# Vegetarian dinner guests. Aaaaaaaaaaaah. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 3, 2007, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584 "2007-04-03T17:03:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/1 "2007-04-03T17:03:27Z")
Okay, I have a ‘friend’ whose unbelievable self-centredness has been slowly driving me barmy for many months now, and this minor incident has just about tipped me over the edge. It was my birthday. My birthday was on a really shitty day when everyone was skint and no one likes to go out clubbing or anything too energetic, so I decided to throw a dinner party for 12 close friends. I love throwing dinner parties and normally go to great efforts over the food but, fuck it, it was my birthday and I wasn’t going to spend it all slaving over the kicthen stove. So, I settled on a very simple italian menu of cold antipasti (cheeses, meats, crostini, olives etc) followed by a pasta course. Now because ONE of the guests (said ‘friend’) is a veggie, I made TWO main courses - a meat lasagne and a lemon spaghetti, as well as making sure that at least 90% of the antipasti was veggie. I THOUGHT that was quite good planning considering there was only ONE vegetarian out of 12 people there, but obviously not. Said ‘friend’ made a great who-ha about it. Comments like ‘oh, so there’s only main course choice for vegetarians is there?’ and ‘how come the meat eaters get to eat everything?’. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah… Okay. Number one. This is not a fucking restaurant. You go to dinner at someone’s house, you eat what you’re given and compliment the chef in the process, even if it all makes you gag. Number Two. YOU chose to be a vegetarian. By making that choice, in a meat eating world, you have to understand that your choices will be more limited. Don’t like it? Eat at home. Number Three. I spent most of the day slaving over this meal, as well as spending hundreds on food and wine which you’re shoving down your gob for free, even though you only brought one crappie bottle of wine that your gran gave you for Christmas, so start by trying to recognise some generosity for a change and stop thinking everyone’s out to do you over. Number Four. It’s my fucking birthday, bitch, so why don’t you just go ahead and embarrass me in front of all my friends and make me feel crap. So, am I being unreasonable for thinking she’s a fucking self-obssessed, rude, ignorant bitch? ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/2 "2007-04-03T17:05:04Z")
Okay, I meant this for the pit. Can a kindly mod move it for me? My head’s all whirly with anger. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/3 "2007-04-03T17:05:23Z")
[QUOTE=SanVito] So, am I being unreasonable for thinking she’s a fucking self-obssessed, rude, ignorant bitch? [/QUOTE] Nope. She’s already moved from the friends list to the “friends” list – now it’s time to dump her from the “friends” list to the ex-friends list. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/4 "2007-04-03T17:05:50Z")
No, you’re not wrong. You provided a vegetarian option. She should have eaten it and shut the hell up. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/5 "2007-04-03T17:13:14Z")
Off to the decidely unvegetarian atmosphere of the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/6 "2007-04-03T17:14:30Z")
Good rant. Bad title. This is not about “Vegetarian dinner guests,” it’s about your one asshole friend. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/7 "2007-04-03T17:16:46Z")
Another issue is that vegetarians like **SanVito’s** “friend” makes a lot of people forget about the vast majority of easy-going, accomodating vegetarians. The pushy, whiny ones become the “default” vegetarians in too many people’s minds. ---
**Author:** ![Barrington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Barrington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrington)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/8 "2007-04-03T17:17:59Z")
You’re right to be angry, and for all the reasons you state. In fact, I’m feeling angry on your behalf, knowing from experience how difficult it is to prepare meals for a variety of diets. My wife on a strict low-carb diet, a vegetarian son, an extremely picky daughter[1] - I was the only one in the household who’d eat anything on the table. It sounds like you did the best that could be expected to accommodate her needs, so she had no right to complain. And on your birthday too! Go punch her in the face. (And if I’d been one of your friends, I’d have got myself over to your place and cooked the meal for you.) [1] Easier to list the things she _will_ eat than those she won’t ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/9 "2007-04-03T17:19:05Z")
[QUOTE=SanVito] , so I decided to throw a dinner party for 12 close friends. [/QUOTE] wrong. You threw a party for 11 close friends and one ‘friend’. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/10 "2007-04-03T17:21:28Z")
