# Vegetarian dinner guests. Aaaaaaaaaaaah. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 3, 2007, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584 "2007-04-03T17:03:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/41 "2007-04-03T18:50:18Z")
[Lemon Spaghetti](http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_26916,00.html). Huh. I’ve never heard of it… sounds interesting, though! I may try to make this some time soon. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/42 "2007-04-03T18:50:47Z")
It has driven you over the edge. Its now time not to invite her to anything you coordinate and tolerate her existance at other events. No one will ask, if they do, tell them that you went out of your way for her and instead of being grateful she chose to berate you for not doing more and you don’t need friends like that. And this has nothing to do with diet. You could all make plans to go see PotC3 this summer, spend a week making plans and she’d say “God, can’t we see a different movie, I can’t stand Kiera Knightley!” This is someone who misses that sometimes you make compromises to be with friends. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/43 "2007-04-03T18:54:06Z")
[QUOTE=LifeOnWry] One of our friends, though, routinely makes “aggressively” non-vegetarian meals, like pepperoni stromboli or pork roasts, then adds bacon to her mashed potatoes and that sort of thing. Again, my weird diet is not her problem, and I can usually manage just fine munching off the veggie tray or just having a larger portion of green beans or something. But this friend always plays ths little drama out as she sets food on the table: “OH NO! LifeOnWry! I am so sorry! I totally forgot you can’t eat this stuff! I am awful; I didn’t make anything you can eat! I’m SO sorry!” The first couple of times it happened, I assured her that I was fine, there was plenty I could eat, I certainly didn’t want her going out of her way on my behalf. But I’ve noticed that this is ALWAYS her routine now, and it’s getting very annoying. I ignore it, but I really have to wonder why on earth someone would do that. [/QUOTE] Because it’s obnoxious and so is she. I’d stop eating at her house. ---
**Author:** ![Boggette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/858c86/32.png) [@Boggette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boggette)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/44 "2007-04-03T18:54:25Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] By taking the high road, you make it clear to everyone that there’s only one petty jerk in the room. [/QUOTE] By taking that “high road” the jerk might not know they’re being a jerk. I still say call them on it at the time it happens. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/45 "2007-04-03T18:59:12Z")
[QUOTE=LifeOnWry] “OH NO! LifeOnWry! I am so sorry! I totally forgot you can’t eat this stuff! I am awful; I didn’t make anything you can eat! I’m SO sorry!” The first couple of times it happened, I assured her that I was fine, there was plenty I could eat, I certainly didn’t want her going out of her way on my behalf. But I’ve noticed that this is ALWAYS her routine now, and it’s getting very annoying. I ignore it, but I really have to wonder why on earth someone would do that. [/QUOTE] Because she is rude. And she doesn’t “approve” of vegetarians and this is her passive-aggressive way of holding her ground. Why anyone feels they need to approve or not approve of what someone else doesn’t eat is beyond me. I’d be tempted to show up with your own dish. “You can never remember I’m a vegetarian, so I brought something - enough for everyone - hope you don’t mind.” Something that doesn’t need to be warmed up, but is still relatively filling and vegetarian - pasta salad or couscous salad. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/46 "2007-04-03T19:11:19Z")
[QUOTE=Boggette] By taking that “high road” the jerk might not know they’re being a jerk. [/QUOTE] Yes, but everyone else in the room does. It’s not my job to teach people manners. Except once. 😉 Back in the Land Before Time, I was dating Laura. Her roommate Jan was dating Boz. Jan decided it would be a nice idea if she made a fancy dinner for the four of us. It was really nice. She went all out. Laura and Boz just made fun of the whole thing. “Eww, that’s probably poison!”, “That probably came from a TV dinner”, stuff like that. They were quite amused with themselves. Having a rolicking good time, and I could see that Jan wasn’t pleased. I (the hero of this story, as you shall see) stepped in and told Jan that everything was wonderful. The look she gave me suggested, if only for a moment, that we were both seeing the wrong people. I think Laura and Boz sensed it too, as they immediately rearranged their attitudes. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/47 "2007-04-03T19:13:41Z")
[QUOTE=villa] I do one that is equal parts olive oil, fresh lemon juice, fresh grated parmesan mixed together, then poured over the linguini and tossed with lemon zest. And fresh basil thrown in I think. I usually serve it with chicken and prosciutto sauteed in lemon & garlic. [/QUOTE] Yum! Except I’d go with pancietta or shrimp. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/48 "2007-04-03T19:28:00Z")
There is no excuse for ever speaking to that worthless bitch again. (Don’t blame vegetarians. I’m a vegetarian. I wouldn’t dream of doing that.) Putting together a dinner party is a fucking ton of work. Someone coming and complaining that she only has _one_ main course option that fit her special dietary requirements instead of two?! It just boggles my mind how self-centered some people can be. As far as I’m concerned, you’d be doing the world a favor if you lit her on fire. Okay, maybe that’s going a little far. Don’t invite her over for dinner again, anyhow. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/49 "2007-04-03T19:28:39Z")
Just wanted to say, that sounds like a fine meal in the OP. I didn’t know what “crostino” was, but now that I’ve looked it up, I’m hungry. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/50 "2007-04-03T19:34:13Z")
> [@](#): > > How come the meat eaters get to eat everything You can eat everything if you wish. I will not stop you from eating the lasagna. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/51 "2007-04-03T19:45:55Z")
[QUOTE=Excalibre] It just boggles my mind how self-centered some people can be. As far as I’m concerned, you’d be doing the world a favor if you lit her on fire. Okay, maybe that’s going a little far. [/QUOTE] Absolutely too far. A simple stabbing is all that’s required here. That’s what Miss Manners says, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/52 "2007-04-03T19:47:07Z")
