# Vintage ads **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 15, 2006, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832 "2006-09-15T14:01:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/1 "2006-09-15T14:01:38Z")
A friend just sent me [this](http://eatliver.com/vintage-ads/#null) link – new to me, though I’m sure y’all have seen it many times. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/2 "2006-09-15T14:16:48Z")
Priceless. Note that the picture _Unwed Mother_ was directed by **Walter A. Donger.** ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/3 "2006-09-15T14:24:24Z")
Ok, that clown with the coffee is totally heebing me out! (the actual clown not the woman making coffee.) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/4 "2006-09-15T14:27:40Z")
I want, nay, _need_ an atomic suit! ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/5 "2006-09-15T14:28:58Z")
My God, who traps a baby under a soap dish?! Love the pig slicing himself into sausages, though. I want that for my kitchen! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/6 "2006-09-15T14:31:24Z")
appealing daintiness ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/7 "2006-09-15T14:32:30Z")
Me, I like the wienie roast. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/8 "2006-09-15T14:39:21Z")
The pregnant swingin’ moms is a classic. ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/9 "2006-09-15T14:47:51Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] appealing daintiness [/QUOTE] Ladies, does your man lock himself in the bathroom whenever you wish for married happiness? It’s because you lack appealing dantieness! For complete feminine hygiene, rely on Lysol No greasy aftereffect, to keep you desirable… Then, of course, one would need 30x Arsenical and 40x Bismuth once a week for 70 weeks, because you can’t beat the axis if you get VD! ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/10 "2006-09-15T15:06:48Z")
I do _not_ want to know what’s going on with the little black kid (second from top, second from left). There’s something very, very wrong going on there. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/11 "2006-09-15T15:13:55Z")
“Blow in her face and she’ll follow you anywhere.” Hmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/12 "2006-09-15T18:52:29Z")
Vibra-Finger “Gum” Massager. Buy one for yourself and one for a “friend.” Ya. OK. ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/13 "2006-09-15T22:05:26Z")
“Begin Early. Shave yourself” - a baby needing a shave?! ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2006, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/14 "2006-09-15T23:44:08Z")
Lysol douche? Ouch! ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/15 "2006-09-16T00:09:15Z")
Well, you were supposed to dilute it. But that was in the small print, not plastered all over the label or the ad. And not everybody could read then. Or understand $2 words like “dilute.” ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/16 "2006-09-16T01:32:08Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] A friend just sent me [this](http://eatliver.com/vintage-ads/#null) link – new to me, though I’m sure y’all have seen it many times. [/QUOTE] I am impressed. I thought the problems at Hanford were overblown. I didn’t see how cleaning out some underground tanks was going to take 40 years and 100 billion $. But now I understand… According to the Atomic Suit ad, “When waste collected by this tape show plutonium, the machine signals control engineers at the Hanford atomic plant. Prompt “leak” plugging saves GE $250,000 a year in lost nuclear fuel.” :eek: Glad to know the boys in the control room are on top of things. I wonder how much plutonium $250K could buy back in the day?? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/17 "2006-09-16T01:54:58Z")
Those were excellent! [Another classic ad resource](http://www.adclassix.com/sitemap.htm) ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/18 "2006-09-16T02:05:10Z")
Is the vibrating fingertip “gum massager” what I think it is? Grandma! I’m shocked! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2006, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/19 "2006-09-16T02:46:23Z")
The “El Santo” movie poster is a hoot! (Last one on the 5th row) - Wrestling? Pshaw! Check my Glock-Fu you crooks!!! BTW this was one of El Santo’s first movies, you may remember him as “Samson” ( :rolleyes: cursed translators!) from the movie Samson vs the Vampire Women, mercilessly spoofed by Mystery Science Theater 3000. The mask design was changed later, but golly if his ear does not look like a modern “I’m worried” anime sweat drop. Curious bit: Poster claims it was filmed in Havana, Cuba. in 1958? But a revolution was going on then! However, luck was with El Santo: > **[El Santo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Santo)** > > Women's Mid 20th century (1950−1969) 1970s > [@](#): > > In 1958, Fernando Osés, a wrestler and actor, invited Santo to work in movies, and although Santo was unwilling to give up his wrestling career, he accepted, planning to do both at the same time. Oses was planning on playing the hero in these films, with Santo appearing as his costumed sidekick. Fernando Osés and Enrique Zambrano wrote the scripts for the first two movies, el Cerebro del Mal (The Evil Brain) and Hombres Infernales (The Infernal Men), both released in 1958, and directed by Joselito Rodríguez. Filming was done in Cuba, and ended just the day before Fidel Castro entered Havana and declared the victory of the revolution. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2006, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832/20 "2006-09-17T10:42:12Z")
Okay, let me see if I get this. You’re supposed to blow cigarette smoke in people’s faces, give Thorazine to cranky elderly people, leave infants in the bath unattended, douche with Lysol (as long as it’s diluted), and let infants play with straight razors. 'Kay. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vintage-ads/372832.md?page=2)