# Very Short Battles between Comic Book Chracters **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 2, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857 "2003-07-02T20:07:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/1 "2003-07-02T20:07:51Z")
**Magneto vs. the Metal Men.** Magneto would win in a second. Can you think of any other very short battles? ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/2 "2003-07-02T20:10:28Z")
The Hulk vs. Aunt May Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/3 "2003-07-02T20:15:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zev\_steinhardt \* > \*\*The Hulk vs. Aunt May > > Zev Steinhardt \*\* that depends…is this in the alternate timline where Aunt May becomes herald of Galactus and leads him away from planet-devouring and gets him hooked on off-brand Twinkies? ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/4 "2003-07-02T20:21:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stonebow \* > \*\*that depends…is this in the alternate timline where Aunt May becomes herald of Galactus and leads him away from planet-devouring and gets him hooked on off-brand Twinkies? \*\* I was hoping no one would remember that issue of Marvel Team-Up (Aunt May and Franklin Richards)… OK, how about Magneto vs. Iron Man? yeah, yeah, I know the armor isn’t really iron… Ultra Man (was it Ultra Man who was afraid of flames? It’s been several years since I read Marvels) vs. the Human Torch? Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/5 "2003-07-02T20:26:01Z")
Aquaman vs. Little Lulu. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/6 "2003-07-02T20:29:55Z")
The Rachel Summers Phoenix vs. Nova, Herald of Galactus. Phoenix punched Nova to the _moon._ ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/7 "2003-07-02T20:31:10Z")
Daredevil vs. Galactus! ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/8 "2003-07-02T20:38:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zev\_steinhardt \* > \*\*Ultra Man (was it Ultra Man who was afraid of flames? It’s been several years since I read Marvels) vs. the Human Torch? \*\* Close–it was one of my favorites, **Captain Ultra** (the hero who can do anything better than you). But his shrink later cured him of his pyrophobia ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/9 "2003-07-02T20:46:10Z")
I thought this was going to be a thread for folks to reminescence about their favorite comic-book quickie fights. And I was all set to nominate Spider-Man (present) vs. Spider-Man (2099) in the crossover one-shot they had, too. Spider-Man (present): “Look, I know how this goes – we meet up, we have a misunderstanding, we fight, we straighten things out, we go stop the villian, but time’s short, so can we just jump straight to the villian part?” (And I _liked_ the Galactus-Aunt May-Franklin Richards team-up! **Golden Oldie!** 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/10 "2003-07-02T21:47:31Z")
I always liked the Batman vs Guy Gardner fight from Justice League. Guy finally snaps and challenges Batman to a fight, telling Blue Beetle to hold his Green Lantern ring. Batman punches him once in the face and Guy is knocked out, to the mirth of all. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/11 "2003-07-02T21:50:35Z")
Lobo vs Richie Rich’s mom ---
**Author:** ![zen101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c68b51/32.png) [@zen101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zen101)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/12 "2003-07-02T21:57:54Z")
Whatever the other universe creature who caused “Secret Wars 1” and was the main feature of “Secret Wars 2” vs anyone. Banshee vs Dazzler The Saint of Killers vs pretty much anyone except someone with god-voice. The Mummy vs The Human Torch Me vs a meatball sub ---
**Author:** ![zen101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c68b51/32.png) [@zen101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zen101)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/13 "2003-07-02T22:03:36Z")
Whatever the other universe creature who caused “Secret Wars 1” and was the main feature of “Secret Wars 2” vs anyone. Banshee vs Dazzler The Saint of Killers vs pretty much anyone except someone with god-voice. The Mummy vs The Human Torch Me vs a meatball sub ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/14 "2003-07-02T22:42:39Z")
Given that The Beyonder casually kicked Galactus’s ass, I’d agree with #1. Reminds me of Tom the Dancing Bug’s “God-Man”. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/15 "2003-07-02T23:07:05Z")
Posted by **zen101:** > [@](#): > > Whatever the other universe creature who caused “Secret Wars 1” and was the main feature of “Secret Wars 2” vs anyone. “Anyone”? Don’t forget, at the end of Secret Wars 2, the Beyonder got his ass kicked by the Molecule Man! How about the Mighty Thor vs. Jack Chick’s Crusaders! (They think God’s on THEIR side, do they?) Damon Hellstrom and the Ghost Rider vs. Hot Stuff! Wolverine vs. The Smurfs! The Punisher vs. Archie! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/16 "2003-07-02T23:30:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*Aquaman vs. Little Lulu. \*\* $50 says the kid takes fishface in 3 rounds.😃 ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/17 "2003-07-02T23:30:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BrainGlutton \* > Wolverine vs. The Smurfs! Why do I have the image of Wolverine confronting a Smurf, then makes a disgusting face, and spits out “This is f@$kin’ ridiculous,” and stomps off somewhere to get a beer? > [@](#): > > The Punisher vs. Archie! [Already done.](http://www.milehighcomics.com/cgi-bin/backissue.cgi?action=list&title=65960402534&snumber=1) :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/18 "2003-07-02T23:36:27Z")
pre-2000 Storm vs. a tiny box ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/19 "2003-07-02T23:43:38Z")
All right, how about Sabertooth vs. Millie the Model? ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/20 "2003-07-02T23:54:56Z")
Poopeye vs. Bart Simpson (Yes, I meant Poopeye.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857.md?page=2)