# Very Short Battles between Comic Book Chracters **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 2, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857 "2003-07-02T20:07:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/41 "2003-07-03T12:12:52Z")
Dazler vs. The Peeper Galactis vs. BAMF ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/42 "2003-07-03T12:54:08Z")
Wolverine vs. Bugs Bunny ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/43 "2003-07-03T13:04:32Z")
The entire Justice League vs. The Family Circus. _That_ I’d like to see! ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/44 "2003-07-03T13:20:25Z")
Daria vs. The Hulk. “Oh, right, growl and smash things, that’ll really im … AAAAAAGH!” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/45 "2003-07-03T14:21:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zen101 \* > \*\*Banshee vs Dazzler \*\* Actually, they did a sort of Black Bolt vs. Dazzler in one issue of Dazzler–he supercharged her light attack so she could freakin’ nuke somebody. He thought it was neat because it was pretty much the first time he had ever been allowed to use his power full out (that whole leveling-mountains thing, you know). I don’t remember who she shot, but he was v. unhappy… Another quickie fight that also happened: Dazzler vs. The Claw. He grabbed her and she just sort of slurped him right up, what with him being made of pure sound and all… ---
**Author:** ![Shortie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Shortie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shortie)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/46 "2003-07-03T16:03:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lawoot \* > \*\*Wolverine vs. Bugs Bunny \*\* Surely a very long fight, until the poor guy gives up and goes home. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/47 "2003-07-03T16:34:54Z")
Conan the Barbarian vs Groo the Wanderer…no, wait, that wouldn’t be a short fight, just a very funny one. ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/48 "2003-07-03T18:56:27Z")
Hamster Huey vs. The Gooey Kablooie! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/49 "2003-07-03T19:08:45Z")
Conan the Barbarian vs. Cherry Poptart Not exactly a FIGHT, but it would be over quick . . . ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/50 "2003-07-03T19:28:24Z")
Not a short fight, but I’d like to see John Constantine vs. Batman. They’d irritate one another to death. 😃 (somehow, I get the feeling that this has been done somewhere) ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/51 "2003-07-03T20:23:27Z")
**The Newsboy Legion** vs. **The Dingbats of Danger Street** You’d have a Kirby implosion! poof! over in a nano-second. **Inviso-Lad** vs. **The Shadow** They couldn’t see each other and there’d be no fight. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/52 "2003-07-03T22:40:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Terrifel \* > **Marvel Sandman vs. DC’s Vertigo Sandman** I believe Peter David did something close to this in an issue of _Soulsearchers and Company_ (Claypool Comics). It was intended to be a riff of Tom DeFalco’s claim that DC’s **Sandman** was too cerebral and boring, and that DeFalco’s own **Sleepwalker** was “Sandman done right.” :rolleyes: The standout gag of the showdown was no one being able to understand DC Sandman, because he kept talking with white letters on black word ballons. 🙂 And another vote for Conan vs. Groo! ---
**Author:** ![Lear\_s\_fool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/df788c/32.png) [@Lear\_s\_fool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lear_s_fool)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/53 "2003-07-04T01:35:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Popeye VS. The Swamp Thing after he’s unfortunately manifested out of a field of spinich not really post I mean if this post Alan Moore Swamp thing i don’t care how man bodies popey is able to kill Sampy can just keep coming ---
**Author:** ![Lear\_s\_fool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/df788c/32.png) [@Lear\_s\_fool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lear_s_fool)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/54 "2003-07-04T01:36:13Z")
* * * ## Popeye VS. The Swamp Thing after he’s unfortunately manifested out of a field of spinich not really. If this post Alan Moore Swamp thing i don’t care how man bodies Popeye is able to kill, Sampy can just keep coming ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/55 "2003-07-04T06:42:25Z")
Galactus vs. 'Mazing Man. Hey, they wear practically the same helmet… ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/56 "2003-07-04T06:45:22Z")
Has Batman vs. The Roadrunner been the subject of a thread or something? It just occurred to me, but I’m not sure if I came up with it or remembered it. ---
**Author:** ![Fibber\_McGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a6a055/32.png) [@Fibber\_McGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fibber_McGee)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/57 "2003-07-04T06:56:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Marley23 \* > \*\*Has Batman vs. The Roadrunner been the subject of a thread or something? It just occurred to me, but I’m not sure if I came up with it or remembered it. \*\* It matters not since this point of this thread is _short_battles, not _neverending_ battles. Anyway, back to the OP: **Dennis the Menace vs. Doctor Doom** **Baby Huey vs. Darkseid** **Archie Andrews vs. Thanos w/Infinity Gauntlet** **Scooby Doo and Shaggy vs. The Incredible Hulk** ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/58 "2003-07-04T12:54:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fibber McGee \* > **Archie Andrews vs. Thanos w/Infinity Gauntlet** I enjoyed the specifics of this one. Because, you know, if Thanos \*isn’t \*wielding the Infinity Gauntlet, a battle with Archie could go on for _hours…_ ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/59 "2003-07-04T14:13:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fibber McGee \* > \*\*Baby Huey vs. Darkseid I dunno; Baby Huey is protected by the Negative IQ Equation, which states that any cartoon character with an IQ effectively less than zero cannot be harmed, because he is too stupid to realize that he’s in danger. Any attempt to harm him simply boomerangs back upon his assailant. This is in fact the most potent superpower in the known omniverse. ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/60 "2003-07-04T14:36:47Z")
But he can be harmed INDIRECTLY, since there’s nothing to boomerang to if nothing directly attacked him. So darksied could make a pit with a nuclear missle inside and baby huey woudl fall in, causing DEATH! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857.md?page=4)