# Vile Concoctions-Hard Alcohol Division **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 25, 2011, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053 "2011-08-25T16:27:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![aesop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f8ce5/32.png) [@aesop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aesop)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2011, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/61 "2011-08-27T08:56:11Z")
Jaegermeister tastes like a more palatable form of Unicum, which isn’t saying much. Either would make a good insecticide. Hungary has a wide variety of [palinkas](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P%C3%A1linka) – fruit brandies – that are not for the faint of heart. They will put hair on your chest. Your tongue and teeth, too. My wife and I saw these (possibly NSFW) in Prague: [http://www.sandraprerov.com/vessper.htm](http://www.sandraprerov.com/vessper.htm) Didn’t try them. My guess is they taste…creamy? ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2011, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/62 "2011-08-27T22:13:48Z")
Wild Irish Rose, tequila, and any kind of whiskey make me deathly, deathly ill, straight, diluted, or mixed. No can do. I like everything else, within reason - a shot of straight vodka, going down and exploding in my brain is a wonderful and powerful experience (for about 10 minutes and then I regret it, so I haven’t done that in years.) I like expensive gin - gin, lime, and tonic - too much, so haven’t done that in years, either. (I would have been a real alkie back in England in the olden days, when the taverns advertised ‘drunk for a half penny, dead drunk for a whole penny’). I digress. If I had nothing alcoholic available to drink except tequila, I would be a complete tee-totaller - what is in that stuff??? ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/63 "2011-08-28T00:09:01Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > (I would have been a real alkie back in England in the olden days, when the taverns advertised ‘drunk for a half penny, dead drunk for a whole penny’) Dammit, where did I put that time machine? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/64 "2011-08-28T04:58:04Z")
> [@aesop](#): > > Hungary has a wide variety of [palinkas](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P%C3%A1linka) – fruit brandies – that are not for the faint of heart. They will put hair on your chest. Your tongue and teeth, too. These sorts of brandies can be found throughout Europe under various names. For example, kirschwasser, slivovitz, grappa, schnapps in general (but not the sweetened stuff that is more well-known in America.) These are actually some of my favorite alcoholic drinks (especially slivovitz), but they can be a little surprising when you hear something described as “apricot brandy” and you’re expecting something sweet and fruity. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/65 "2011-08-28T11:43:02Z")
Campari. It looks like it would be delicious, but it tastes like kerosene. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/66 "2011-08-28T12:54:42Z")
I quite like the taste of Jager. I find it quite refreshing. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/67 "2011-08-28T16:21:01Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > Campari. It looks like it would be delicious, but it tastes like kerosene. Uhhhgg… I’d forgotten about Campari. It’s like cough syrup with quinine in it. Medicinal and overwhelmingly bitter. I had a Campari & soda in Italy, when I read that’s something that Italians typically do, and figured I’d give it a shot. That’s the only time I’ll ever do that. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/68 "2011-08-28T21:06:03Z")
My evil dad’s drink was a dry martini (4 parts gin, 1 part dry vermouth). I couldn’t stand it. Later, I figured out that I love gin, and I hate vermouth. I could go with a Hawkeye Pierce dry martini. That’s two ounces of gin, and you show it a picture of the man who invented vermouth. Most vodka is simple grain alcohol, watered down to proof. It’s filtered until it doesn’t taste like anything. Actually, gin is the same thing, flavored with juniper berries and some other stuff. If you like straight vodka, you might like Indiana vodka. After all the filtering, they add some of the toasted corn flavor it originally had. Many Americans came out of Prohibition, and all the way through WW II, thinking of whiskey as something nasty that you slugged down with squinted eyes and gritted teeth. It was even passed down to my generation. That’s a shame, because there are delicious whiskeys out there that you can savor and appreciate. Even today, guys get together and “do shots.” They knock back shots of whiskey or tequila so quickly, they can’t even taste what they’re drinking. If that’s the point, you might as well slug down Everclear, which is nearly straight grain alcohol. You might wonder why Everclear isn’t sold as 200 proof, 100% alcohol. A chemist told me, pure alcohol absorbs water vapor from the air. A glass full of pure grain alcohol will overflow with absorbed water until it reaches about 190 proof. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/69 "2011-08-28T21:15:55Z")
