# Victorian phrase for sex **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 14, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926 "2000-10-14T21:36:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dumbguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dumbguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dumbguy)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926/1 "2000-10-14T21:36:34Z")
I need a term for sex between a husband and wife that would sound appropriate for a journal written by a 19th century Irish noblewoman. She’s writing that her man isn’t exercising his ‘husbandly privilege’ or something to that effect. Any ideas? It doesn’t need to be completely accurate historically. It mostly just needs to sound good. ---
**Author:** ![sethdallob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@sethdallob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sethdallob)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926/2 "2000-10-14T21:49:34Z")
I don’t know what the phrase would be, but there is a dictionary-stlye book called “Depraved English” that is chock-full of what you are looking for. ---
**Author:** ![AHadley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@AHadley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHadley)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926/3 "2000-10-14T22:06:24Z")
[http://204.95.207.136/vbulletin/images/smilies/wavey.gif](http://204.95.207.136/vbulletin/images/smilies/wavey.gif) ---
**Author:** ![AHadley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@AHadley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHadley)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926/4 "2000-10-14T22:15:17Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by AHadley \* \*\*[img] ---
**Author:** ![AHadley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@AHadley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHadley)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926/5 "2000-10-14T22:16:50Z")
And **whyyyy** am I unable to edit myself, Hmmmm?? ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926/6 "2000-10-14T22:41:44Z")
Tending the fields Exploring the wilderness Plunging his sword into the wild beast, scabbard and all Having his cup runeth over Being the horse to Catherine the Great Riding bareback through the stables A pirate’s invasion Solving the potato famine Turning the queen into a commoner ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926/7 "2000-10-14T22:50:04Z")
‘Marital Duties’ ---
**Author:** ![They\_Call\_Me\_Sneeze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@They\_Call\_Me\_Sneeze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/They_Call_Me_Sneeze)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2000, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926/8 "2000-10-14T23:04:23Z")
how about revealing himself before the lord? some old writer guy - i forget who, but the name started with an f, or a k, or else it was the guy who wrote ‘the story of o’ (or something like that) - used it to say that when his characters were getting naked. but since i guess you need a metaphor for sex, it doesnt help you at all. maybe you could use it in conjunction with one of the metaphors supplied by enderw23.[assume victorian tone of voice] “julia was distraught over the fact that clifford’s cup no longer ran over when she revealed herself before the lord. she feared that he was making his cup run over himself, which would have explained why his right hand always smelled like baby lotion.” they probably didnt have baby lotion back then, though. sigh… ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2000, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926/9 "2000-10-15T00:16:28Z")
I think all these euphemisms were current in the 19th century (except perhaps the last): \*\* to sleep with to make love to have relations to lie with to keep the marriage bed to keep company with\*\* Another word, _swive_ was commonly used to mean “to copulate with”, but I don’t know if it was still current in the 19th century. ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2000, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926/10 "2000-10-15T00:19:34Z")
Remember, the act is not complete until the woman is “spent.” ---
**Author:** ![tubagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b77776/32.png) [@tubagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tubagirl)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2000, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926/11 "2000-10-15T01:13:02Z")
conjugal right? ---
**Author:** ![yESTERDAY\_mAN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a87d85/32.png) [@yESTERDAY\_mAN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yESTERDAY_mAN)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2000, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926/12 "2000-10-15T01:22:44Z")
A quick handshake in the dark. Or a slow handshake, depending on the couple. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2000, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926/13 "2000-10-15T01:50:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw23 \* > > Being the horse to Catherine the Great Now, now, I thought you’d [know better](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_109.html) than that, \*\*Enderw23. ---
**Author:** ![Dumbguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dumbguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dumbguy)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2000, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926/14 "2000-10-15T06:22:38Z")
We went with ‘marital duties’. I like the idea of making it sound like a chore. Thanks for the suggestions. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2000, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/victorian-phrase-for-sex/36926/15 "2000-10-15T19:10:52Z")
**AHadley** , the image tag is turned off primarily because we had a lot of problems with bandwidth stealing. As for editing or deleting your posts, it would be nice, but it would give troublemakers way too much power. If you have something that really needs editing, you can drop an e-mail to the moderator of the forum (myself or **manhattan** here in GQ), and we’ll do it for you.