# Valentines Vitriol

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [February 11, 2004, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644 "2004-02-11T13:27:58Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\
**Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/valentines-vitriol/228644/61 "2004-02-13T00:29:13Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> See, I’m married to one of those guys who claims that Valentines Day shouldn’t be a big deal; every day should be a celebration of our love. So Valentine’s Day, like every other day of the year, I read and pick dog hair off my sweater while listening to the clack of his keyboard until his snoring puts the cap on another confetti-filled celebration of our love. This seems to be a pattern with this kind of guy; Valentine celebrations are eschewed in favor of year-round romance, but the year-round stuff never quite seems to materialize.
> 
> Little expressions of love abound if you look for them, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. Still, I can’t help but think it must be awfully nice to be able to look forward to one romantic evening a year.

Haven’t read the thread, but I wanted to defend myself.

The reason I hate things like Valentine’s Day is that I’m scared to death of disappointment. If we build one day up like it’s going to be the end-all be-all of romantic evenings, in my mind there’s a 10% chance that it will go exactly as planned and all will be wonderful, and a 90% chance that I won’t find the right gift, or I’ll get killed at work and not get home until late, or I’ll be completely exhausted and dying to just go to sleep, or I’ll be in a horrible mood and won’t want to see or talk to anyone. I just can’t stand having expectations like that overlying what should be a celebration.

I started feeling this way about Valentine’s Day when I was a teenager, when I heard one of my friends go down the list of things she expected from her boyfriend–two cards, a funny one and a sweet one, flowers, candy, and two gifts, preferably a stuffed animal and a sufficiently expensive piece of jewelry. I know my wife has expectations nothing like that–in fact, this post is the first time she has ever expressed any yearning to do anything more for Valentine’s Day–but I realized that this guy could go way out of his way and still do nothing but fall short.

I like making nice dinners for the two of us when I have the time and energy. I bring her flowers every now and then just because. She puts little Snickers bars in the pocket of my white coat sometimes for me to find at work. My favorite moment of every day is before I leave for work, when I come in and kiss her on the cheek while she’s still asleep, and she gets this little smile on her face. That, to me, is romance.

Dr. J

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