# Vandals in the Kitchen **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 31, 2005, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578 "2005-01-31T12:22:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/121 "2005-02-01T23:35:49Z")
C’mon down! [sub](she invited, knowing full well you’re on the othe side of the country…)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![BelZarak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea666f/32.png) [@BelZarak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BelZarak)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/122 "2005-02-01T23:47:45Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Hey - you mean the 23rd? That’s my birthday! Does that make me your wife? No, that can’t be. My sweetie is **FairyChatDad** , even tho he only posted a couple of times eons ago. And I know he wouldn’t have a sock, at least not the kind that one wouldn’t wear on one’s feet. So you can’t be him. So never mind. But Happy Belated B-day to your Mrs.!! Yes indeed her birthday is the 23rd. I actually commented to her that she shared her birthday with one of my favorite SDMB members. This made her happy, since she also enjoys many of the posts that show up in the MMP threads. She doesn’t read this board often, but she does lurk off and on just so she’ll have an idea what I’m talking about when I start refering to some random post on the SDMB. > [@Wintermute](#): > > BelZarak, you are evil. Welcome to the MMP, you should fit right in. Thank you for that compliment. I try my best to add a bit of evilness to each day. I don’t post all that much, but I feel that the regulars of the MMP are the ones most likely to understand and appreciate what I do post. You all seem like my kind of folks. 😃 -Belz ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/123 "2005-02-02T00:58:13Z")
> [@Kallessa](#): > > I didn’t have cake from Konditorei the other day so I’m having it today. Konditorei is a local cake shop and cafe–they serve a lot of salads and quiche so people have room for the cake. I get Frank’s Blackout, or Gerry’s Chocolate. Both are multilayer chocolate cake, with simply oodles of chocolate frosting, but, as implied by the name, Frank’s Blackout is darker chocolate, and so, in my mind, is just a tad better. They are also quite well-known for their champagne cakes, but I’ve never cared for champagne cakes, so I don’t know how they measure up. > > **Shibb** , will you be flying us all out to the East Coast before or after you cook for me? You have a a Konditorei? I love Konditoreis! (Oder vielleicht die Konditorein? Keine Ahnung!) Kaffee und Kuchen is such a great concept, although I’m not sure it’s another one that we need in the USA. In other news, it turns out my father was on the front page of the Tampa Tribune this Sunday, and I didn’t even find out until today. Thankfully we hadn’t recycled yet, so I was able to see it. Sadly I can’t find a place to link to at the Trib site. I need to go catch Arsenal/ManUtd on the telly, so I might check back in at the half. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/124 "2005-02-02T03:13:26Z")
At least I don’t have any dodgey condiments in my fridge right now, one good thing about hurricanes and losing power for 36 hours - it makes you thoroughly clean out your fridge. There might be some fruits or veggies morphing into something sludgey in the bottom bin but I’m afraid to look. I get a kick out of y’all using the term “fart blossoms”. That was one of my dad’s favorite cuss words for a long time. That was from way back when we were little and he actually tried not to use the really bad words. He also enjoyed calling people “dingleberries” and occasionally a “dinklefart”. A long, long time ago I made my dad a bouquet of fart blossoms out of sculpey. I fashioned little butt-shaped “flowers” and painted them flesh tones with little bubbles coming out of the crack. He kept those things next to his reading chair for many, many years. My mother gave them back to me after my dad passed away. So “fart blossoms” actually make me quite emotional. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/125 "2005-02-02T05:02:45Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > At least I don’t have any dodgey condiments in my fridge right now, one good thing about hurricanes and losing power for 36 hours - it makes you thoroughly clean out your fridge. > > There might be some fruits or veggies morphing into something sludgey in the bottom bin but I’m afraid to look. > I get a kick out of y’all using the term “fart blossoms”. That was one of my dad’s favorite cuss words for a long time. That was from way back when we were little and he actually tried not to use the really bad words. He also enjoyed calling people “dingleberries” and occasionally a “dinklefart”. A long, long time ago I made my dad a bouquet of fart blossoms out of sculpey. I fashioned little butt-shaped “flowers” and painted them flesh tones with little bubbles coming out of the crack. He kept those things next to his reading chair for many, many years. My mother gave them back to me after my dad passed away. So “fart blossoms” actually make me quite emotional. And they say men aren’t sentimental. I think I’ve fallen in love– **Wile E** , will you marry me? You had me at "butt-shaped flowers. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/126 "2005-02-02T05:07:56Z")
