# Vampires Suck (open spoilers)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vampires-suck-open-spoilers/551123>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [August 23, 2010, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vampires-suck-open-spoilers/551123 "2010-08-23T01:58:36Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vampires-suck-open-spoilers/551123/1 "2010-08-23T01:58:36Z")

</div>

Nobody in their right mind expects much from Messrs. Friedberg and Seltzer, but this was actually funny. Simple, least-common-denominator humour to be sure, but funny. Of course it helps that before seeing this I saw **New Moon** on Blu-ray. **Vampires Suck** was far more entertaining of the two (not that that’s hard to pull off). I probally would’ve prefered if they just had post-haircut Jacob spend most of his screentime naked instead of just shirtless, but these films are always PG-13. Matt Lanter still looks hot covered in white paint. I also would’ve thrown in a scene were Edward and Jacob go from fighting over Bella to making out with eachother, Bella tries to intervene and get’s thrown through a window to her death. 😃  
PS. Why oh why couldn’t they have worked in a scene were Mrs Sullen runs somebody over with a lawn mower? :smack:

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vampires-suck-open-spoilers/551123/2 "2010-08-23T02:14:55Z")

</div>

They got to you, didn’t they? Are they holding your family hostage? Blink once for “yes”, twice for “no”.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vampires-suck-open-spoilers/551123/3 "2010-08-23T06:37:45Z")

</div>

I’m surprised! I’ve found the quality of the ‘parody movie’ genre to be somewhat lacking since the Wayan brothers stopped making them…