# Video games that would NEVER see the light of day **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 20, 2007, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363 "2007-10-20T02:01:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/41 "2007-10-20T19:48:14Z")
[QUOTE=A Monkey With a Gun] **Video Game - The Video Game** RPG where you play a 20 year old frat boy addicted to a FPS. Strategy is paramount. Mountain Dew or Red Bull? You decide. Contains the mini game : Making Ramen Noodles [/QUOTE] Hmmm…should I wear my pink polo shirt with the collar popped, or my salmon polo shirt with the collar popped? ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/42 "2007-10-20T19:49:57Z")
PETA Wars: Throw red paint on the fur wearers, move up in the ranks, and soon you’ll be releasing dangerously infectious animals back in the wild. Multi-player so don’t let your opponants find out about your secret fishing habit or you’re back on protesting the local KFC duty. Bonus games allow you to compare animal testing to the Holocaust or the speed round (How many euthanized animals can you put in a dumpster in one minute?) Abandoned Cat 2.0: Sequel to the now famous Abandoned Cat. Now **YOU the human** are the one taken out naked into the middle of the desert and left. Make it back to civilization and you win. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/43 "2007-10-20T20:12:11Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] “Tell Me More!” While we’re on that tangent: Waterworld: The Game. [/QUOTE] A Waterworld game was released for Nintendo’s VirtualBoy. It’s supposed to be pretty good. ETA Games like High School Dealer do exist. I haven’t seen one in a while but they used to be homewritten and found on bulletin boards. There actually was a program called Ford Simulator in the eighties. It simulated driving an average car in average conditions. It was meant as an aid in learning to drive. I’m surprised somebody hasn’t come out with another one. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/44 "2007-10-20T21:02:43Z")
WetBack Fever! First you must sneak across the boarder, then find a job and a place to stay with 27 other players. Then aviod INS. ---
**Author:** ![enigm4tic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@enigm4tic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigm4tic)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/45 "2007-10-20T21:27:38Z")
[QUOTE=bouv] Hmmm…should I wear my pink polo shirt with the collar popped, or my salmon polo shirt with the collar popped? [/QUOTE] FRAT, the game! Should you drink that extra beer? As your level of beer goggles goes up, its more difficult to decide if that blonde is merely chubby or grossly overweight! Find out in the morning! Try to avoid unfortunate obstacles like syphilis and herpes. If you get HIV, your game is OVER forever! ---
**Author:** ![Pithy\_Moniker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8dc957/32.png) [@Pithy\_Moniker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pithy_Moniker)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/46 "2007-10-20T21:52:29Z")
Kazoo Hero Square Dance Revolution Mortal Kooperation This could be addictive. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2007, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/47 "2007-10-20T22:31:24Z")
_Studio 60 - The Game_ - round after round of sexually charged arguments leading nowhere except to a deepening emotional attachment that is half love, half hostility. Player can choose to be Matt or Harriet. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_of\_the\_Felines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/b5e925/32.png) [@Queen\_of\_the\_Felines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_of_the_Felines)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2007, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/48 "2007-10-21T02:20:02Z")
Pedomon: Gotta molest 'em all! Golden Girls Extreme Beach Volleyball Jeffrey Dahmer’s Diner Dash Guitar Hero: Norweigan Death Metal Edition Where in the World is This Week’s Missing White Woman? Goatse: The Game Nothing But Crates, Barrels, and Mineshafts! I would SO play CFC 2000. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2007, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/49 "2007-10-21T02:25:32Z")
_Sex Trafficker._ ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2007, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/50 "2007-10-21T02:32:27Z")
[QUOTE=Queen of the Felines] Nothing But Crates, Barrels, and Mineshafts! [/QUOTE] I could have sworn I played that once. As I recall, you have to push the crates around to get out of the mineshafts. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2007, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/51 "2007-10-21T03:02:46Z")
•_[Unico and the Island of Magic](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unico#Unico_Anime)—The Game!_ (Unrated) •_Hetero Honky Hatcheter [sup]2[/sup]: God-jockey Gore-job!_ •_Final Fantasy: Happily Ever After, The End_ ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2007, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/52 "2007-10-21T04:07:32Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] A few years ago, I had an idea an idea for an RTS that would be WWII fought with magic. England would have druidic henges and fairy allies. America would have magic factories churning out enchanted tanks and planes. The Nazis would be necromancers, and have concentration camps as resource generators. [/QUOTE] It makes me sad to see this included in this thread. Because I know you’re right, it really wouldn’t see the light of day. But I would LOVE to play that game. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2007, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/53 "2007-10-21T05:29:12Z")
[QUOTE=rayh] **9-11** the game. Sneak onto an airplane with bolt cutters, overpower the pilots. Can you hit the twin towers with a jet? [/QUOTE] Bolt cutters? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2007, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/54 "2007-10-21T05:38:30Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] A few years ago, I had an idea an idea for an RTS that would be WWII fought with magic. England would have druidic henges and fairy allies. America would have magic factories churning out enchanted tanks and planes. The Nazis would be necromancers, and have concentration camps as resource generators. [/QUOTE] This would be a cool game: [ul] [li]The Soviets would have trolls, dwarves, and ice demons, and would get power from ley lines in Mother Russia itself.[/li][li]The Japanese would have samurai, ninjas, and ancestral spirits to possess both normal Japanese soldiers and captured slaves and turn them into suicide bombers, and would get power from the oceans.[/li][li]The Chinese would have dragons and fighting monks, and would get power from the souls of the people.[/li][li]The Italians would have the remaining pantheon of Roman gods and centurions made from normal soldiers, and would get power from the original spirit of Fascism.[/li][li]The Australians would have the Dream Time and Aboriginal shamans, and would get power from Uluru and the Outback.[/li][li]The Americans would have the option of tapping Navajo magic to create uncrackable codes.[/li][/ul] The game-winning weapon is a bomb that removes all magic from a region and turns the energy into a massive blast of force. The magic-less land drains the life out of anyone who tries to live there until it can heal. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2007, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/55 "2007-10-21T06:41:13Z")
To **Miller** and **Derleth** - thanks. This “magic war” discussion just made me feel like I was a stoned college freshman again. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2007, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/56 "2007-10-21T09:18:39Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] The “It’s a Small World” FPS. [/QUOTE] The first Rainbow Six had a hostage rescue mission in a theme-park ride that was loosely based on “It’s a Small World”. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2007, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/57 "2007-10-21T09:38:50Z")
The RTC (real time cookery) game **Stew vs. Casserole** might lack mass a mass audience. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2007, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/58 "2007-10-21T15:12:15Z")
Guitar Hero-Muzak edition. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/59 "2007-10-22T01:30:46Z")
Rashomon: Gotta play it again. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2007, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363/60 "2007-10-22T01:33:02Z")
[QUOTE=SaintCad] PETA Wars: Throw red paint on the fur wearers, move up in the ranks, and soon you’ll be releasing dangerously infectious animals back in the wild. Multi-player so don’t let your opponants find out about your secret fishing habit or you’re back on protesting the local KFC duty. Bonus games allow you to compare animal testing to the Holocaust or the speed round (How many euthanized animals can you put in a dumpster in one minute?) Abandoned Cat 2.0: Sequel to the now famous Abandoned Cat. Now **YOU the human** are the one taken out naked into the middle of the desert and left. Make it back to civilization and you win. [/QUOTE] Reminds me of that parody of Deer Hunter I saw awhile back where the deer hunt the humans. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/video-games-that-would-never-see-the-light-of-day/423363.md?page=4)