My evil dad’s drink was a dry martini (4 parts gin, 1 part dry vermouth). I couldn’t stand it. Later, I figured out that I love gin, and I hate vermouth. I could go with a Hawkeye Pierce dry martini. That’s two ounces of gin, and you show it a picture of the man who invented vermouth. Most vodka is simple grain alcohol, watered down to proof. It’s filtered until it doesn’t taste like anything. Actually, gin is the same thing, flavored with juniper berries and some other stuff. If you like straight vodka, you might like Indiana vodka. After all the filtering, they add some of the toasted corn flavor it originally had. Many Americans came out of Prohibition, and all the way through WW II, thinking of whiskey as something nasty that you slugged down with squinted eyes and gritted teeth. It was even passed down to my generation. That’s a shame, because there are delicious whiskeys out there that you can savor and appreciate. Even today, guys get together and “do shots.” They knock back shots of whiskey or tequila so quickly, they can’t even taste what they’re drinking. If that’s the point, you might as well slug down Everclear, which is nearly straight grain alcohol. You might wonder why Everclear isn’t sold as 200 proof, 100% alcohol. A chemist told me, pure alcohol absorbs water vapor from the air. A glass full of pure grain alcohol will overflow with absorbed water until it reaches about 190 proof. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/70 "2011-08-29T02:10:51Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > Try this: go to ten different bars, and ask for a Tom Collins in each. Determine how many: 1) Bring you gin 2) Bring you vodka 3) Ask what you want. I will wager that gin comes \<=10% of the time, and 3 will probably be the result only a few times. Vodka has become the default for these. I got a Collins the other day and ended up with vodka, even after asking three times. I don’t begrudge people who want vodka, just wish specification wasn’t necessary. Actually I’m surprised how many of them don’t even know what it is. One of my siblings loves these, yet usually only gets them when they’re home made. I don’t like syrupy sweet stuff, especially if it’s fruity. Sweet is ok if it’s countered with bitter (like Campari…mmm burnt tires) or mixed (I’m not going to drink a glass of Cointreau.) I don’t really do shots; I’d rather have something delicious to drink slowly. > [@AskNott](#): > > You might wonder why Everclear isn’t sold as 200 proof, 100% alcohol. A chemist told me, pure alcohol absorbs water vapor from the air. A glass full of pure grain alcohol will overflow with absorbed water until it reaches about 190 proof. In fact, you can’t even get over 95% by distilling a water/ethanol mixture. Azeotropic distillation with benzene is often used (don’t drink this!) Molecular sieves will also mop up most of the remaining water. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/71 "2011-08-29T02:35:10Z")
> [@An\_Gadai](#): > > I hate Ouzo. Most other drinks are ok in small doses. Next on the list would be Laphroaig or Chartreuse. I also hate Ouzo. I don’t think it helps that the first time I tasted it, I’d brought a date to [_Umberto’s_](http://www.hotelvilladelia.com/restaurant_umbertos.cfm) and the waiter paid us the favour of bringing us hot chocolate spiked with it. The idea was that it _discreet_ - this was unmentionable decades ago, we were underage, and nobody would look twice at teenagers drinking hot chocolate. But seriously, _ouzo?_ Rum would have been better. Vodka, something neutral. That shit may as well have been laced with dry cleaning fluid. Blecccch. Anyway, I suppose it’s possible that I wouldn’t hate ouzo shots as much as I do today if not for that… but I doubt it. Cointreau also tastes like something that might be found at the bottom of a Christmas stocking that’s had a couple of oranges left in it, recovered from the attic some time in July. Vile. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/72 "2011-08-29T14:46:44Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > Cointreau also tastes like something that might be found at the bottom of a Christmas stocking that’s had a couple of oranges left in it, recovered from the attic some time in July. Vile. Cointreau is another one of those liqueurs that’s usually meant for mixing\*; I’ve never heard of people drinking it straight, and it’s not even the primary ingredient in any cocktail I’ve heard of. - along with orange curacao, Kahlua, Cherry Heering, Maraschino, Benedictine, Galliano, etc… ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/73 "2011-08-29T17:13:08Z")
