My parents often reference each other as “Mommy” and “Daddy” when talking to me and my siblings. I think it’s funny especially since they do it unconsciously.
Oh, yeh, I thought of another.
Have you ever noticed that some folks, when they eat, stick their tongue out of their mouths when they open wide to fork something in? What’s up with that? Are they trying to snag the food with some fancy tongue action, anteater-like? It’s gross. I want them to stop it.
Don’t block the aisle at the grocery store. This means you, family of four who have to shop together. And you, kindly old couple shopping together. And you others holding a conversation in the middle of the aisle. Remember that there are others trying to shop there too. Just leave enough room to get through. It isn’t that hard.
This happened to me all the time in college. Finally I had enough of it and when I encountered two girls walking abreast on a sidewalk not wide enough for three, I put my shoulder down and knocked her on her ass. It felt GREAT!
I hate the people that are too inept to use the self scan grocery line and do it anyway. If you can’t do it, go to the regular lane. And if your cart is full, go to the regular lanes.
I know it’s a little anal retentive, but I don’t like baseball scoreboard operators that credit the runs prematurely. Ditto for the TV graphics. For a grand slam, you credit the first run when the guy on third touches home, the second run when the guy on second touches, the third when the guy on first touches, and finally the fourth when the batter touches. It does not go up by 4 instantaneously.
Last but certainly not least, every freaking checkout person thinks they have to ask you “could you find everything all right?” No, I thought I’d wait till I got the conveyor full of groceries, then send someone out looking for kumquats. Jeez.
After the divorce, my mom used to refer to my dad in conversation with others as “the father of my children” instead of “my ex-husband.” I nver bothered telling her that using that phrase made it sounds as though she hadn’t been married, which was a big thing in her generation.
As for the “your mother / your father” thing, you have to imagine a certain tone of loathing to get the full flavor. It pissed me off something fierce as a kid.
My mother will say things like, “I’ll ask [dad’s name]–uh, I mean, your father-- about this when I see him.” Like I wouldn’t know who [dad’s name] was or something. Whenever I tell her she doesn’t have to correct herself, her response is that she doesn’t like it when children call their father by his first name. 
Either she’s equating herself with his children (which actually makes sense, given their screwed up relationship), or she thinks that I’m going to suddenly break tradition and think, hell, if she gets to call him that, I do too.. WTF, Mom.
She also thinks out loud and narrates everything she’s doing for her listeners’ benefit. Drives me crazy.
You say that as if people don’t do it anyway.
Granted, it’s bad timing, but your annoyance is misplaced. In fact, they *do *have to ask you, just like they have to call you by the first name they cribbed from your card, get your zip code and any number of other silly things handed down from above.
I was having a conversation with my son’s girlfriend. We started talking about people in certain age ranges seem to have some similar quirks.
I asked her about my age range. She said…People your age really seem to have a thing about lights being on in a room no-one is in…
Yup.
Were you a kid during the oil embargo perchance?
Conversations like the ones below drive me batshit crazy -
Q: Are they selling cookies over there?
Me: I don’t know.
Q: Are they peanut butter cookies?
Me: I don’t know.
Q: How much do they want for a dozen.
Me: (while stabbing out my eyes with a pencil): I don’t know
Also these types- I’ll be asked to call a store and ask if they have an item.
Me: I called the Sporting goods store, they do have Mace
Q: How many cans?
Me: I didn’t ask them how many cans. You just wanted to know if they had it.
Q: Well, did they tell you how many ounces were in each can, and what the price was?
Me: No, we didn’t have a long conversation. I asked the question as requested. They answered. If you wanted to know more information you should have asked me to include that.
Q:Well, did you ask them to hold a can till I can pick it up?
Me: Head explodes
Yeah. Just old enough to remember it. heh.
But my wife’s 1 month older than me, making us the same age for all practical purposes; apparently, she doesn’t have the same quirk.
I haaaaate that!! Just stop it and speak properly. My bad what?
Q:Have you seen the movie ___________
Me: No
Q:Really?
Me: Really.
Q: Really with Sean Penn and Brad Pitt
Me: It doesn’t matter whose in it, I still haven’t seen it.
How about this one.
(Keep in mind that the person asking the question, never looks at me)
Q:Hey Joey, where’s the remote.
Me: (points at it)It’s right there, I can see it
Q:Well, I still don’t see it.
Me: (still pointing at it), it’s right there.
Q:I’m still not seeing it, where is it?
Me: (still pointing at it), You’re not looking where I’m pointing
Q:I STILL don’t see it
Me: (still pointing at it), LOOK AT ME…it’s right there.
Q:Oh.
(I guess that last one sounds kind of harsh, but the “where is it” question as well as the ‘it’s right there’ answer have a tone of "could you point out where the remote is’/‘Sure, it’s right there, I’m pointing at it’
Businesses that ask for personal information at the checkout counter.
“My ZIP code is fuck you”
People who feel it necessary to tap or poke me to get my attention…they make me stabby.
I never really thought that lights consume such a large proportion of a households energy as they do. Recently I plugged a Kill-a-watt metering device into what I thought were the major culprits - freezer, fridge, computer, electric blanket - and I found that while they may peak at certain times and be above a 100W light bulb - for the most part, they use less energy. The exception might be the basement dehumidifier which pulled 600W and runs a lot at certain times of the year. And the computer. I was just really surprised at the fridge, freezer and blanket power usage.
Anyhow - back to the spirit of the OP - one thing that has been bothering me recently, and I’ve heard it a lot in political and sports talk arenas:
When someone is engaged in a discussion and asks and answers their own question in the same breath to make a point.
Just say what the hell it is you want to say.
That makes for an interesting post/username combo.
The Dollar Store has stopped selling anything useful. Ibuprofen. Trash can liners (except for oddball sizes). Shower curtains. Salad tongs. Paper towels. Six-in-a-pack peppermint sugarless gum. Peppermint Mentos. Laundry detergent. Cheapie table cloths. White paper plates. Smallish CLEAR plastic cups. There are aisles and aisles of hair-raisingly ugly knick knacks made in China, mothballs, lame greeting cards, room deodorizers with no scent, tiny cloth ‘purses’ sewed up in some sweatshop adjacent to the knick knack factory, and party supplies in vile colors. They just don’t have any of the stuff I actually, you know, NEED. I’m done. I’ll just have to sleepwalk to Walmart just like everyone else, if I want to save a few cents.
Our local news department confuses Marketing with Sensationalism:
"BREAKING NEWS!!! A school bus broke down on the way to school.
“Major recall!! Tune in at 6pm to find out what major items that may be in your pantry are affected.”
Sorry to break in on Judge Judy, but SuperDuperDoppler has just pinpointed an area where conditions may exist for tornadic activity.
THIS!!! Also, at school, a kid will have his hand up. I call on the twerp. The twerp says, “Can I ask a question?”
If I’ve had a hard day, I’ll say, “You just did. Next!”