# Very Short Battles between Comic Book Chracters **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 2, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857 "2003-07-02T20:07:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/61 "2003-07-04T15:05:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hebesphenomegacorona \* > \*\*But he can be harmed INDIRECTLY, since there’s nothing to boomerang to if nothing directly attacked him. So darksied could make a pit with a nuclear missle inside and baby huey woudl fall in, causing DEATH! \*\* Poppycock. Baby Huey has the ability of all negative-IQ characters to walk over pits, as long as he’s distracted by something else. And even if Huey was nuked, at worst the explosion would send him flying and cover him in soot. The shortest fight between major characters I’ve seen is the one-panel execution of Luther (Earth-2 version) by Braniac (Earth-1 version). ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/62 "2003-07-05T02:36:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lumpy \* > \*\*I dunno; Baby Huey is protected by the Negative IQ Equation, which states that any cartoon character with an IQ effectively less than zero cannot be harmed, because he is too stupid to realize that he’s in danger. Any attempt to harm him simply boomerangs back upon his assailant. This is in fact the most potent superpower in the known omniverse. \*\* But…what if Huey was attacked by an even STUPIDER character? Homer Simpson, perhaps? Or Peter Griffin? Well, Peter’s not really _stupid_…but his utter lack of good judgement might work just as well. ---
**Author:** ![Minor\_Irritant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Minor\_Irritant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minor_Irritant)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/63 "2003-07-05T03:35:10Z")
Gorilla Grodd vs. Chim-Chim, Speed Racer’s monkey ---
**Author:** ![zen101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c68b51/32.png) [@zen101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zen101)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/64 "2003-07-05T11:07:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Minor Irritant \* > \*\*Gorilla Grodd vs. Chim-Chim, Speed Racer’s monkey \*\* Chim Chim always fights as a tag team with Spridle and only for candy. Otherwise Grodd would have to know to look for the both of them in the trunk of the Mach 5. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/65 "2003-07-05T11:25:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BrainGlutton \* > \*\*Conan the Barbarian vs. Cherry Poptart > > Not exactly a FIGHT, but it would be over quick . . . \*\* I’ve read that one. She kicks him off a cliff afterwards. [sub]Oops…TMI…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/66 "2003-07-05T13:51:03Z")
Squirrel Girl vs. a really hungry Matter-Eater Lad (Hey, she took on Dr. Doom!) Dr. Doom vs. Batman (See? Armor-plated crotch!) Firestorm vs. Doug Ramsey (Cypher). Of course, if Doug’s dead, he can beat anyone… Black Adam vs. The Joker. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/67 "2003-07-05T15:12:11Z")
Barry Ween Vs Calvin & Hobbes ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/68 "2003-07-08T10:55:48Z")
The Watchmen vs. the Super Friends. Dr. Manhattan: “Man of steel? How bout man of gold, man of carbon, man of oxygen.” Zan and Jayna: “Wondertwins powers, acti…” Rorschach: “Do it again, broken arm. Not kidding” ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/69 "2003-07-08T20:00:39Z")
Green Arrow vs. The Punisher ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/70 "2003-07-09T14:35:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ranchoth \* > \*\*Green Arrow vs. The Punisher \*\* How would this be a short fight? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Finite\_Elephant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Finite\_Elephant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finite_Elephant)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2003, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/71 "2003-07-09T16:22:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Odinoneeye \* > \*\*The Watchmen vs. the Super Friends. > > Dr. Manhattan: “Man of steel? How bout man of gold, man of carbon, man of oxygen.” > > Zan and Jayna: “Wondertwins powers, acti…” > Rorschach: “Do it again, broken arm. Not kidding” \*\* LOL …man of cottage cheese… ---
**Author:** ![Ura-Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/51bf81/32.png) [@Ura-Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ura-Maru)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/72 "2003-07-14T19:34:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BMalion \* > \*\*How would this be a short fight? 😕 \*\* ## Not sure. Though in general, I’d bet on an angsty middle aged guy with a ton of guns over an angsty middle aged guy with a bow. 🙂 Longest and messiest fight: Immortal ronin Manji (Blade of the Immortal) vs. goth zombie guy from The Crow. Niether have any special ablity to resist damage, they just don’t die. Eventually it’d just be two balls of duct tape rolling at each other. ‘Guns and superheroes don’t mix!!’ ---
**Author:** ![N9IWP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/n9iwp/32/3154_2.png) [@N9IWP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N9IWP)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857/73 "2003-07-14T21:21:35Z")
Apocolypse(sp?) vs. Josie of Josie & the Pussycats Prof Xavier vs. Elemer Fudd Brian [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-short-battles-between-comic-book-chracters/185857.md?page=3)