[QUOTE=hotflungwok]
Ugh, you people need help. Cheez whiz is not something you eat, it’s something you consult a urologist for.
[/QUOTE]
I’m pretty sure that’s Whiz Cheez.
This recipe is so good, I call it simply: Heart Attack
1 jar Cheez Whiz
1 stick butter, melted
1 jar Real Bacon Bits
4 lbs of potatoes
Scrub and leave skin on taters. Chunk into quarters or some such. Boil till tender. Place taters in a 9x13 baking dish. Mix up the Cheez Whiz and melted butter. Pour over tender taters. Toss on some of those Real Bacon Bits. Bake until “cheese” is bubbly.
OMFG this is so good! I only make it once a year because of the propensity to clog my arteries, but OMFG is it good.
Ro-Tel tomatos + Velveeta cheese + Doritos = Velveeta Heroin
[QUOTE=cochrane]
I like peanut butter-and-Velveeta sandwiches. With chunky peanut butter, o’ course.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=swampbear]
These are two of the most disgusting ideas for food I have seen in a long time. This means, of course, I cannot wait to try 'em. 
[/QUOTE]
What’s disgusting about Velveeta and peanut butter? Unless you think those little cheese flavored peanut butter cracker sandwiches are disgusting, too. Those were my inspiration. Peanut butter and Velveeta are both comfort foods. Peanut butter and Velveeta sandwiches are very filling and comforting. Add a slice of bologna, if desired. Toasting the bread is optional.
I’ve posted it before, but this is a great Velveeta recipe.
Chicken Noodle Stuff
1 12 oz bag of egg noodles
1 can chunk chicken, undrained
1 can sliced mushrooms, undrained
1 box frozen peas and carrots
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1/2 soup can milk
1/4 lb Velveeta, cubed (or more to taste! ;))
Start the noodles cooking. Throw all the other ingredients into a large skillet, and simmer until peas and carrots are done. When the noodles are done, drain and add to sauce. Mix well.
Velveeta rocks! Ro-Tel queso is the only way to go… sometimes I’ll add leftover taco meat into it.
[QUOTE=pulykamell]
I’m a bit of a foodie, and I have to agree with you here. A grilled cheese should be made with lots of butter, crappy American white bread (Wonder, Holsum, that sort), and Kraft singles. Velveeta I prefer in my mac & cheese. Even when I’m making slightly upmarket mac and cheesy, I usually use Velveeta as my solvent, instead of a bechamel. I do like the typical powder mac & cheese, but I kinda prefer the Velveeta cheesy shells.
[/QUOTE]
You make grilled cheese with butter? My mom always made it with mayo on the outsides of the bread, not butter. Though that does sounds like something to try. Does everyone else make it with butter, too, and I’ve just been living a lie?
And for the record, I agree - a grilled cheese is not a grilled cheese unless it’s made with cheese food instead of actual cheese. Mmmmm… Velveeta.
[QUOTE=overlyverbose]
You make grilled cheese with butter? My mom always made it with mayo on the outsides of the bread, not butter. Though that does sounds like something to try. Does everyone else make it with butter, too, and I’ve just been living a lie?
[/QUOTE]
I’ve always made them with butter, and that’s the way my mom and grandma always did it too. Keep your yucky mayo away from my Velveeta. 
Mom made them with butter. I use olive oil myself. And Velveeta Pepper Jack.
[QUOTE=Sattua]
When I was a kid, and went to stay with my mother’s parents, grandma would buy Velveeta and corn chips and let me make nachos in the evenings. It was the closest either grandma ever came to spoiling me–I loved it.
[/QUOTE]
I’m trying o eat healthier nowadays but I still get wicked cravings for melted velveeta over corn chips. You stick a chunk of velveeta in dish, add a little bit of milk, some salsa.. microwave and pour.
sooo good.
