# Very Stupid Thoughts -- Question for our Female Martyr...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-stupid-thoughts-question-for-our-female-martyr/91234
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [November 3, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-stupid-thoughts-question-for-our-female-martyr/91234 "2001-11-03T00:37:38Z")
**Posts on this page:** 13
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@SterlingNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SterlingNorth)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-stupid-thoughts-question-for-our-female-martyr/91234/1 "2001-11-03T00:37:38Z")
If a woman dies a martyr, does she get 72 male virgins servicing her? And what type of reward is that anyway – 72 boys groping and pawing her, trying to figure out what to do and what goes where? I guess that’s way there are so few female martyrs.
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### Author:  [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2001, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-stupid-thoughts-question-for-our-female-martyr/91234/2 "2001-11-03T01:37:59Z")
Are you refering to the Muslim heaven, or some disturbing fantasy?
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### Author:  [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-stupid-thoughts-question-for-our-female-martyr/91234/3 "2001-11-03T01:43:01Z")
Nonono… 72 Antonio Banderas look alikes, all submissivly awaiting your merest whim…
would that get you up for a bit 'o holy war…?
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### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2001, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-stupid-thoughts-question-for-our-female-martyr/91234/4 "2001-11-03T07:51:20Z")
I wouldn’t mind 72 Haley Joel Osments. I’d be more than happy to show them what goes where!
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### Author:  [@moe.ron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moe.ron)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2001, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-stupid-thoughts-question-for-our-female-martyr/91234/5 "2001-11-03T08:15:33Z")
Oops. I thought this was a Miss Cleo thread. Back to your regularly scheduled program
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### Author:  [@SterlingNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SterlingNorth)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2001, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-stupid-thoughts-question-for-our-female-martyr/91234/6 "2001-11-03T20:54:58Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Speaker for the Dead \*
> \*\*Are you refering to the Muslim heaven, or some disturbing fantasy? \*\*
I don’t remember my state of mind at the time I posed this, but if I said disturbing fantasy, the 72 male virgins would be the least disturbing thing about it.
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### Author:  [@The\_Raven\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Raven_1)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2001, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-stupid-thoughts-question-for-our-female-martyr/91234/7 "2001-11-03T22:32:12Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Rilchiam \*
> \*\*I wouldn’t mind 72 Haley Joel Osments. I’d be more than happy to show them what goes where! \*\*
Howyadoin,
Am I getting whooshed, or is that a pedo reference?
☹
-Rav
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### Author:  [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)
#### Post date: [November 20, 2001, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-stupid-thoughts-question-for-our-female-martyr/91234/8 "2001-11-20T01:01:08Z")
Sterling\_North, does our female martyr get a mix of 72 male virgins? Or does she have to settle for 72 clones of the same man? Seriously, I think that muslim women have to settle for continuing their activities in heaven as they did on earth–their reward is merely continuing to serve their menfolk.
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### Author:  [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)
#### Post date: [November 20, 2001, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-stupid-thoughts-question-for-our-female-martyr/91234/9 "2001-11-20T01:40:21Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Rilchiam \*
> \*\*I wouldn’t mind 72 Haley Joel Osments. I’d be more than happy to show them what goes where! \*\*
Uh, yeah, what The\_Raven said. Huh?
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [November 20, 2001, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-stupid-thoughts-question-for-our-female-martyr/91234/10 "2001-11-20T04:33:28Z")
I think Muslim female martyrs get 72 non-gay, totally ripped, Chippendale dancers.
Can’t you just picture it…
Li li li li! Y…M…C…A Li! li! li…!
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### Author:  [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)
#### Post date: [November 20, 2001, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-stupid-thoughts-question-for-our-female-martyr/91234/11 "2001-11-20T05:03:34Z")
So if 72 (or however many) lucious, lubricious young things, male or female, plop down as afterlife sex toys to service one person, wouldn’t they have had to live exemplary lives themselves just to get admitted?
But wait…what if they were real stinkers and their _punishment_ was to service an old goat of either gender? Talk about equal parts boredom and degradation. C’mon, no self-respecting afterlife tosses souls around just for window dressing.
::shudders::
Sheesh. It’s enough to make oblivion positively attractive.
Veb
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [November 20, 2001, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-stupid-thoughts-question-for-our-female-martyr/91234/12 "2001-11-20T05:13:27Z")
Depends on the woman - if she’s martyred on the taught side of 40, maybe she would fooloishly blow into heaven like Judy Garland with 72 uselessly buff chorus boys on her arm.
But I once worked with an old guy in his 80’s who got endless action just by showing up at widows’ houses with a Sears Craftsman toolbox. (and there I was sweating payments for the same purpose to less effect on used car!) After a certain age, a woman still has the same physical needs, but it’s hard to open the throttle on them while the place is going to pieces all around.
A fool’s paradise is a big party with dry-ice couds. A smart man or woman’s paradise is a place of secure property values.
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### Author:  [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)
#### Post date: [November 20, 2001, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-stupid-thoughts-question-for-our-female-martyr/91234/13 "2001-11-20T05:43:02Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TVeblen \*
> \*\*So if 72 (or however many) lucious, lubricious young things, male or female, plop down as afterlife sex toys to service one person, wouldn’t they have had to live exemplary lives themselves just to get admitted?
> \*\*
Actually, **Veb** , I don’t they’re actually human at all, in the sense of having lived as a human on earth, then dying and going to paradise. They’re “provided” by Allah as a reward for the warrior faithful. At least that’s my understanding.