# Violation: Showing up VERY late for a multi-party, table reservation dinner **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 6, 2009, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050 "2009-09-06T08:14:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/41 "2009-09-06T21:31:58Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > …HONORABLY departs… > > …Checks, please… > … appetisers … > …behaviour Why do you spell “honor” and “check” like an American but “behaviour” like a Brit and “appetiser” how a pretentious-but-not-well-traveled American thinks a Brit would spell it (the British actually call the course of small savory items served before the main course “starters”)? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/42 "2009-09-06T21:42:25Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > Of course they should do what they agreed to do: my point is only that it’s very predictable that they didn’t–it’s a way to celebrate that always sounds good and always works out like this. Oh, not ALWAYS. Here is my normal brother in laws birthday. He invites 40 people to a restaurant. We must go because this is my husband’s brother who he loves dearly. 30 people show up. Order appetizers “to share,” have a few drinks, entrees. The all agree that since it is his birthday, the host shouldn’t pay. As they leave for the night they throw a few bucks on the table. At the end of the evening, we make up the difference in what people contributed and what the bill was to the tune of a few hundred dollars. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/43 "2009-09-06T21:51:23Z")
Am I the only one who read this whole experience as _Classless Trash Should Stick to Outback_? The OP makes it clear that neither he nor anyone he knows knows “fine dining” from a good tube feeding, and the fantasy expectations he and his friends bring to a “whitetablecloth” restaurant (what, you’re used to spread out newspapers?)–which was apparently, though well above their experience, a step or two above Denny’s–seems to have caused most of the problems. Dude, **St. Anger** , stick to Arby’s, you and your waitstaff will be happier. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/44 "2009-09-06T21:53:40Z")
… ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/45 "2009-09-06T21:57:01Z")
By the way I’m not going to an expensive restaurant birthday party tonight, even though I was invited. I wish the persons going could have taken my pumpkin pound cake I made for the birthday person though. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/46 "2009-09-06T22:06:24Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > No way I’m waiting for douchebag irresponsible and inconsiderate friends who can’t make it at a reasonable time. When I was little, good table etiquette was the norm. Later, it was more casual. Guests would try to wait until everyone was served, but dad would say ‘Good manners make for bad food. Dig in!’ > [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > Hey, I object to that! Disney makes very good food. 😃 I wouldn’t call it very good. I’ve eaten at Disneyland, and at their Rainforest restaurant, and the food was adequately good. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/47 "2009-09-06T22:13:10Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Am I the only one who read this whole experience as _Classless Trash Should Stick to Outback_? The OP makes it clear that neither he nor anyone he knows knows “fine dining” from a good tube feeding, and the fantasy expectations he and his friends bring to a “whitetablecloth” restaurant (what, you’re used to spread out newspapers?)–which was apparently, though well above their experience, a step or two above Denny’s–seems to have caused most of the problems. > > Dude, **St. Anger** , stick to Arby’s, you and your waitstaff will be happier. Part of the mainstreaming of “fine dining” through celebrity chefs and the Food Channel is that “fine dining” really isn’t - not at these kinds of places. I’m picturing Vegas as the casino town - there are certainly a LOT of celebrity chef restaurants there - and a lot of people who wouldn’t normally frequent a fine dining place. (Disney has the same issues - they do have some restaurants that have good food and have been fine dining experiences (they’ve gone downhill foodwise)…the clientele can be “not up on their fine dining manners.”) This isn’t all bad - its really cool that more people are finding this type of food accessible. But if you are looking for fine dining, it might be best to avoid restuarants in hotels or casinos - or anywhere where the chef has a TV show (there are exceptions). Regardless, however - of if this was Outback or The French Laundry - a sit down meal together involves everyone getting their food at the same time. This isn’t chicken wings and artichoke dip at Fridays… ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_Stream](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c2a13f/32.png) [@Carol\_Stream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_Stream)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/48 "2009-09-06T22:31:01Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I wouldn’t call it very good. I’ve eaten at Disneyland, and at their Rainforest restaurant, and the food was adequately good. Rainforest isn’t owned or operated by Disney. > **[Landry's Inc. | The Leader in Dining, Hospitality and Entertainment](https://www.landrysinc.com)** > > The Leader in Dining, Hospitality and Entertainment ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/49 "2009-09-06T22:33:44Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > When I was little, good table etiquette was the norm. Later, it was more casual. Guests would try to wait until everyone was served, but dad would say ‘Good manners make for bad food. Dig in!’. Good on your dad. Had a conversation about this with a friend lately, in regards to waiting for people to show up to a game night. He believed in waiting for everyone. I believe in getting started close to the established start time and allowing the latecomers to either miss the game or (depending on the game) join in when they are ready. By waiting for the perpetual late comers, you are rewarding their bad behavior and allowing them to dictate the start time, regardless of your wishes or the wishes of everyone else who showed up on time. Allowing the rudeness of others to constantly inconvenience _you_ is not “good manners”, it’s being a patsy. ---
