# Van lifer goes missing on cross country trip with fiancee **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 13, 2021, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604 "2021-09-13T13:48:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 69
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2022, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1393 "2022-01-18T07:50:06Z")
Possibly, RSO should have been TRO, for Temporary Restraining Order. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2022, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1394 "2022-01-19T01:35:33Z")
Yeah, I was wondering what the S stood for… but I wouldn’t have gotten TRO either. Now I feel like I have a sheltered life where restraining orders aren’t common… ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2022, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1395 "2022-01-19T01:39:54Z")
I encounter them pretty often- but there was a time when I wouldn’t have understood either because they are called “OOP” ( or TOP or FOP) in my state ( order of protection) ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2022, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1396 "2022-01-19T05:23:21Z")
RSO is one of the terms used here in Washington state. I try to avoid using TRO because some restraining orders are not temporary. > [@bordelond](#): > > Question: Is coercive control trivial to identify with not-particularly-intensive training? Scotland and the UK managed to train police adequately. I’m guessing the training wasn’t onerous. I read somewhere that it’s a single day of training. > [@bordelond](#): > > I have a general impression that some people are kind of expecting virtual _clairvoyance_ out of the Moab officers, Maybe if I learn more about what people are _actually_ expecting from the officers, I can come around and agree that it was reasonable to expect in hindsight that the Moab officers should have somehow “done more”. It’s quite the opposite for me: officers need more training because intuiting doesn’t work very well for any of us. Along with most people, I’ve done a fair amount of wistful _if only_ thinking about the Moab stop, but I don’t blame the cops at all. They did the best they could with what training they’d had. I keep hoping this case will serve as an object lesson. I have a friend who’s a social worker in Seattle. She strongly believes officers should be accompanied by social workers in domestic abuse cases. I don’t know how practical/expensive that would be. I think training like the SafeLives training LE officers get in the UK would be a huge step. > [@Max\_S](#): > > In addition to the difficulty of identifying coercive control, would that change who is supposed to be arrested? Identifying coercive control is not as difficult as you may be assuming it is. And yes, it could change who gets arrested. That’s a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2022, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1397 "2022-01-19T12:39:42Z")
> [@nelliebly](#): > > RSO is one of the terms used here in Washington state. I try to avoid using TRO because some restraining orders are not temporary. Not to nitpick, but from a bit of Googling, it appears that the most common use of “RSO” in Washington state in a law enforcement context is “Registered Sex Offender”. **[From here](https://waspc.memberclicks.net/rso-resource-center)**. What does the acronym stand for in reference to a restraining order? ---
**Author:** ![RayMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e495f1/32.png) [@RayMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RayMan)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2022, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1398 "2022-01-19T17:02:17Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > What does the acronym stand for in reference to a restraining order? “RSO” is an initialism, not an acronym. In my opinion, it makes no sense to use “ **RSO** ” for **R** estraining **O** rder, but I am not in a position to make anyone listen to me. It would be nice if people on this message board would explain what uncommon initialisms stand for, though. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2022, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1399 "2022-01-19T17:27:17Z")
I agree- the problem is that people who use uncommon initialisms, acronyms, abbreviations, etc, often don’t realize they are uncommon. I remember a coworker who started all of her emails with “ALCON” - finally someone asked her what it (and some other abbreviations) meant. Apparently, it was a standard military abbreviation for “all concerned” and she was surprised to be asked it - apparently she had never noticed that no one else at our non-military employer used it. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2022, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1400 "2022-01-19T18:08:58Z")
> [@RayMan](#): > > “RSO” is an initialism, not an acronym. > … That’s needlessly pedantic, and wrong on at least one count, maybe two. First, if you check **[Merriam Webster](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/acronym)**, or **[Dictionary.com](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/acronym)**, you’ll find that that the term “acronym” has a widely accepted second meaning as a synonym for “initialism”. Secondly, unless “RSO” is actually formed from the initial letters of three words (which I don’t think it is, or at least I can’t find such a term that fits) it’s not technically an initialism, but just an abbreviation. ---
**Author:** ![RayMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e495f1/32.png) [@RayMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RayMan)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2022, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1401 "2022-01-19T18:11:22Z")
You’re wrong again. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2022, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1402 "2022-01-19T18:14:17Z")
