# Vile, rank 'foodstuffs' **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 14, 2003, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494 "2003-01-14T11:04:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/61 "2003-01-15T16:10:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gary Kumquat \* > \*\*Now that sir is fighting talk. I demand satisfaction, or you can post me a jar of vegemite. Or marmite, either will do. \*\* Do you want to pit him, or shall I? ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/62 "2003-01-15T16:15:14Z")
Kraft Dinner: I love it. Even though it’s vile. Same for Mr Noodle. I am comfortable with this contradiction, and eat lots of organic broccoli to appease the gods because of it. But the most vile, which would never cross my lips, no matter what the incentive: **Jellied eels**. Who ever thought that was a good idea? “Hey, this eel isn’t quite doing it for me. How can we improve the flavour? … Oh, I know …” ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/63 "2003-01-15T16:41:29Z")
Okay, jellied eels, sure. Kraft Krap, no problem. Miracle Whip, I gotcher back. But onions? Blueberries?! For the sweet sweet love of Jesus and Mary, pumpkin pie? What the hell is wrong with you people? I’m afraid I can’t help your onion- and pie-phobias, but there may be help for you blueberry-haters: try some wild blueberries. Whereas domestic blueberries are bland viscous balls of sweetened yuck, wild blueberries are tart and flavorful and thrilling, the apex of summer in the mountains. And there’s nothing in the world better than a wild blueberry pie. If you want really gross food – and I mean really, really, really, really, really gross food, the kind of thing that Bugs Bunny coughs up after 20 years of smoking – try uni. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/64 "2003-01-15T16:50:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DanielWithrow \* > **I’m afraid I can’t help your onion- and pie-phobias, but there may be help for you blueberry-haters: try some wild blueberries. Whereas domestic blueberries are bland viscous balls of sweetened yuck, wild blueberries are tart and flavorful and thrilling, the apex of summer in the mountains. And there’s nothing in the world better than a wild blueberry pie.** Every time I’ve ever had wild blueberries (or domestic) they still had those nastily textured seeds in them. And they still have the flavor of blueberries, but more so. That fails to make them edible. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/65 "2003-01-15T16:55:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*Do you want to pit him, or shall I? \*\* Pitting is too good for the philistine. ---
**Author:** ![curly\_chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@curly\_chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curly_chick)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/66 "2003-01-15T16:57:51Z")
At the risk of being banned from these boards by the patriotic Americans, I cannot help but state that the vilest, most purtid and rank, awful and rotten foostuff ever created has to be peanut butter - The phlegm of the Devil Yes, I have tried it in America. With jam/jelly. And yes, I love Marmite (Maybe that’s it - the two are mutually exclusive) ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/67 "2003-01-15T16:59:13Z")
American cheese. Gah! Disgusting. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/68 "2003-01-15T17:02:34Z")
Peanut Butter’s texture is nothing like phlegm – closer to pus, or poop. But not phlegm. And it’s tasty. Back off, man! Daniel ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/69 "2003-01-15T18:18:16Z")
I have a dear friend who I once observed boil a brick of Mr Noodles, drain them, toss on a slice of American Cheese, and slather with ketchup. All he needed was some Miracle Whip, he must have run out. … am in the process of teaching him how to cook. **curly** : I am a fan of both peanut butter AND marmite. (But never at the same time!) Are there others like me? ---
**Author:** ![guy\_from\_wpa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5e9695/32.png) [@guy\_from\_wpa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guy_from_wpa)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/70 "2003-01-15T21:11:30Z")
These are all things I have sold in the deli: Sous–clear jelly with random bits of leftover meat byproducts Headcheese (the name reminds me of something else disgusting) Blood Tounge (I don’t want to eat any think that can taste me back) Pickled Pigs Feet (looks like rotting flesh in a jar) ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/71 "2003-01-15T22:05:42Z")
Wow, you all have covered some good ground here. A french lesson from Mangetout (more on this later), some interesting takes on foods, and a couple of great inter-country food slams. Mangetout, when I first saw your name I honestly thought it was mange tout. As in one who goes door-to-door extroling the vitrues of pet skin diseases. Which, I gotta say, made me wonder about any comments you might have. Later it switched in my mind to, “man get out.” This didn’t make any more sense but it did make me feel a lot better about you. “Eats all,” is a serious step up, IMHO. Pumpkin pie: We went to Australia a few years ago. We were…surprised (yeah, that’s the ticket, surprised) to see **PUMPKIN SOUP** on the menu. Not to mention that every buffet kind of thing we saw had chunks of sliced up pumpkin on offer. Peanut butter: Mmmmmmm…peanut butter. We visited some friends in Melbourne. While talking Mr. Friend got to talking about some Americans he’d gotten to know in Vietnam. He was describing, in hideous detail, some horrible spread the “Yanks” put on bread and crackers. After a bit we determined this was, of course, PB. When the wife and I both said we loved it you could see that we had just dropped down a tad in their estimation. And this from people that eat Vegimite. My personal food unfavorate: OYSTERS!!! Who the hell first thought of eating these. “Hey gang, look at this. It appears to be individually wrapped samples of cold snot. What say we eat it.” ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/72 "2003-01-15T23:31:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by guy\_from\_wpa \* > \*\*These are all things I have sold in the deli: > > Sous–clear jelly with random bits of leftover meat byproducts > > Headcheese (the name reminds me of something else disgusting) > > Blood Tounge (I don’t want to eat any think that can taste me back) > > Pickled Pigs Feet (looks like rotting flesh in a jar) \*\* So it’s a Klingon Deli that you work in? ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/73 "2003-01-16T00:14:53Z")
Oh, SandyHook beat me to the oysters–vile, vile things, even when you’re drunk they’re terrible! I’m none to fond of cottage cheese or yoghurt–icky, icky, icky! Cottage chesse has both a slimey and chunky consistancy which just gives my tongue the heeby-jeebies. And yoghurt, it has the undertaste of spoilage, that lurking sourness–not the clean sourness of a lemon, but the tongue-coating sourness of old milk. Yuk! My tongue is quite the connoisseur, food must pass the taste, texture and all-around yumminess test, or it’s just right out. ---
**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/74 "2003-01-16T00:16:37Z")
Most of the foodstuffs that I think are truely nasty have already been posted except for canned alligator meat, pig uterus and some other weird unidentifiable stuff (there is no endlish on the packages) I have seen on the shelves in the oriental market I shop at occasionally for stir fry and dim sum supplies. ---
**Author:** ![Caught\_Work](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Caught\_Work](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caught_Work)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/75 "2003-01-16T00:37:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Desmostylus \* > \*\*No, it’s a [fruit.](http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=pumpkin&r=67) \*\* MWHAHAHAHAH ! From the same source towards the end of the page: > [@](#): > > used for cooking and for feeding stock; I rest my case. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/76 "2003-01-16T00:47:46Z")
I used to have a jar of “Sweet Gelatinous Mutant Coconut”, but I gave it to an unnamed popular writer 'cuz he thought it was cool. No idea what it tasted like. I imagine it tasted better than it sounded-- after all, I’m a big fan of the “Dried Black Fungus” which comes via the same import company. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/77 "2003-01-16T01:04:48Z")
Sorry to do this folk, even to prove a point. Stand back now. Don your gas masks. Merely reading the word can induce dry heaves… **Lutefisk**. Dried cod, soaked in water and then lye, then rinsed and boiled forever. For the fortunately uninitiated, think of _hot fish jello_. It’s semi-translucent, rubbery and it **reeks** , omigod, but it reeks. I mean it pours out a roiling cloud of rotted fish stench. Of course it helps bunches that it’s served with some of the boiling water and topped with melted butter. Ulp. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/78 "2003-01-16T01:21:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > \*\*Whoever decided blueberries are edible was a sick person. NOTHING that color is edible. > > And Jello. The texture alone should be a clue that it is not food. \*\* [sub]Haven’t even finished reading this thread when I saw this![/sub] There you are! My long lost twin! I honestly believed I was the only person alive that hated both those foods (and I use that term loosely.) I shiver at the thought of eating Jello…(yark!) I have several more that can add to this list, though: Mushrooms. (No, not the happy ones…the unhappy ones.) I know I’ve stated this somewhere before, but the texture just about kills me. I feel like I’ve sunk my teeth into human flesh if I make the mistake of biting into one. [sub][sup]Shuddered while thinking about it.[/sub][/sup] Olives. See above. Green flesh with a red bellybutton. Feta cheese. Ohjesusthatshitis_gross_! Eating chewy, sour, rancid plugs of earwax just isn’t gonna do anything for me. Except make me hurl my sinus cavities up. Instant pudding. Actually, I can amend that to anything “instant”, but instant pudding is slimy and tasteless. It makes my throat slam shut. Makes me think of vaguely sugared snot. I know I have a few more, but this list will have to suffice until I can find a bottle of Pepto. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/79 "2003-01-16T01:37:13Z")
Escargots. Hidden behind the fancy name is just a slimy snail with antennae that leaves a trail of goo as it slithers along. Read that _twice_ and then eat the dang things! I was once forced to try one by a persistent friend in a public eatery\* – and I have never fully recovered from the experience. Used to blast the heck out of them with my Crossman rifle as a kid. Too bad I didn’t finish the job. \*Had it not been public, I would have used one of my son’s best lines to date when trying to feed him something new: “If it’s so good, _you_ eat it, Daddy.” ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494/80 "2003-01-16T01:43:38Z")
**RedFury** , my uncle used to call escargot “buttered dirt”. Aptly so, I might add. Funny thing is, he grew to actually like the nasty things! I guess you have to acquire a taste for butter and dirt as a main course. Maybe he used glass shards instead of salt to hide the taste. If not, he should have. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vile-rank-foodstuffs/148494.md?page=5)