# VERY funny page on Episode III

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-funny-page-on-episode-iii/113416>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [June 11, 2002, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-funny-page-on-episode-iii/113416 "2002-06-11T09:43:38Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![curwin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@curwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curwin)\
**Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-funny-page-on-episode-iii/113416/1 "2002-06-11T09:43:38Z")

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Brunching has done it again:  
[http://www.brunching.com/features/starwarsforeshadow.html](http://www.brunching.com/features/starwarsforeshadow.html)

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**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\
**Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-funny-page-on-episode-iii/113416/2 "2002-06-11T13:28:22Z")

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I like that letter they recommend everybody on the planet write to George Lucas.

> [@](#):
>
> Dear Mr. Lucas,
> 
> We all really like Star Wars. It’s a great story and we cherish it each and every day. We have all purchased lots of Star Wars merchandise, and have helped make you very rich.
> 
> Now it’s payback time.
> 
> You see Mr Lucas, you suck as a writer. Really awful. And your directing…it’s not very good either. So here’s the deal. You write up an outline (no dialogue allowed) of Episode Three. You then hire a competent and hip writer, someone younger than, say, fifty. Said writer writes Episode Three, based on your notes. Then, you go and hire yourself a hot, fresh director–or Steven Spielberg, he’d do. You let them direct the movie while you sit back and collect lots of money. Everybody wins.
> 
> If you do that, we promise to go see it. And we will not burn you in effigy.
> 
> Does this seem preposterous? You’ve done it before.
> 
> Here are the credits for Star Wars Episode Five: The Empire Strikes Back
> 
> Directed By: Irvin Kershner  
> Story by: George Lucas  
> Written by: Leigh Brackett and Lawrence Kasdan
> 
> Many, many people think that Empire is the best of the original trilogy, and it’s the only one that you didn’t write or direct.
> 
> Get the picture?
> 
> So get it in gear. If not, well, we can always look forward to the upcoming Matrix sequels with equal glee.
> 
> Sincerely,  
> The People

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**Author:** ![welby1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@welby1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby1)\
**Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-funny-page-on-episode-iii/113416/3 "2002-06-11T15:09:07Z")

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I think the big problem with Episode I and II is not so much the dialogue or direction, it’s the very poor acting. Aside from one or two minor characters, none of the actors should be in high school plays, much less a big screen picture. That was what was so cool about the first three pictures: The dialogue was just as corny, but the cast had SOME talent.

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**Author:** ![shelbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@shelbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shelbo)\
**Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-funny-page-on-episode-iii/113416/4 "2002-06-11T17:03:43Z")

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“That’s it. There is no hope.”

BWAHAHaha … hee hee … chuckle … snort … grin . . .