# ~~~ Virtual Christmas Party ~~~ **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 14, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862 "2003-12-14T00:52:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/241 "2003-12-22T20:55:13Z")
_grbs **venabeast** passes a beer before irish whiping him into the chocolate_ ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/242 "2003-12-22T20:56:46Z")
that’s grabs, its the chocolate covdered fingers make it hard to type ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/243 "2003-12-22T21:04:25Z")
_Jumping on **zephyrine** _ No woman, no cry! zeezee blan blan Get up, Stand up! Exodus, Exodus. You like me give you Santa presents? Have nice likker drinks. Mistletoe is to make kissey kissers. \*Drops to floor and begins kissing \*_zephyrines feet_ ---
**Author:** ![zephyrine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/35a633/32.png) [@zephyrine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zephyrine)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/244 "2003-12-22T21:12:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SiXSwordS \* > \*\*_Jumping on **zephyrine** _ > > No woman, no cry! zeezee blan blan Get up, Stand up! Exodus, Exodus. You like me give you Santa presents? Have nice likker drinks. Mistletoe is to make kissey kissers. > > \*Drops to floor and begins kissing \*_zephyrines feet_ \*\* **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!** Er… Hmmmm… that’s quite exciting, really… ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/245 "2003-12-22T21:18:58Z")
_pausing momentarily_ Now me understandicate preview be good friend ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/246 "2003-12-22T21:21:03Z")
Mmmm-- you should I put some choco whippy creme on toes to lickette offa you go tickle tickle Umm Umm? ---
**Author:** ![zephyrine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/35a633/32.png) [@zephyrine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zephyrine)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/248 "2003-12-22T21:27:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SiXSwordS \* > \*\*Mmmm-- you should I put some choco whippy creme on toes to lickette offa you go tickle tickle Umm Umm? \*\* [dominatrix mode] Tell you what, honey, why don’t you just stop the chit-chat and get on with the licking? [/dominatrix mode] Yeah, choco whippy creme would be good. ---
**Author:** ![zephyrine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/35a633/32.png) [@zephyrine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zephyrine)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/249 "2003-12-22T21:32:35Z")
Hi **Cite?**. I’m not sure you’ve quite got the hang of this party. The naked woman under the also naked chocowrestlers over there is our hostess, **Misstee**. You may have to remove all your clothes and don a Santa hat before greeting her, though. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/250 "2003-12-22T21:35:58Z")
_grabs nearest coat rack and snags the **SiXSwords** doppleganger by the mouth_ Don’t you know better than that? _whack, whack_ You gotta cover them in chocolate _whack_ or get them liquored up _whack_ before you start kissin’ on ‘em. _whack, whang, poke_ Now go tell the real **SexWordS** that he ain’t foolin’ nobody and get his non-chocolate type ass in here pronto! _prod, shove_ _bodily lifts **zephyrine** , puts her over the shoulder and hauls her to the growing pile of slithering chocolate Dopers_ Now while I’m slathering you up we’ll work on our strategy. You _slather, slather_ distract **Abdominal** with your chocolate-enhanced fun bits while I sneak up _slather, rub, plop_ behind him and jam this Christmas stocking over his bulbous head. Then we both jump on him and pin him down _would you mind removing that please? Thanks, rub, rub_ and I’ll proceed with his eggnog enema. That should calm him down. There, all done, and I must say it was enjoyable for me as well. We all set? ---
**Author:** ![zephyrine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/35a633/32.png) [@zephyrine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zephyrine)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/251 "2003-12-22T22:02:52Z")
Hey **Abdominal** looky here at what I got! Mmm, **Horseflesh** that’s some very… um… enthusiastic slathering you’re doing there. _assisting in restraint of unsuspecting victim_ Eggnog enema! Bwuahahahahahahaha! _has embarrassing choking fit due to laughing too much_ Oh Bleugh! That’s DISGUSTING! ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/252 "2003-12-22T22:09:29Z")