[QUOTE=Robot Arm]
To support my theory that there is a song about every conceivable topic, I present the lyrics from the bridge of Family Restaurant, by Uncle Bonsai:
Velveeta
It’s on everything that you can buy, it’s
Velveeta
It’s the Spam of the cheeses, it’s sure to appease, it’s
Velveeta
Just the name brings the tears to my eyes, it’s
Velveeta
It’s like cheese with a perfect disguise
[/QUOTE]
I was going to post that! Imagine, another UB fan amonst the Dopers I’m sure that are many many more
I also came in to quote some commedian or other who said Velveeta was invented so vegetarians could have Spam
But yeah, in the right applications, the stuff is tasty
[QUOTE=An Arky]
Wasn’t there a band called Velveeta Underground? I know the Mockers had a song by that name…
[/QUOTE]
[slight hijack]one of my closest friends is very good friends with Tony[/sh]
Microwave Nachos:
Mexican-style Velveeta, cut into slices, placed upon a plate of tortilla chips, and microwaved until melted (about 1 minute).
[QUOTE=overlyverbose]
You make grilled cheese with butter? My mom always made it with mayo on the outsides of the bread, not butter.
[/QUOTE]
Mayo? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of such a thing. So the mayo is on the outside of the bread while it fries? Huh…
Tellarné (a.k.a. Betty Grable in our family)
Brown diced onion in a skillet (1)
brown ground beef (1 lb-ish)
add 1 can tomato soup
one small can black olives (optional)
half a bag of elbow macaroni
water.
Simmer til macaroni is cooked
add velveeta (1/4 block, cubed)
man is it good.
[QUOTE=anyrose]
I also came in to quote some commedian or other who said Velveeta was invented so vegetarians could have Spam
[/QUOTE]
In my household, we take a block of Spam, a block of Velveeta, run them thru a meat grinder (food processors puree them too much if you’re not careful) then spread the resulting mix on bread and pop it in the toaster oven until it’s crispy and bubbly and heart-stoppingly delicious! 
(Some folks add onions to the grinder, and/or other vegetables/spices. I don’t go for that, but to each their own)
[QUOTE=Qadgop the Mercotan]
In my household, we take a block of Spam, a block of Velveeta, run them thru a meat grinder (food processors puree them too much if you’re not careful) then spread the resulting mix on bread and pop it in the toaster oven until it’s crispy and bubbly and heart-stoppingly delicious!
(Some folks add onions to the grinder, and/or other vegetables/spices. I don’t go for that, but to each their own)
[/QUOTE]
Only in Wisconsin…This has got to be the Lutheran influence. I can’t wait to try it. 
[QUOTE=yellowval]
Velveeta is really the best for mac and cheese. It can’t be denied.
[/QUOTE]
Like hell it can’t.
I used to go to a fairly fancy restaurant that set out a crock of a delicious, tangy cheese spread with crackers. I got the recipe from them, and was shocked to discover that it was not made with any fancy cheeses, but with Velveeta. The texture was totally different than that of the Velveeta.
Here it is:
Cheese Spread
3 lb. block of Velveeta
1 small jar horseradish (I think it’s 4 oz…Woebber’s)
Sherry…fill the empty horseradish jar and dump in
1 T Worchestershire sauce
Mix all the ingredients together and let stand…I put it in the fridge for a few hours or overnight. Then process in food processor or in a mixer until smooth. Serve with crackers and breadsticks.
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
That is so going on my grocery list. I’ll buy the two pound brick, and save half for Ro-tel Dip dinner a week later.
[/QUOTE]
What time is dinner? Do you want me to bring a pan of brownies for dessert? Or better yet, Blue Bell Ice Cream has their seasonal chocolate covered strawberry ice yummy delicious stuff for sale again (please don’t ask me about the six gallons DH brought home for my freezer stash).
caca…I knew this would end up in CS if people started flinging around recipes and Uncle Banzai lyrics (Oh yes, Inigo knows UB. I still wake up in the morning humming, “Boys want…”).