Okay, I did not quote the entire post directly above mine. I quoted the last paragraph only. Enough to give you a renewed flavor for **Wile E’s** words, and so enhance the sentiment behind mine. Apparently, every word **Wile E.** posts is too valuable to be snipped. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/127 "2005-02-02T05:09:43Z")
> [@Kallessa](#): > > And they say men aren’t sentimental. They may not be, I am not proof of otherwise since I am not a man. I realize that the user name can cause some gender confusion. > [@Kallessa](#): > > I think I’ve fallen in love– **Wile E** , will you marry me? You had me at "butt-shaped flowers. So, does this mean you are going to retract the proposal? ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/128 "2005-02-02T07:37:10Z")
> [@welby](#): > > Two bits of advice: > > Be very, very careful of any future “refreshments” she might serve. > > Don’t drink the soda. Hmmm…are you implying that the soft drinks might be the culprits in the refrigerational (refrigeratory?) debacle that clearly preceded this scene? Interesting theory. And, by the way, how’re the eyeballs doin’? GT ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/129 "2005-02-02T07:58:55Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > They may not be, I am not proof of otherwise since I am not a man. > I realize that the user name can cause some gender confusion. > > So, does this mean you are going to retract the proposal? Darlin’, if **swampy** would marry me except for him liking boys, I’d marry you, 'cept I like boys, too.\* So, to paraphrase his great words: For being able to make butt-shaped flowers, complete with tiny bubbles in the cracks, if I wasn’t straighter than '50’s TV Mom, I’d married you, **Wile E.** , sure I would. \*Still accepting blind dates, chance encounters and those in need of a green card. Send inquiries to [datemenowdamnit.@soonerratherthanlater.com](mailto:datemenowdamnit.@soonerratherthanlater.com) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/130 "2005-02-02T08:01:25Z")
So, that time I previewed, and my signiture, which I wanted to show the orginal quote, showed up on preview and not on the real post. Why, oh why is this board so intent on messing with my head! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/131 "2005-02-02T12:24:52Z")
**Ashes [sup]2[/sup]** was it [The Bear Handbook](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1560239964/fuzzygrusshop-20/102-3234552-9292942) you saw? I have a copy. Now _there’s_ a big surprise! HEE! I see on the side of the link where it says “Add to Wedding Registry.” Every soon to be wed couple needs a copy! Belated congrats to _Mr. Lissar_ on the promotion thingy. Also, good vibes headin’ to the greater Tampa area for **Shibb** on the new job possibility. I had sausage, eggs and grits this morning. In honor of Ground Hog day, of course. -swampbear (the contents of my refrigerator are behaving quite well this week) ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/132 "2005-02-02T12:43:24Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Maybe we’ll even create a fund to fly **Rue** down for the weekend (it’s pretty cheap if you plan in advance). This is one of your _best_ ideas _ever_ **Shibb**. Oh wait… who you calling “cheap”. Oh wait again… me. Never mind. Hey **Kalley** , did you see [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=300093)? They need you bay-bee! So today is Groundhog Day. If he sees his shadow, it’s six more weeks of winter. If he doesn’t spring shows up in about a month and a half. Or the other way around. ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/133 "2005-02-02T14:10:06Z")
> [@Rue DeDay](#): > > So today is Groundhog Day. If he sees his shadow, it’s six more weeks of winter. If he doesn’t spring shows up in about a month and a half. Or the other way around. No shadow down here this morning so (WHOO HOO!!!) spring in a month and a half! Being a Flawduh weiner, I will be happy to see the chill weather disappear! Bring on the heat! I wanna go to the beach! Same breakfast today as the other day. No sausage! Sausage has way too many fat grams! I’d be flossin’ till, well, till my dentures come in. Yup, just a couple of varieties of low fat, healthy cereal and my trusty V-8. Never want to be caught short and haveta say " :smack: I coulda had a V-8!" Sides, it amuses me to think my coworkers speculate I’m drinkin’ Bloody Marys. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TheFaerie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TheFaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFaerie)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/134 "2005-02-02T14:13:13Z")