> [@](#): > > Comments like ‘oh, so there’s only main course choice for vegetarians is there?’ and ‘how come the meat eaters get to eat everything?’. Answer: “Because we’re discussing social interpersonal relations, and I wanted to show everyone what narcissistic personality disorder looks like. Thanks!” ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/11 "2007-04-03T17:21:47Z")
Your friend was wrong. Oh well…next time they don’t get an invite. ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/12 "2007-04-03T17:33:31Z")
You are kidding, right? You went out of your way to make a second entree just for her and she complained that she didn’t have a _choice_ of entrees? I say you invite her to your next dinner party. Serve steak. And bacon & cheddar stuffed potatoes. With a chef salad. What a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/13 "2007-04-03T17:34:13Z")
[QUOTE=Barrington] You’re right to be angry, and for all the reasons you state. \Go punch her in the face. \ [/QUOTE] I second this. What an ungrateful harridan your (I hope) ex-friend is. I have a strange dietary requirement - I don’t drink anything when I go out except club soda and water. You know what I expect from most people’s houses and dinner parties? Water! I don’t expect the world to know my weirdnesses and cater to them (but I am surprised and grateful at how many of my family members do buy club soda just for me). ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/14 "2007-04-03T17:43:31Z")
[QUOTE=SanVito] ‘oh, so there’s only [one] main course choice for vegetarians is there?’ [/QUOTE] Next time, flip a coin to pick your response: Heads: “No no, there’s two – lemon spaghetti, or getting your smarmy ass the fuck out of my house.” Tails: “Yes, sorry…unless you consider ‘Knuckle Sandwich’ a vegitarian option.” ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/15 "2007-04-03T17:44:05Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] Nope. She’s already moved from the friends list to the “friends” list [/QUOTE] Rather than “friends” why not use “acquaintance”. I like that term and am using it more often. It gives “friend” more of its true meaning if it is reserved for those who deserve the title. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/16 "2007-04-03T17:51:56Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > Number Two. YOU chose to be a vegetarian. By making that choice, in a meat eating world, you have to understand that your choices will be more limited. Don’t like it? Eat at home. A friend of mine can’t eat gluten or lactose–at least without intestinal distress afterwards. So his dietary restrictions are less of a choice than you suggest your “friend’s” are. Still, when we’ve entertained him, we’ve done a lot like you describe. Made sure that there was plenty of food he could eat, and not worried too much about having a few options that he couldn’t. (And making sure to point out to him, if not everyone, that those crackers are made of rice and nuts, etc.) And he’s been pathetically grateful for little thoughtfulnesses, like a small plate of Mexican seven layer bean dip, which was minus a few layers–no cheese, no sour cream. So, yeah, I agree with everyone else. Sounds like you did a good job as a host, and you had one whiney, complainy guest. There are people who can’t be bothered to figure out how to cook for vegetarians , but you aren’t one of them, and your “friend” is making just not inviting to share meals look much more appealing that special menus. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/17 "2007-04-03T17:54:36Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] Rather than “friends” why not use “acquaintance”. I like that term and am using it more often. It gives “friend” more of its true meaning if it is reserved for those who deserve the title. [/QUOTE] I like “contemporary” myself. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/18 "2007-04-03T17:59:42Z")
[QUOTE=Una Persson] I like “contemporary” myself. [/QUOTE] Hmmm. Mind if I use that? I would use it under acquaintance. That is; friend—\>acquaintance—\>contemporary. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/19 "2007-04-03T18:04:38Z")
Wow, that’s beyond the pale. You go out of your way to accommodate somebody’s diet by making an extra main course, and they complain you didn’t make enough extra main courses to give them a choice? Yeah, your friend’s problem is not being vegetarian, it’s being a self-centered, rude asshole. I’m used to cooking for a mixture of various flavors of vegetarians and omnivores, but I’ve never ever come across such behavior in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/20 "2007-04-03T18:08:45Z")
Next time tell him he can choose from two vegetarian dishes: Take It or Leave It. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584.md?page=2)