[QUOTE=LifeOnWry] “OH NO! LifeOnWry! I am so sorry! I totally forgot you can’t eat this stuff! I am awful; I didn’t make anything you can eat! I’m SO sorry!” The first couple of times it happened, I assured her that I was fine, there was plenty I could eat, I certainly didn’t want her going out of her way on my behalf. But I’ve noticed that this is ALWAYS her routine now, and it’s getting very annoying. I ignore it, but I really have to wonder why on earth someone would do that. [/QUOTE] That just blows. When Kid Kalhoun brings a vegetarian gal-pal over, I go out of my way to make 3 or 4 vegetarian items so they don’t have to sit there with a plate of plain spaghetti or what have you. I would never dream of serving food that my INVITED guests don’t eat. WTF is that all about? ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/53 "2007-04-03T19:49:30Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] You can eat everything if you wish. I will not stop you from eating the lasagna. [/QUOTE] Yep! I know some people honestly CAN’T eat certain things without dire results, but if you choose to not eat certain foods, it’s your problem, not your host/hostess’s. A good host/hostess does their best to accommodate their guests, but I’d say the OP definitely fulfilled that obigation and then some. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/54 "2007-04-03T19:59:22Z")
[QUOTE=Excalibre] As far as I’m concerned, you’d be doing the world a favor if you lit her on fire. Okay, maybe that’s going a little far. [/QUOTE] Not too far at all. But if I’m invited to the OP’s next dinner party, I’m going with the vegetarian option. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/55 "2007-04-03T20:00:31Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] That just blows. When Kid Kalhoun brings a vegetarian gal-pal over, I go out of my way to make 3 or 4 vegetarian items so they don’t have to sit there with a plate of plain spaghetti or what have you. I would never dream of serving food that my INVITED guests don’t eat. WTF is that all about? [/QUOTE] That’s very kind of you, to go out of your way. I honestly don’t expect people to do that, cuz it’s a hassle, so when people do, I’m very appreciative. I’m a minority of one in a large-ish group, so I don’t expect everyone to remember all the time. Others in our group have forgotten on occasion too. The fact that this one person seems to suddenly remember that she’s forgotten EVERY TIME we’re over does seem to me to be passive-aggressive. I just can’t figure out what she could be getting out of this behavior. OH! Here’s another weird thing about this same woman - when we have potluck get-togethers, and everyone brings a dish, nine times out of ten it is this same woman who brings a dish that IS vegetarian-friendly. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/56 "2007-04-03T20:02:42Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] I would never dream of serving food that my INVITED guests don’t eat. WTF is that all about? [/QUOTE] Yeah, that’s pretty fucked up. I don’t server dinner to others much, but when I do I damn well make sure no one has allergies/aversions to anything I’m wanting to prepare. I was pretty upset to see one of my guests picking out mushrooms because his girlfriend was too much of an ass to let me know he didn’t like them after I specifically asked right as I was starting to cook. She knew he didn’t like them, but it wasn’t important to her as long as she didn’t find any onions in _her_ food. :rolleyes: **LifeOnWry** , I’m surprised still you refer to that one as ‘friend’. I’m also surprised she hasn’t tried to serve you a beverage with a beef jerky straw in it. :dubious: Does she pull the ol “well, it doesn’t have _much_ meat in it” crap too? ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/57 "2007-04-03T20:07:59Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] Hmmm. Mind if I use that? I would use it under acquaintance. That is; friend—\>acquaintance—\>contemporary. [/QUOTE] How could I possibly mind, unless I had a trademark on it? 🙂 Of course, if you turn it into a line of action clothing, rub-on-tattoos, and sex toys, you might donate $100 in my name to the United Rastafarian Society of America (URSA). ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/58 "2007-04-03T20:09:53Z")
[QUOTE=harmless] **LifeOnWry** , I’m surprised still you refer to that one as ‘friend’. I’m also surprised she hasn’t tried to serve you a beverage with a beef jerky straw in it. :dubious: Does she pull the ol “well, it doesn’t have _much_ meat in it” crap too? [/QUOTE] No, nothing like that 🙂 And really, she is a good friend in every other way. She’s almost always the first one there in a crisis, the one who offers to dog-sit and pick up the mail when we go out of town, the one who makes sure everyone gets copies of photos, a gazillion thoughtful little things. That’s why this one thing drives me so crazy. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/59 "2007-04-03T20:15:50Z")
[QUOTE=Una Persson] a line of action clothing, rub-on-tattoos, and sex toys, you might donate $100 in my name to the United Rastafarian Society of America (URSA). [/QUOTE] What about rub-on-sex-toys? 😃 Having met Rastafarians in Jamaica and the US, I would be happy to support the cause. > **[Rastafari movement in the United States](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rastafarian_movement_in_the_United_States)** > > The Rastafari movement in the United States echoes the Rastafari religious movement, which began in Jamaica, and Ethiopia during the 1930s. Marcus Garvey, born in Jamaica, was influenced by the Ethiopian king Haile Selassie. Jamaican Rastafaris began emigrating to the United States in the 1960s and 1970s, and established communities throughout the country. The name Rastafari derives from Ras Tafari, the title (ras) and first name of Haile Selassie (Täfäri Mäkonnän) before his coronation. In Amhar... ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2007, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584/60 "2007-04-03T20:16:12Z")
If that’s the case, **LifeOnWry** , maybe you bringing your own dish (enough for all, as **Dangerosa** suggested) would shame her into remembering? Don’t do it with the attitude of shaming her, but it might very well do so anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vegetarian-dinner-guests-aaaaaaaaaaaah/398584.md?page=4)