# Verily,I shall consume thee, PEEPS **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 15, 2001, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018 "2001-04-15T01:58:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/1 "2001-04-15T01:58:18Z")
Tremble before me, paragon of marshmallow sugardness. I shall consume thee, white bunny Peep. Thee and thy 15 brethren. Assembled, thou art in 4 rows of 4, gazing beadily at me. Contained within thou are 2080 calories, 176% of my daily carbohydrates, 16 grams of protein, and 464 grams of sugar. I feat thee greatly, but I will triumph. Watch as I consume all the cute marshmallow goodness. Peep #1 Soft and sugary, smelling like cellophane. I rip off thy ears, and consume them. Mmmm, sugary and good, with a hint of vanilla.Your body, I consume with glee. ---
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/2 "2001-04-15T02:16:14Z")
Peep #2. Enbolded by the ease of your borthers defeat, I gobble you whole. Already, I feel the surgar coursing through my veins. Peep #3 Undaunted, I eat you feet first.I thrill to the crunch of our sugar coating, the delactable gooyness of your body. Peep #4 Consumed by sugar avarice, I smite you with my molars. One row completed. I feel the thrill of minor victory. ---
**Author:** ![Gazoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ce73a5/32.png) [@Gazoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazoo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/3 "2001-04-15T02:28:20Z")
PEEP #5 - I save thee from the carnage to become a paperweight on my desk. PEEP #6 - I try to give thee to a poor man on the stret who spits in my face and curses… ---
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/4 "2001-04-15T02:43:05Z")
Aaah…Foiled. Peep # 7 I swallow you greedily, lest Gazoo interfere! Hands, beginning to shake from the sugar… ---
**Author:** ![Gazoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ce73a5/32.png) [@Gazoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazoo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/5 "2001-04-15T02:48:38Z")
Peep #8 disolves in a surprise rain shower… ---
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/6 "2001-04-15T02:57:10Z")
Peep # 9 **Moi** scorns you, but fear not, I shall consume thee. Yum **moi** sniffs peeps 10-11, disturbed by their lack of foodsmell. Why isn’t this iced tea sweet anymore? ---
**Author:** ![Gazoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ce73a5/32.png) [@Gazoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazoo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/7 "2001-04-15T03:08:54Z")
Gazoo uses #12 as a bobber while fishing the mighty Wisconsin. ---
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/8 "2001-04-15T03:14:57Z")
Peep # 10 is consumed in tribute to **Euty** Peep # 11 follows quickly on it’s heels, squeaking softly for mercy. I wonder where all my Peeps keep going? ---
**Author:** ![Gazoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ce73a5/32.png) [@Gazoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazoo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/9 "2001-04-15T03:24:27Z")
#13 is mistaken for a dust bunny and ends up in Gazoo’s vacuum cleaner. ---
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/10 "2001-04-15T03:30:42Z")
Alas and alack, this strange alien life form confounds my peep eating! To protect my self I must consume **4** Peeps at once! Prepare to meast they maker, Peeps 13-17! [sub] yeah, I know there are more than 16, gazoo’s are “virtual” peeps[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Gazoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ce73a5/32.png) [@Gazoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazoo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/11 "2001-04-15T03:45:18Z")
Gazoo finds an old marshmallow in the cupboard, spits on it an rolls it in the sugar bowl…adds a drop or two of yellow food coloring…ah ha…another peep! ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/12 "2001-04-15T03:48:27Z")
I threw up 6 times reading this thread… ICK those things are nasty nasty nasty! ---
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/13 "2001-04-15T03:52:19Z")
More sugar, More MORE… _consumes another peep with a rabid gleam in his eye_ too sugared up to count anymore… ---
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/14 "2001-04-15T04:19:24Z")
I’ve hit the wall…Only three confectionary wabbits wemain…My hands twemble…my lips cuwl…Can I do it? With twepidation, I pick up another Peep. So soft…_sob_…so chewy _sob_…so swweeet…_wail_… ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/15 "2001-04-15T04:49:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gazoo \* > \*\*Peep #8 disolves in a surprise rain shower… \*\* [No, it doesn’t!](http://www.learnlink.emory.edu/peep/solubility.html) ---
**Author:** ![Gazoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ce73a5/32.png) [@Gazoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazoo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/16 "2001-04-15T04:58:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gunslinger \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Gazoo \* > > \*\*Peep #8 disolves in a surprise rain shower… \*\* > > [No, it doesn’t!](http://www.learnlink.emory.edu/peep/solubility.html) \*\* ROFLOL!! ---
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/17 "2001-04-15T05:00:10Z")
> [@](#): > > Ingestion of even small amounts may cause nausea, vomiting, circulatory collapse, tachypnea, paralysis, > convulsions, coma, greenish or smoky-colored urine, necrosis of mouth and G.I. tract, icterus, death from > respiratory failure, sometimes from cardiac arrest. Average fatal dose is 15g, but death from as little as one gram > has been reported. Fatal poisoning may also occur by skin absorption… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![SpinneZiege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SpinneZiege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpinneZiege)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/18 "2001-04-15T05:10:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gunslinger \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Gazoo \* > > \*\*Peep #8 disolves in a surprise rain shower… \*\* > > [No, it doesn’t!](http://www.learnlink.emory.edu/peep/solubility.html) \*\* Man, I was wondering how long til someone posted this link. I just remembered that I have some four day old (oh wait- look at the time, they’re officially five days old!) peeps in my car. I think I’ll go have a midnight snack right now… [later] Mmmmm… Hard as a rock and they taste even better. These things must be a delicacy, they get better with age! Happy Easter to the Teeming Millions! ---
**Author:** ![Gazoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ce73a5/32.png) [@Gazoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazoo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/19 "2001-04-15T05:25:10Z")
Yuck, yuck yuck!!! I can’t believe anyone eats these _things_!!! ---
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2001, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018/20 "2001-04-15T05:36:16Z")
Thanks for the support **Spinne** One…last…Peep. Look at it. Looking dopily at me with its indigestible eyes. Lying there innocently in leftover sugar. Lonely. The last of it’s kind. It’s only fair to reunite it with it’s lost siblings in the Peep afterlife. Farewell, fair Peep. Your will soon be gone, but not forgotten. For in years hence, the Peeps of the future will remeber your brave sacrifice. Godspeed,Peep. _munch_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/verily-i-shall-consume-thee-peeps/62018.md?page=2)