# Very vaguely creepy

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [November 9, 2003, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228 "2003-11-09T14:10:37Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/1 "2003-11-09T14:10:37Z")

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I decided to try my hand at slow-cooking a rack of baby back ribs in my large, super deluxe charcoal grill yesterday afternoon (they turned out very well, BTW).

But as I was standing there in the gathering twilight I heard a rustling sound which seemed to surround me.

I looked into my neighbor’s leaf-filled backyard and saw dozens of black birds walking along through the dead leaves. They weren’t crows, just small-to-medium-sized black birds. And they were walking. Walking through the leaves, toward the back of my neighbor’s yard. The leaves made the rustling noise I’d heard, and it was interspersed with little cheeps from random birds. Dozens of birds. Walking. A phalanx of black birds walking through dead leaves. Shuffling, rustling, chirping.

Some of them flew into the trees beyond our property lines and gathered in the branches. More joined them, both in the trees and on the ground. Walking. Shuffling. Rustling. Chirping.

Then the wind picked up from the west and, as if in response to some signal, all the birds picked up and flew away to the east.

It was quietly disturbing and Hitchcockian in the extreme.

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**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/2 "2003-11-09T14:42:58Z")

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Tweet.

Chirp.

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**Author:** ![Hot\_Buttered\_Toast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b38774/32.png) [@Hot\_Buttered\_Toast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hot_Buttered_Toast)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/3 "2003-11-09T14:46:32Z")

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Your neighbour is experimenting on birds with a mind-control ray to create an army of feathered fiends!

:eek: Run while you can!

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**Author:** ![JRootabega](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e7dd6/32.png) [@JRootabega](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRootabega)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/4 "2003-11-09T15:36:29Z")

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It is Vorador!! His arrival is nigh!

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**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/5 "2003-11-09T15:43:31Z")

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Nevermore.

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**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/6 "2003-11-09T15:48:32Z")

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Norman, is that you?

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**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/7 "2003-11-09T15:49:32Z")

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Can I keep my lovebirds?

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**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/8 "2003-11-09T17:48:00Z")

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Did the birds look at you? Are you _marked_ now?

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**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/9 "2003-11-09T18:08:13Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Hot Buttered Toast \*  
> \*\*Your neighbour is experimenting on birds with a mind-control ray to create an army of feathered fiends!
> 
> :eek: Run while you can! \*\*

A 1920’s-style mind-control ray!  
Someone had to say it…

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**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/10 "2003-11-09T18:43:00Z")

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[The Counting Black Crows] That lamb sure smells real good. Yummmm. . . tasty lamb with a peck or two of Wavy Dave. Oh wait, somebody’s putting a drifter through their chipper. . . Com’ on guys![/TCBC]

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**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/11 "2003-11-09T18:52:29Z")

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I burning you birds 🙂

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**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/12 "2003-11-09T22:36:13Z")

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Noticed a huge London Plane tree today that was seemingly engulfed by thousands of small birds, starlings, sparrows, who knows. The racket they made was almost deafening. Not used to seeing so many so close together. Took about 3 nanoseconds to conjure up some of the creepier scenes in “The Birds.” At one point someone must’ve blown the whistle, because they all took flight. Wonder who they’ll give pause to next.

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**Author:** ![Sqube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aca169/32.png) [@Sqube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sqube)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/13 "2003-11-09T23:16:54Z")

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That’s awesome. That’s the kind of thing I would like to see. And film. And show to future generations. And make up all types of Hitchcockian stories. Like you remember the one where the thing happened to the guy after he did it to the stuff? Just like that.

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**Author:** ![Snite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Snite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snite)\
**Post date:** [November 9, 2003, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/14 "2003-11-09T23:52:00Z")

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Black birds are servants of the Dark. Spying and baring a cloak of foreboding, they can always be found in locations of interest to the Dark. Perhaps your neighbor has become involved in the war between Light and Dark. Maybe he possess one of the Things of Power?  
Psychopachik Vampire

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**Author:** ![LadySybil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c89c15/32.png) [@LadySybil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadySybil)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/15 "2003-11-10T00:53:31Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Maybe he possess one of the Things of Power?

**DAVEW0071** , are you friends with the Ringbearer?:eek:

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**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/16 "2003-11-10T01:00:45Z")

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Or maybe your neighbor has an evil serial killer doppelganger a la The Dark Half by Stephen King.

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**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/17 "2003-11-10T05:26:18Z")

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Obligatory [link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30758) to previous V.V.C. Thread.  
(The good stuff starts around page three or so. Read with the lights out, at night, for best effect.)  
What is it with the birds today?

The Skeezling and I were out in the back yard this afternoon. After I’d been pushing her on her swing for about five minutes, something that _seemed_ at the time to be roughly the size of a 707 buzzed through the yard at head height.

I looked up and gave up counting the birds o’ prey (hawks or peregrines or whatever they were, I wasn’t sure) at around fifteen. My daughter claims they were eagles, but she’s two.

They were everywhere.

If any had made any aggressive moves our way, considering the size of them, I’d have snatched her up and gotten her in the house. They seemed content to stay at about the level of our rooftop, after that close inspection fly-by, but day-um.

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**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/18 "2003-11-10T06:14:34Z")

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You all are being marked…  
you only get one warning.

Sorry… tryin’ to be all dramatic-like, hee hee!

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**Author:** ![Aankh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@Aankh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aankh)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/19 "2003-11-10T06:50:41Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by SanguineSpider \*  
> \*\*Sorry… tryin’ to be all dramatic-like, hee hee! \*\*

_shakes head sadly_  
Hee hee?

**Sanguine** , **Sanguine** …that’s not how one does dramatic. You have so much to learn, little grasshopper. The rules for being all dramatic-like are as follows:

Rule 1: Make Tim the Enchanter your role-model.

Rule 2: Appear and disappear out of thin air.

Rule 3: If you can’t manage the ‘out of thin air’ bit, wear a long black cloak and make sure it billows appropriately while you appear and disappear.

Rule 4: If possible, ensure that a strong gust of wind making a ‘whooooo’ noise accompanies your arrival and departure. No other type of sound is admissible.

Rule 5: Talk in as deep and slow a voice as you can muster. L…i…ke…th…i…s.

Rule 6: When someone approaches to talk to you, do not make a direct response to anything. Instead, in your deep, slow voice, make a profound and cryptic remark. For instance, the person says, “How you doin’, mate?”, so you reply, “Crave not for that, for yon lies the end! THE ENNNND!!!”.

Rule 7: Do NOT hee-hee, or tee-hee, or any other version of expressing positive emotion. No!

I hope that sets you on the right path.

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**Author:** ![MisterThyristor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecccb3/32.png) [@MisterThyristor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MisterThyristor)\
**Post date:** [November 10, 2003, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228/20 "2003-11-10T07:11:06Z")

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Your location says North and West of the city – the city wouldn’t happen to be Nashville, would it?

I’m thinkin’ “Tennessee Bird Walk”. (Is that what you were hinting at, **Mr. Blue Sky**?)

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/very-vaguely-creepy/212228.md?page=2)
