# Van lifer goes missing on cross country trip with fiancee **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 13, 2021, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604 "2021-09-13T13:48:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 72
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2023, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1453 "2023-05-25T20:24:21Z")
News update: > [@](#): > > The mother of Brian Laundrie, the man who killed his fiancée, Gabby Petito, and later himself in 2021, wrote to her son saying she would help him “dispose of a body” or “bake a cake with a file in it” to help him in jail, according to a copy of the undated letter obtained by CNN. > > … > > Roberta Laundrie has said the letter was written before her son’s trip with Petito, and one of her attorneys released a statement saying it was “in no way related to Gabby,” although Petito’s family has challenged those assertions. > > … > > The envelope containing the letter said “burn after reading” and was recovered from Brian Laundrie’s backpack when his remains were found in October 2021. [https://edition.cnn.com/2023/05/25/us/brian-laundrie-mother-letter-gabby-petito/index.html](https://edition.cnn.com/2023/05/25/us/brian-laundrie-mother-letter-gabby-petito/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2023, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1454 "2023-05-25T20:29:03Z")
> [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](#): > > Roberta Laundrie has said the letter was written before her son’s trip with Petito I know when I write letters to family members I always advise them to destroy the evidence and talk about how I’ll help them commit violent crimes. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2023, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1455 "2023-05-25T21:04:27Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > > [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](#): > > > > Roberta Laundrie has said the letter was written before her son’s trip with Petito > > I know when I write letters to family members I always advise them to destroy the evidence and talk about how I’ll help them commit violent crimes. > [@RickJay](#): > > > [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](#): > > > > Roberta Laundrie has said the letter was written before her son’s trip with Petito > > I know when I write letters to family members I always advise them to destroy the evidence and talk about how I’ll help them commit violent crimes. I dunno, it sort of sounds like mum was trying to crack a funny…haven’t you seen those memes that say stuff like, ‘…a friend will help you cover up a crime, a GOOD friend will help you bury the body…’ , or the time-honoured, send a file in a cake to your bud in gaol? And of course, burning the letter is a must!! I wouldn’t necessarily ascribe something nefarious to the letter. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2023, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1456 "2023-05-25T21:10:13Z")
Even if it wasn’t nefarious, it doesn’t strike me as joking. It was prefaced by how much she loved him and would do anything for him, which included hiding evidence of serious crimes. If anything, it’s creepier if it was written before anything happened. ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2023, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1457 "2023-05-25T21:11:49Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > I wouldn’t necessarily ascribe something nefarious to the letter. Can’t tell if joking or serious… But the letter about helping her son dispose of a body written before he killed his girlfriend and she apparently helped shield him from the authorities until he could off himself? Yeah, I’m ascribing some nefariousness to that letter. ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2023, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1458 "2023-05-25T21:12:28Z")
That letter is pretty cringe-worthy. I mean yeah, parents love their kids, but this is the type of thing that makes everyone in the room uncomfortable when read out loud. My question is if she had given it to him prior to the fateful road trip, why he’d still be carrying it around months later? ---
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2023, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1459 "2023-05-25T21:18:06Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > Even if it wasn’t nefarious, it doesn’t strike me as joking. Possibly because the media has highlighted only a few cherry-picked passages with one party intending to push a particular narrative? I could also imagine them being part of an expression of love. For example, “I love you so much, I’d…” In fact, that seems to be exactly what the body of the letter is about. For example, a less salacious passage reads, “If you fly to the moon, I will be watching the skies for your re-entry.” Was she literally expecting her son to fly to the moon do you think? The words are cringe, sure, but then that’s hardly suspicious or nefarious. What is _really_ suspicious, IMHO, is this: who the hell writes handwritten letters anymore? Suggests something deeply unsavory about her character if you ask me… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2023, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1460 "2023-05-25T21:42:44Z")
I don’t really want to read the letter, but does it say when it was written, or sent to him? (not what the mother says). If it was near the end of their road trip, it could be problematic for the mother. I mean, perhaps he called her to complain about Gabby - “Mom. I swear, she is driving me crazy! If she makes me use a napkin to wipe my mouth one more time…I’m gonna kill her!” And then she sends him that letter? Context is everything. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2023, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1461 "2023-05-25T21:44:42Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > I dunno, it sort of sounds like mum was trying to crack a funny…haven’t you seen those memes that say stuff like, ‘…a friend will help you cover up a crime, a GOOD friend will help you bury the body…’ , or the time-honoured, send a file in a cake to your bud in gaol? And of course, burning the letter is a must!! I could see saying something like that to a friend, but to your adult child? I don’t know about you, but that’s not the relationship I have with my mother, ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2023, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1462 "2023-05-25T21:52:14Z")
> [@ASL\_v2.0](#): > > Possibly because the media has highlighted only a few cherry-picked passages with one party intending to push a particular narrative? The article purports to have the text of the entire letter, so no cherry picking involved. Note, there is a photo of the letter, and it does appear to match up with the text in the article. It’s incredibly creepy (note I used ‘creepy’ in my other post as well - not nefarious or suspicious). Not the kind of exchange I would ever imagine having with a parent or a child in any circumstance and not joke-y at all. > [@snowthx](#): > > I don’t really want to read the letter, but does it say when it was written, or sent to him? It’s an undated letter. There’s no conclusive information on when it was written. So it could have been after the fact or a considerable time before. The Laundrie family claims it was written before anything happened and is unrelated and the Petito family disputes that claim. So, “he said, she said” writ large. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2023, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1463 "2023-05-25T21:55:58Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > > [@kambuckta](#): > > > > I dunno, it sort of sounds like mum was trying to crack a funny…haven’t you seen those memes that say stuff like, ‘…a friend will help you cover up a crime, a GOOD friend will help you bury the body…’ , or the time-honoured, send a file in a cake to your bud in gaol? And of course, burning the letter is a must!! > > I could see saying something like that to a friend, but to your adult child? I don’t know about you, but that’s not the relationship I have with my mother, That’s why I said mum was ‘trying’ to make a joke with her son. It’s not something my mother and I would have shared, but I can imagine a scenario where the boundaries between parent/child are a bit blurred. This became evident when Brian’s parents tried to throw the cops off his trail, but without that, the letter itself, in my humble opinion, is a nothing-burger. ---
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2023, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1464 "2023-05-25T22:46:07Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > The article purports to have the text of the entire letter, so no cherry picking involved. Note, there is a photo of the letter, and it does appear to match up with the text in the article. Yeah, it’s too bad I didn’t say the article _highlighted_ cherry-picked portions of the letter and that I didn’t then proceeded to quote another portion of the letter by way of providing an example of another passage that helps to contextualice things. > [@ASL\_v2.0](#): > > Possibly because the media has highlighted only a few cherry-picked passages with one party intending to push a particular narrative? > > I could also imagine them being part of an expression of love. For example, “I love you so much, I’d…” In fact, that seems to be exactly what the body of the letter is about. > > For example, a less salacious passage reads, “If you fly to the moon, I will be watching the skies for your re-entry.” ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2023, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604/1465 "2023-05-26T02:12:00Z")
My read would be that it’s an unfortunate choice of words. She wasn’t trying to joke but she was trying to emphasize, to an extreme level, her level of love towards him. I can’t imagine writing the letter outside of some extreme situation. She must have known that something was really wrong in him or in his life. At worst, I’d read it as she was voicing her fears in attempt to pluck his spirits up enough that he would not do anything in that territory. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/van-lifer-goes-missing-on-cross-country-trip-with-fiancee/950604.md?page=71)