# Virtual Bonfire **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 11, 2001, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559 "2001-01-11T18:38:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/21 "2001-01-11T23:13:35Z")
::Turns:: ::Bends:: Mmmmmmm. Warm ass cheeks. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/22 "2001-01-11T23:21:41Z")
\ mmmmm - toasty warm ass cheeks… 😃 \ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/23 "2001-01-11T23:26:51Z")
::Tucks cold fingers in ChiefScott’s waist band to warm ‘em up:: Yeah the fire’s warm too, but I like the squealing. I brought some marshmallows anybody want a s’more? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/24 "2001-01-11T23:29:21Z")
AUGH! The dreaded simulpost! Can we share him, FCM? Can we catapult the cows into the fire for faster steaks? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/25 "2001-01-11T23:31:31Z")
Dragging over a huge table, a couple of meat saws, and some very sharp knives. there ya go guys, I don’t know the first thing about butchering no cows, but I’ll sure help eatin 'em. I’d like a big porterhouse medium rare please. Oh, and I brought potato salad, onions, tomatoes and huge salad. did I see corn on the cob somewhere? Oops I spilled butter on myself now I’m all slippery. HOLD ON A MINUTE, I ALREADY TOLD YOU I WILL NOT GET IN THAT GRILLING BASKET. NO I AM NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE TERM SURF 'N TURF HEY WATCH IT. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/26 "2001-01-11T23:45:27Z")
::Quickly turns so **xtal** ’s hand is down the front of my pants:: Mmmmmm. Hand job. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/27 "2001-01-12T02:11:08Z")
Cut that out guys I’m trying to run a nice respectable bonfire here. OK who wants to throw me the meat? ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/28 "2001-01-12T02:19:17Z")
mermaid…if xtal volunteers, there will be trouble… ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/29 "2001-01-12T02:21:51Z")
I don’t know about _throwing_ the meat… Tossing off, maybe… ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/30 "2001-01-12T02:23:51Z")
::makes a big container of hot cocoa for later:: Robin ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/31 "2001-01-12T02:45:58Z")
Osip crashes the party drinking (poorly at that) in his safron buddist robes soaked in Gasoline! Hey lets dance next to the fire! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/32 "2001-01-12T02:52:09Z")
“Fwump!” goes Osip. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/33 "2001-01-12T03:02:38Z")
Feels real bad about Osip’s poor choice of bonfire atire… only hesitates a moment before helping to put him out. Drenches him with a big bottle of Boone’s Farm. I knew that was good for something! ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/34 "2001-01-12T03:06:32Z")
[Osip as The Brain] " This is a pain that will linger" ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/35 "2001-01-12T03:33:18Z")
Let’s all put our arms around each other and sing kumbaya… ::dodges flying cow:: Or not. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/36 "2001-01-12T04:12:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*The Mermaid \* > \*\*OK who wants to throw me the meat? \*\* Oh my… \ Oh dear, dear me…whatever are we going to do to, uh, with you? ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/37 "2001-01-12T05:03:12Z")
_wanders around the fire keeping warm and avoiding white rabbits and flying cows_ My first year at summer camp we burns an outhouse on our bonfire on the last night. (It was only about 3 years ago) mmm nice and toasty _stays a couple meters back where she can stay warm enough not to burn_ ---
**Author:** ![Pink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/71c47a/32.png) [@Pink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pink)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/38 "2001-01-12T05:09:06Z")
There’s hay to sit on and a guitar, let’s have a sing-along. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/39 "2001-01-12T10:35:41Z")
Wakes up and turn the cold side toward the fire throws a couple more logs on. (using catapult of course) Lies back down and snuggles up to… ---
**Author:** ![uberDave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f04885/32.png) [@uberDave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uberDave)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559/40 "2001-01-12T14:15:51Z")
:tiptoeing over sleeping picnicers and grabbing a hay bale and dragging it over to the catapult and soaking the hay with gasoline. Cranking back the catapult and lighting a match… Ahhhhh… nothing like the sight a flaming hay bale sailing across the morning sky. Mornin’ **Mermaid** 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-bonfire/49559.md?page=3)