For me it’s absinthe, even with water and sugar added that anise flavor gags me. Moonshine runs a close second. Can’t beat that flavor of rubbing alcohol with overtones of skunky hard cider. ---
**Author:** ![HoboStew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f17d59/32.png) [@HoboStew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoboStew)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/74 "2011-08-29T17:36:09Z")
The absolute foulest thing I have ever tasted in my life is [Cynar](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cynar) - artichoke liqueur. Tastes as good as it sounds. I have also once had the unpleasant experience of drinking habanero tequila, which had the amusing effect of going down relatively smoothly, then detonating like an atomic bomb in your stomach. My buddy served it at a party he threw where people kept trickling in, so a new wave would arrive and we would have them each take a shot (since they hadn’t seen it destroy the people who tried it before them), then take pictures as they slowly started to unravel. One guy threw it right back up, after one shot, almost immediately. Ahh memories. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/75 "2011-08-29T18:13:45Z")
> [@scabpicker](#): > > Gin, Gin, Gin, Gin, Gin – that crap tastes like hairspray. At least Jägermeister and Southern Comfort have a sweet/sickly taste to go with the alcohol. I’m sipping a tequila that purports itself to be 100% agave and doesn’t taste half bad, that’s on sale for less than 11$/750ml. Monopolowa vodka’s usually less than 12$/750ml, and I think it’s better than most high dollar vodkas. There’s no reason to drink crap, people, and no reason to go broke getting drunk. > > ok, I’m gonna go to bed now Gin is misunderstood. You don’t ‘acquire a taste for gin’. Gin kills off all the tastebuds that complain. ---
**Author:** ![aesop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f8ce5/32.png) [@aesop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aesop)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/76 "2011-08-29T18:49:21Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > These sorts of brandies can be found throughout Europe under various names. For example, kirschwasser, slivovitz, grappa, schnapps in general (but not the sweetened stuff that is more well-known in America.) These are actually some of my favorite alcoholic drinks (especially slivovitz), but they can be a little surprising when you hear something described as “apricot brandy” and you’re expecting something sweet and fruity. Yes, central Europe is home to many semi-poisonous spirits. Apricot palinka is sweet and fruity exactly the same way formaldehyde is sweet and fruity. Truth be told, I am a fan of the stuff, but for the uninitiated it can be an ordeal. Drinking palinka is like frying bacon in the nude – the end result is sublime, but there is serious pain along the way. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2011, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/77 "2011-08-30T05:47:56Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > Actually I’m surprised how many of them don’t even know what it is. One of my siblings loves these, yet usually only gets them when they’re home made. I ordered one, (same place as above) and was initially told they were out of mix. Collins mix is essentially sugar, water, lemon juice, and club soda. The people around me were ordering various combinations of the above. I had Chartreuse once, just to say I did (the yellow, I think). Ouf. Definitely a winter drink. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2011, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/78 "2011-08-30T05:59:28Z")
I saw one tonight called “Colorado Cider”. A shot of apple Schnapps A shot of Brandy A shot of Firewater 100 proof Cinnamon schnapps A splash of apple juice ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2011, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/79 "2011-08-30T06:24:54Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > I saw one tonight called “Colorado Cider”. > > A shot of apple Schnapps > A shot of Brandy > A shot of Firewater 100 proof Cinnamon schnapps > A splash of apple juice That sounds tasty! ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2011, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053/80 "2011-08-30T12:34:31Z")
> [@LouiseE](#): > > Scotch. Ick. The problem with scotch is the barrier to entry. Anything less than 12 years and about $50 IS awful stuff. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-concoctions-hard-alcohol-division/594053.md?page=5)