# Ventriloquist's Dummy Breast Problem **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 2, 2004, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ventriloquists-dummy-breast-problem/262793 "2004-09-02T16:52:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2004, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ventriloquists-dummy-breast-problem/262793/41 "2004-09-08T07:09:19Z")
Sorry, I find those dummies to be sinister & creepy, much like clowns. Mimes are worse. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ventriloquists-dummy-breast-problem/262793/42 "2004-09-09T14:21:37Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Sorry, I find those dummies to be sinister & creepy, much like clowns. Mimes are worse. :eek: IU second this. And don;t even get me started on marionettes ---
**Author:** ![FruitPie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@FruitPie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FruitPie)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ventriloquists-dummy-breast-problem/262793/43 "2004-09-10T08:58:30Z")
> [@Chicane](#): > > I have returned the dummy’s breasts to whence they came, in a parcel marked _Wooden Breasts: Please Do Not Fondle_ and, as an afterthought, _This Way Up._ Wouldn’t that be inviting trouble? 😃 An unmarked box will travel happily through the postal system.One marked Wooden Breasts may be ‘removed’ by a postal worker for gratification :).And someone’s bound to open it to see if that is an accurate description of contents? ---
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ventriloquists-dummy-breast-problem/262793/44 "2004-09-10T14:27:24Z")
> [@Chicane](#): > > I have returned the dummy’s breasts to whence they came, in a parcel marked _Wooden Breasts: Please Do Not Fondle_ and, as an afterthought, _This Way Up._ I think you should have just ordered some new ones and kept those. They would have made a most excellent set of door knockers. You could have made a sign that said “Knockers” with an arrow pointing to them. > [@](#): > > I did post under the name **Nostradamus** until November 2002 . . . Nostradamus? Hmph: predictable. \ > [@](#): > > . . . but since then (until recently) I have been lurking, not having anything useful to contribute. Welcome to my entire posting career ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ventriloquists-dummy-breast-problem/262793/45 "2004-09-10T19:04:09Z")
> [@RiverRunner](#): > > Welcome to my entire posting career Whaddaya mean? That post right there was… well… I mean, there was that other… uh… Hey **Chicane**! Funny thread! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ventriloquists-dummy-breast-problem/262793/46 "2004-09-10T19:35:20Z")
> [@Chicane](#): > > I have returned the dummy’s breasts to whence they came, in a parcel marked Wooden Breasts: Please Do Not Fondle and, as an afterthought, This Way Up. Postal Worker’s thought balloon: Pirate cosplay just keeps getting weirder and weirder… ---
**Author:** ![caligynephobia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7feea3/32.png) [@caligynephobia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caligynephobia)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2004, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ventriloquists-dummy-breast-problem/262793/47 "2004-09-12T19:40:25Z")
> [@BurnMeUp](#): > > IU second this. And don;t even get me started on marionettes Then make sure to miss “Team America World Police” when it hits movie theaters this fall - all marionettes from what I understand. I can’t remember any all-marionette movies in my lifetime, but there’s a little in “Being John Malkovich.” Don’t see that either if you don’t like marionettes. But it’s a pretty good movie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ventriloquists-dummy-breast-problem/262793.md?page=2)