Whatever you say, pal. I provided links to two dictionaries – you know, those reference works that define what words mean? If you’d rather not click on them, that’s fine with me. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2022, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1403 "2022-01-20T21:24:31Z")
**Moderator Note** This is turning into a hijack. If you want to continue discussing initialism vs acronym, RSO, etc., take it to a new thread. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_S](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@Max\_S](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_S)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2022, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1404 "2022-01-20T23:10:28Z")
> [@nelliebly](#): > > Identifying coercive control is not as difficult as you may be assuming it is. Would you care to walk me through the process in this specific case? > [@nelliebly](#): > > And yes, it could change who gets arrested. How? The law says arrest the predominant physical aggressor (if there is one, otherwise arrest both). What difference does the presence of coercive control make in determining who is the predominant physical aggressor? I’m not connecting the dots here. ~Max ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1405 "2022-01-21T01:02:24Z")
> [@Max\_S](#): > > How? The law says arrest the predominant physical aggressor (if there is one, otherwise arrest both). What difference does the presence of coercive control make in determining who is the predominant physical aggressor? I’m not connecting the dots here. Right. It’s not illegal for a guy to be a controlling prick who yells at his wife to cook him dinner and calls her a fat pig every time she eats. But the second she snaps and slaps him after being called a hog for the thousandth time, she has committed a battery and MUST be arrested under these laws. I’m not sure what a police officer or anyone should do in a situation where you see that one person is the real asshole, but the second person committed a crime. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1406 "2022-01-21T03:11:06Z")
First, let me say again that I’m sorry if my use of the term RSO confused or annoyed people. I’ve already explained my use of the term and why TRO is, technically at least, not always accurate. Henceforth I shall spell out “restraining order” or “order of protectioin” every time. Second, I’m not claiming to be an expert on coercive control recognition training, and I’m certainly no expert on UK law enforcement. Before anyone decides to throw up roadblocks claiming it can’t work, it’s impossible for law enforcement to determine this, etc., I ask you–beg you, really–to [read this short article](https://www.policeprofessional.com/about-us/) from Police Professional, a monthly journal for UK law enforcement officers. It explains this far better than I can. It’ll take only a few minutes, I promise. ---
**Author:** ![ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chockfullofheadygoodness/32/511_2.png) [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1407 "2022-01-21T06:39:21Z")
I think you need to correct your link. All I see is the “About Us” page for the journal. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1408 "2022-01-21T08:17:10Z")
> [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > This is turning into a hijack. If you want to continue discussing initialism vs acronym, RSO, etc., take it to a new thread. The Mod issues a TRO about RSO! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![echoreply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/echoreply/32/3641_2.png) [@echoreply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/echoreply)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1409 "2022-01-21T22:14:14Z")
FBI releases the final report on the case. The two “final chapter” pieces > - Upon further search of the area, investigators found human remains later confirmed to be Mr. Laundrie, along with a backpack, notebook, and a revolver. A review of the notebook revealed written statements by Mr. Laundrie claiming responsibility for Ms. Petito’s death. > - On November 23, 2021, the District 12 Medical Examiner’s Office in Sarasota, Florida, released its report on the manner and cause of death of Mr. Laundrie. The report concluded Mr. Laundrie died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. > **[FBI Denver Provides Final Investigative Update on Gabrielle Petito Case |...](https://www.fbi.gov/contact-us/field-offices/denver/news/press-releases/fbi-denver-provides-final-investigative-update-on-gabrielle-petito-case)** > > FBI Denver has provided a final investigative update and timeline in the Gabrielle Petito case. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1410 "2022-01-21T22:41:23Z")
> [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](#): > > I think you need to correct your link. All I see is the “About Us” page for the journal. Doh! Sorry about that. Here’s [the link to the article,](https://www.policeprofessional.com/news/officers-to-be-trained-to-identify-subtle-signs-of-domestic-abuse/) which, as I said, isn’t too long and is well worth a read. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1411 "2022-01-21T23:33:46Z")
Laundrie’s notebook contains a confession that he murdered Petito, according to the FBI. ([Source](https://www.cnn.com/2022/01/21/us/gabby-petito-notebook-brian-laundrie/index.html).) ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2022, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1412 "2022-01-22T02:22:43Z")
AP story here: > **[FBI: Laundrie admitted killing Gabby Petito in notebook](https://apnews.com/article/travel-lifestyle-denver-florida-parks-55c886582f268e19b6319d491daa6b2c)** > > FORT COLLINS, Colo. (AP) — The boyfriend of slain cross-country traveler Gabby Petito admitted killing her in a notebook discovered near his body in a Florida swamp, the FBI announced Friday. It was the first time authorities squarely pinned the... [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604.md?page=68) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604.md?page=70)