# Very Petty Theft **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 9, 2000, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009 "2000-05-09T15:30:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2000, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009/21 "2000-05-17T03:47:25Z")
And after you steal the toilet paper you have to put super glue on the seat. ---
**Author:** ![HaploXL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@HaploXL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HaploXL)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2000, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009/22 "2000-05-17T04:02:47Z")
I DID IT, I ADMIT!!! I DID IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!! _sob, sob_ Is it my fault i am a klepto? I mean its not often a person gets home from the docters and finds he/she has snatched the lamp off of the main table. When you think about it you should be happy i didnt steal your cubbicle…hmmmmmmmm that would add a nice look to the kitchen. ---
**Author:** ![Jamoross](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jamoross/32/3241_2.png) [@Jamoross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamoross)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2000, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009/23 "2000-05-17T05:16:42Z")
Well is this serendipitious or what!? Here I am sitting at my desk --in Tokyo!-- sipping my tea and clicking idly about when I notice there is a new Threadspotting link. (Here comes the fun part.) While I’m waiting for the page to load, my colleague siting across from me speaks up. Seems he had an interesting phone conversation earlier this week. He had phoned in to our lab here and spoke one of our salesmen while I was out. (Getting there…stay with me.) While on the phone this salesman decides he needs a pen and rummgages in the nearest desk. My desk it turns out. We know this because before he found a pen, he found the **mousetrap** I had placed in my drawer expressly to discourage such petty thefts! For balance, I should probably include the fact that I also keep a pile of loose change in that same drawer and none of it has ever gone missing. Pens, scissors, staplers, tools; but never the cash. - jam ---
**Author:** ![Geet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Geet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geet)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2000, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009/24 "2000-05-17T13:17:47Z")
My little spitting frogs never get stolen, but many a young child, visiting my office with their student-parents, lay their trembling little hands upon these fine rubber gems, probably hoping I’ll look away for a minute. Now I HAVE had a clipboard and a paper cutter stolen. Yes, a paper cutter. The BIG kind, those ones you see at copy stores, with the big, sharp blades. Can you imagine? A paper cutter? Some rabscallion is probably using it as a coffee table. ---
**Author:** ![aenea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@aenea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aenea)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2000, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009/25 "2000-05-17T14:24:55Z")
So nice to see you around. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2000, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009/26 "2000-05-17T16:57:07Z")
> [@](#): > > However, if your cow orkers are truly so desperate… Cow orkers? Rosebud! I didn’t know you were in the cow orking business! So, how exactly does one ork a cow? Is it anything like felching a goat (which seems to be the business the people who steal your stuff are in…)? Or maybe its like milking a cow: Milk a cow, and you get milk; ork a cow, and you get ork. That just brings up the question of what ork is in the first place. I never see it at the grocery store. If ork is such a valuable commodity that an entire industry has sprung up around it, and it isn’t availible to the public, then it muust be used for something secret and sinister. Military research, perhaps. Stuff you don’t want getting out to the public. Ohmigosh, you’re involved in _ork warfare!_ Isn’t that banned under the Geneva Convention? How can you sleep at night, doing what you do? How do you live with yourself, seeing the faces of all those innocent victims being orked to death on the news? How do you stand it? Er, ah, I’m sorry. I’m in one of those moods. Uh, please resume the original discussion, and pretend you didn’t see that. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2000, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009/27 "2000-05-17T22:11:54Z")
I submit to you that I have never, to the best of my knowledge, orked a cow. I cannot, however, vouch for my office mates. ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2000, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009/28 "2000-05-18T03:36:12Z")
“When you come to an ork on the road, take it.” – Yo gi Ber ra ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2000, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009/29 "2000-05-18T08:28:03Z")
Wow Ork is what the Illuminati use to stay immortal \*knock \*Knock Hello? Hey who are you?? HEy, get out of my Cube!! No!! No!! I dont know anything! Let Go!!! I don… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2000, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009/30 "2000-05-18T12:35:27Z")
Ork is the planet Mork was from. While he never made reference to cows, maybe they did have them there. Drank the milk right out of the udder with their fingers. ---
**Author:** ![Geet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Geet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geet)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2000, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009/31 "2000-05-18T13:36:53Z")
\*\* Hi Aenea! \*\* So tell me, Aenea, are YOU the rabscallion who’s using my paper cutter as a coffee table? ---
**Author:** ![aenea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@aenea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aenea)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2000, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009/32 "2000-05-18T15:18:23Z")
Nope, nope, that would be some other hapless student type.😃 I used milkcrates, remember? But now that I am in the land of the paying jobs, I am getting actual furniture. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009/33 "2000-09-11T00:12:07Z")
> [@](#): > > - > > Cow orkers? > > \*\* 😃 I used to have that “Co-Workers” category on my buddylist read “Cow Workers” instead, because I liked the idea of people thinking of me as a dairy farmer. I’d be POed if someone stole my stuff Rosebud. ::best Eddie Haskell impression:: I **sure** hope the guy that took your stuff gets canned! ::cackles and runs off to rummage in a desk:: ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009/34 "2000-09-11T01:00:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monster104 \* > \*\*And after you steal the toilet paper you have to put super glue on the seat. \*\* No, you lock the bathrooms… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009/35 "2000-09-12T18:02:19Z")
No discussion of orking cows would be complete without this thread [Weird Cow-Orkers and Bosses!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=36670) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-petty-theft/19009.md?page=1)