**SanguineSpider’s** havin’ one HELL ofa chocolately good time, hooo-yeah! _she slides over to one side of the chocolate pool, licking here and there, hair plastered to her head in chocolate layers, giggling as she laps_ MMMMMMMMM MMMMMM MMMMMMMMMM!! Yumm-EEEEE! Oooo **Horseflesh** , watch OUT!! _wince_ That’s gotta hurt… ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/253 "2003-12-22T22:10:53Z")
Errr… that should be chocolatey… too much eggnoggin’. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/254 "2003-12-22T22:27:53Z")
_gives **SanguineSpider** a licking of her own_ It seems…ah…that you’ve…ah…got experience doing this. You really know what to do in a pool full of edibles. _grabs **SanguineSpider** close, interlocks legs, and rolls the length and width of the pool, knocking down Dopers like bowling pins but taking care to not squeeze **Abdominal** too much_ Dogpile on **Jennyrosity**! Last one on has to escort **Abdominal** to the bathroom and find **SiXSwordS**. **vernabeast** , we need your help over here! Did anyone lose their Ursula bikini bottom? Never mind, it’s got no place in here. ---
**Author:** ![Abdominal\_Snowman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f04885/32.png) [@Abdominal\_Snowman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abdominal_Snowman)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/255 "2003-12-23T02:28:32Z")
Heh, clearly, **Horseflesh’s** nefarious scheming has failed. I’m far too involved with **Zephyrine’s** naughty nibblets to notice such a small thing as an eggnog enema. Besides, I’m relatively certain that **Zephyrine** was enjoying herself. However, such behaviour can clearly not go unpunished, and so: **SanguineSpider** , unravel yourself from **Horseflesh** over there, use some of those infinitely handy legs to hold him down, and pass me a candy cane or three. Thank you. _proceeds to suck the candy canes down into sharp pointy candy weapons, and perform non-therapeutic acupuncture on **Horseflesh** _ Oh, and the hold on to that bikini bottom… it might be mine. ---
**Author:** ![Frankenbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c0e974/32.png) [@Frankenbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frankenbear)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/256 "2003-12-23T02:59:54Z")
:makes up a fresh batch of buttery nipples then goes back to filming the event, staying safe behind the camcorder: ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/257 "2003-12-23T04:47:39Z")
Ow. Ow. OW. OUCH. Ow. Owwwwoooooo… Why’d you stop? I mean…HEY! You got a license to do that, doc? _spies a free buttered nipple flailing about and shoves it towards **Abdominal Snowman** _ Take THAT, Frosty! **Jennyrosity** , you okay down there. I know it’s gotta suck being trapped under a pile of chocolatey man-Dopers, but hold tight. Soon as I get myself untangled from **SanguineSpider** here I’ll dig you out. So, **Sanguine** , you were telling me about the porn retail biz. Bet you got some real horror stories from that, huh? No, I’ve got time…Can I get you a drink? Something with manroot perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/258 "2003-12-23T09:17:40Z")
Mmmmmph, mmmmmmppphhh, splutter, gasp… _Penelope Pitstop stylee_: HEY-YELP! HEY-YELP!!! ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/259 "2003-12-23T10:46:51Z")
I’m late. _::bringing some Dutch goodies::_ Cheers everyone. Merry Christmas and all that. **:o):o)** ---
**Author:** ![Abdominal\_Snowman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f04885/32.png) [@Abdominal\_Snowman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abdominal_Snowman)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/260 "2003-12-23T12:39:03Z")
Woohoo! Dutch goodies! Tell me sir, any Advocaat in there? Stroepwaffels? Double Zalt Droppies? Gouda? (kindly forgive the purely phonetic spelling) _commences wiping off chocolate from self, lest **gum** should feel he is being assaulted by a behemoth chocolate freak leaking eggnog from odd places, and chases down the Dutch goodness_ ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/261 "2003-12-23T13:01:26Z")
hmmm… i just realised ive been past out in the john for the last how many hours… oh well back to the party [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862.md?page=14)