> [@Lissla Lissar](#): > > Oooh, fun! I’ve done SCA garb, although not for years- not since high school- and general sewing and corsetry and applique beadwork (European and Plains and Woodland patterns)and spinning (drop spindle) and weaving and wirework and chainmail and bead-and-eye-pin jewellery. With occasional forays into other crafts, but those are the main ones. I can’t knit, but I’m going to learn soon. That looks like a cool beading pattern. I’ll have to find my beading needles. They’re the worst kind to drop and step on, aren’t they? > > I read a book on shuttle tatting once. It scared me. You’re very brave. Needlework is so addicting. You just can’t have one passion… they all become passions! I have always wanted to learn to spin but haven’t for a couple reasons, 1) because I am allergic to the lanolin in wool. I know there are other fibers, but wool is the least expensive and picking up another expensive hobby is the last thing I need to do. (And what’s up with those spinners who seem to think that if you don’t raise your own four legged wool crop, shear it, wash/card/dye and spin it yourself you are somehow cheating?) B) because I really don’t need another hobby right now. I think I mentioned that I have a nice, small loom that is also good for fiber weaving. I think I’ll try that one day. I’ll chat more later. The boss wants me to work. The nerve. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/135 "2005-02-02T14:48:36Z")
> [@Kallessa](#): > > Darlin’, if **swampy** would marry me except for him liking boys, I’d marry you, 'cept I like boys, too.\* So, to paraphrase his great words: For being able to make butt-shaped flowers, complete with tiny bubbles in the cracks, if I wasn’t straighter than '50’s TV Mom, I’d married you, **Wile E.** , sure I would. Well, that’s a relief actually because I like boys, too. Unless you happen to look like Catherine Zeta-Jones, then I might have been tempted to give it a try. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/136 "2005-02-02T14:58:34Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > Well, that’s a relief actually because I like boys, too. > Unless you happen to look like Catherine Zeta-Jones, then I might have been tempted to give it a try. Oddly enough I’m a man _and_ I resemble Catherine Zeta-Jones. Resemble in that we both have two arms, two legs, a body and a head. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/137 "2005-02-02T15:40:58Z")
Good morning all and sundry… Well, I didn’t make my ginormous chicken breasts last night because we had to go out and buy a new telephone. The old one has been slowly dying for quite some time and changing out batteries doesn’t help either. Finally, it just gave up the ghost. Phone would ring, you would answer, phone would die. Sigh… So for the past two or three days we’ve been charging upstairs to answer the cheesy corded phone in my bedroom. We’ve been getting our exercise, that’s for sure. We went to Best Buy and bought some phone that came with two handsets so one can be in the den and the other will reside in the kitchen. I looked longingly at the Dyson Animal vaccuum cleaner while I was there, along with the Maytag Neptune washing machine. The hubby suggested I purchase the vacuum, but I wanted to check our bank account first, plus gotta send out the house payment too. So, if we’re lookin’ healthy, perhaps I will purchase it on Saturday. My current vaccuum cleaner is sucking at sucking and I want to feel like my carpets are clean dammit! I did not eat any Ground Hog today…I’m drinkin’ my quad shot Americano while enduring the strangest craving for oatmeal with raisins, butter and brown sugar. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/138 "2005-02-02T15:47:20Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Oddly enough I’m a man _and_ I resemble Catherine Zeta-Jones. > > Resemble in that we both have two arms, two legs, a body and a head. Dang, I got a little excited there for a second. The best of both worlds and in my own backyard! _le sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/139 "2005-02-02T15:50:22Z")
How does Groundhog Day work in Oz? Six more weeks of summer? Or don’t you have groundhogs Down Under? In that case, is today Wombat Day? ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2005, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578/140 "2005-02-02T15:54:46Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Oddly enough I’m a man _and_ I resemble Catherine Zeta-Jones. > > Resemble in that we both have two arms, two legs, a body and a head. Are your boobs as big as hers? 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vandals-in-the-kitchen/287578.md?page=8)