, who do you want? I dunno; what are my choices? And y’know, I do have a certain amount of professional expertise in the import and export of human beings. (I travel pretty well, but my boss might take exception to me disappearing again so soon. Not to mention my finances.) ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/49 "2004-02-12T15:47:20Z")
> [@Eva Luna](#): > > I dunno; what are my choices? And y’know, I do have a certain amount of professional expertise in the import and export of human beings. (I travel pretty well, but my boss might take exception to me disappearing again so soon. Not to mention my finances.) Hmmm… Lets see… There’s the astrophysics instrumentationalist (head of our instrumentation group in fact). Or the rather sweet Irish guy who tried to snog me one evening in a bar (he was told to go away - being only 18!). Or the Shakespeare loving astrophysicist I share an office with, or there’s the ex, who absolutely hates my guts now and would do anything to get away from me. Failing that, I can’t think of any others… ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/50 "2004-02-12T15:53:11Z")
Well, considering that I’m a few years older than you, yep, 18 is more than a tad too young. (I’ve got no objection to guys a few years younger, but nearly 50% younger is really stretching it.) Judging by what you’ve written about your ex, naaah, I don’t think so. However, the idea of a Shakespeare-loving astrophysicist is more than a little intriguing… None of these people are coming with you to the States, are they? I think we should do an all-out international mini-ChiDope, don’t you? I’ll cook and everything; I make a mean Uzbek _shashlyk!_ ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/51 "2004-02-12T15:59:37Z")
> [@Eva Luna](#): > > Well, considering that I’m a few years older than you, yep, 18 is more than a tad too young. Quite. Far too young even for me - maybe its because my students are that sort of age. > [@Eva Luna](#): > > Judging by what you’ve written about your ex, naaah, I don’t think so. Can’t say I blame you really. Hence why he’s an ex! > [@Eva Luna](#): > > However, the idea of a Shakespeare-loving astrophysicist is more than a little intriguing… Well, he’s in Chile at the moment, on an observing run. > [@Eva Luna](#): > > None of these people are coming with you to the States, are they? I think we should do an all-out international mini-ChiDope, don’t you? I’ll cook and everything; I make a mean Uzbek _shashlyk!_ 'Fraid not. It’ll just be lil old me. I like the idea of a shashlyk though. Maybe I can persuade my other single male friends to go over for a ChiDope, just for you. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/52 "2004-02-12T16:00:49Z")
> [@Eva Luna](#): > > Well, things are looking up since last you spoke on this issue, then. Before, you were weeping bitterly into your whisky. Does this mean you’re feeling a bit better? No, it just means I’ve run out of whisky … ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/53 "2004-02-12T16:05:17Z")
And you shouldn’t really be crying into whisky - you’ll dilute it. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/54 "2004-02-12T16:05:18Z")
And you shouldn’t really be crying into whisky - you’ll dilute it. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/55 "2004-02-12T17:10:43Z")
**Moderator’s Notes:** > [@](#): > > \*Note to mods: I realise that this wee rant would have been better suited to the Pit. But I’m off work with a bad back and therefore have borrowed my mum’s work laptop, a machine with a such a strict obsenity filter that is has a panic attack and accuses me of gross perversity if I even so much as try to open that forum. Sorry. Please know that this is no excuse for not following our rules about placing things in the correct forum. If you can’t access a certain forum for whatever reason, this does not give one license to simply ignore the forum descriptions - else there’s no point in having distinct forums, or rules. If you **must** post Pit-like rants, I suggest you find some way to temporarily disable the obscenity filter on your mother’s computer while you’re using it. That shouldn’t be too terribly difficult. However, this thread isn’t quite as bad as it could be - for the time being I’ll leave it here. I’m gonna keep checking it, and if it gets worse, off it goes, whether you can read it or not. I hope your back mends soon and you’re able to return to work. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/56 "2004-02-12T17:26:42Z")
> [@Eva Luna](#): > > Yeah, what the heck is going on over yonder on your side of the Pond? Why are you all bitterly single at the same time? Not all of us. Some of us are in love and in a relationship. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/57 "2004-02-12T17:33:42Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#): > > Not all of us. Some of us are in love and in a relationship. 🙂 Well, as long as the person you’re in love with is the same person as the one you’re in a relationship with, then that’s a good thing. So that makes two, then; you and **Angua.** And, well, **Angua’s** honey and \*\*Tir \*\* (but not with each other, at least as far as I know), but as I understand **Tir** won’t be in the U.K. too much longer anyway. Well, I’m glad the whole of the British Isles isn’t sobbing into its collective whisky and/or tea. I’d hate to see perfectly good beverages wasted. Maybe what you guys need is a nice swap meet, where you all bring your single friends and try to fix them up with each other. ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/58 "2004-02-12T17:57:43Z")
I love Valentine’s Day. 🙂 I get to put up my extra-special away message! It always cheers people up… > [@](#): > > 14 Feb 270 AD: The Roman priest Valentine was apprehended on the charge of secretly marrying Christian couples, tortured, and beheaded. > > 14 Feb 1929: At the height of prohibition, tensions between rival bootlegging gangs headed by George “Bugs” Moran and Al “Scarface” Capone ran high. On this day, seven of Moran’s men were lined up against a wall in the SMC Cartage Company in Chicago and shot in the back by Capone’s men dressed in police uniforms. Nobody was ever arrested in connection with the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. > > Happy Valentine’s Day. Enjoy your candy. However, to get in the spirit of things, I’ll try to be bitter too. ::scowl:: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/59 "2004-02-12T18:10:59Z")
Hmmmm…speaking of Al Capone, maybe I’ll organize a V-Day excursion to the Green Mill, a jazz club which started life as a Prohibition-era speakeasy owned by Al Capone. It’s a short walk from my apartment. ( **Angua,/** if you should happen to be in Chicago on a Sunday evening, they also host the Uptown Poetry Slam: it’s basically a three-ring circus/tournament of amateur performance poetry, judged by the audience. Fun for the whole family!) ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/60 "2004-02-12T18:29:59Z")
I absolutely loathe Valentine’s Day. I’m engaged, so a lot of my single friends tell me “Oh, but you have some one! How could you hate it? You’re all set!” Fuck that. I may be cheap, but here’s why I hate this stupid day: first, Christmas in late December. I blow all my money on gifts for friends and family. In mid-January is my fiance’s birthday. I usually go all out for him then because his family has never bothered with his birthday and I enjoy making a big deal out of it. Then six days after that is the anniversary of our engagement which we (thank God) did not, and hopefully won’t, celebrate because we both forgot. Then in mid-February comes Valentines Day, with all its cutsey hearts. I’m fucking broke by now. I don’t WANT to purchase more stuff, and I also don’t want to own anything that has goofey pink and red hearts all over it. And my fiance’s broke because he always goes all out for me on Christmas. Plus this year we’re paying for a wedding, and I quit my job in December and am just beginning to get a trickle of work from my new freelancing business. So we’ve decided not to buy each other anything for this evil, contrived Hallmark holiday. Instead, we’re going to make a big, elaborate meal together and stay in to eat it while we polish off a bottle of nice wine while we watch movies all night. Sounds like the perfect Saturday to me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644.md?page=4)