**Author:** ![wierdaaron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eada6e/32.png) [@wierdaaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wierdaaron)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/50 "2009-09-06T22:35:06Z")
> [@Carol\_Stream](#): > > Rainforest isn’t owned or operated by Disney. > > [http://www.landrysrestaurants.com/](http://www.landrysrestaurants.com/) My sister worked in the kitchen of one. I really liked their bread pudding. She later went on to be head chef of a 5-star restaurant at a Ritz Carlton. After going to culinary school. End of anecdote. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/51 "2009-09-06T23:07:34Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > I’m still a little amazed by people who are so into themselves that they think the world should stop and celebrate their birthday after the age of, oh, say, 12. I’d never expect my friends to spend $150 on a dinner just because my mother gave birth to me 43 years ago. Meh. I haven’t thrown myself a birthday anything in many years, but I love it when my friends celebrate their birthdays. It’s an excuse to get together, be festive, and have fun. If you need a reason for a party, a birthday is as good a reason as any. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2009, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/52 "2009-09-06T23:20:43Z")
Wait…you (generic “you”) invite people to a party for your own birthday bash and they’re supposed to pay near the tune of $155 dollars? And THEY are the rude ones for coming late? Uh huh. (Sorry, I missed the part about the guests paying for their own dinners) ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/53 "2009-09-07T01:28:24Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Wait…you (generic “you”) invite people to a party for your own birthday bash and they’re supposed to pay near the tune of $155 dollars? And THEY are the rude ones for coming late? > > Uh huh. (Sorry, I missed the part about the guests paying for their own dinners) The OP was one of the guests - complaining about the behavior of the other guests. ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/54 "2009-09-07T02:45:47Z")
> [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > Why do you spell “honor” and “check” like an American but “behaviour” like a Brit and “appetiser” how a pretentious-but-not-well-traveled American thinks a Brit would spell it (the British actually call the course of small savory items served before the main course “starters”)? And this has . . . what . . .to do with the topic at hand? And why do you care? ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/55 "2009-09-07T02:51:48Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Am I the only one who read this whole experience as _Classless Trash Should Stick to Outback_? The OP makes it clear that neither he nor anyone he knows knows “fine dining” from a good tube feeding, and the fantasy expectations he and his friends bring to a “whitetablecloth” restaurant (what, you’re used to spread out newspapers?)–which was apparently, though well above their experience, a step or two above Denny’s–seems to have caused most of the problems. > > Dude, **St. Anger** , stick to Arby’s, you and your waitstaff will be happier. Thanks for the advice there, Chef Ramsey. I’m not exactly what so-called “fantasies” I may or may not have to do with basic common horse sense and manners, but the next time I am evacuating that Arby’s roast beef into the toilet bowl, I will be thinking about you. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/56 "2009-09-07T03:38:03Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Are there any adults who give gifts on birthdays? Except for spouses/SOs, maybe siblings if they’re close, maybe **very** close friends, I’m not aware of birthday-gifting among adults. (I’ll often make a cake for a friend’s birthday, but I’m not sure that’s an actual gift as opposed to a nice gesture.) I still get presents for my parents, grandfather, and surviving great aunt. That’s it. I’d never dream of throwing myself a party of any kind (certainly not expecting the guests to pay for it). My last birthday party was my 12th, and I never liked them anyway (I was a strange child). ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/57 "2009-09-07T04:06:33Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > Thanks for the advice there, Chef Ramsey. I’m not exactly what so-called “fantasies” I may or may not have to do with basic common horse sense and manners . . . Only this: you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. It’s clear that English isn’t your first language, so this isn’t really a judgment on your experience or ignorance; only on your presumption that you DO know what you’re talking about, when in fact you do not. ---
**Author:** ![St.Anger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@St.Anger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Anger)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/58 "2009-09-07T05:52:58Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > It’s clear that English isn’t your first language Sure it is, allow me to demonstrate just TWO of the many words I know: “Fuck” “You” Think that over as you take a break from sitting in your Mommy’s basement jerking off to Internet porn and go upstairs to have your warm milk and cookies before going to beddie-bye. ---
**Author:** ![whatami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/85f322/32.png) [@whatami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whatami)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/59 "2009-09-07T06:52:15Z")
> [@wierdaaron](#): > > No place owned by a TV chef is fancy. TV chefs aren’t on TV because they’re amazing chefs, they’re on TV because they can read lines with personality… This is not true. I’ve been to many fine dining rest., some owned by TV personalities. Some of those were very good to exceptional. In LV alone, Nobu (Morimoto) and Mesa (Flay) were great. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050/60 "2009-09-07T07:20:15Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > Sure it is, allow me to demonstrate just TWO of the many words I know: > > “Fuck” > > “You” > > Think that over as you take a break from sitting in your Mommy’s basement jerking off to Internet porn and go upstairs to have your warm milk and cookies before going to beddie-bye. Psst. Dude. You’d’ve saved yourself some embarrassment if you’d gone along with the ESL thing, cuz, _dayum_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/violation-showing-up-very-late-for-a-multi-party-table-reservation-dinner/509050.md?page=4)