# ~~~ Virtual Christmas Party ~~~ **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 14, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862 "2003-12-14T00:52:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/262 "2003-12-23T14:49:40Z")
Big hugs and kisses to **gum**. ::: points out the mistletoe hanging above everyone ::: You can take you clothes off now and jump into the chocolate pool on your own, or you can be thrown in later by **Horseflesh**. I didn’t realize you were passed out **BigDaiv**. If I would have known you needed help, I would have rescued you. Now that your back, your going down. ::: throws **BigDaiv** into the chocolate pool ::: ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/263 "2003-12-23T16:30:00Z")
_Sneaking out of costume closet wearing **Jar Jar Binks** costume. Grabs short blue and orange man who has been subdued by **Horseflesh** ( Thanks chocolate Santa!) Pulling the **SiXSwordS** mask off the little bugger revealing a very ugly little man_ Caughtcha! Now back into the camera with you Identity thief! _Picks up the minchkin by the left arm and leg. Swings him around three times and hurls him into the camcorder where he vanishes with a puff-of-smoke_ Now to get out of this ridiculous rubber suit and get into some Chocolate. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/264 "2003-12-23T16:37:17Z")
:::: helps **SixSwordS** out of his Jar Jar Binks costume, and slathers him up in gooey chocolate :::: YUMMY ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/265 "2003-12-23T16:40:22Z")
Retail porn… ah, yes… those _were_ the days, yessiree. I could spin a few tales about exposed genitalia, the “lube” man behind the clothing rack (those stains NEVER came out, you jerk-off… oh tee hee, I mean, creep), and the time ol’ John Holmes was stolen right outta his box. 13 inches of massive rubber dong… gone. We played merrily with the toys, showing the shocked and embarrassed customers how each worked… NO, **Horseflesh** , not _THAT_ way (think public place, silly, and LAWS). I remember when that Sunset Thomas lass showed up for our grand opening and how we had ordered a butt cake (cake in butt form, not cake made of butt) and then my manager violated the cake’s tender \_\_\_\_\_ with a vibrator. Oh, yes… fun, fun times. _sighs wistfully, daydreaming of her crazy days at the porn shoppe, smiling in her reverie_ Drink? Oh, thank you. Manroot? Ummm, there are a few manroots here, **Horseflesh** , how could I pick just one? _wink_ ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/266 "2003-12-23T16:49:28Z")
_reaches deep into the pile of bodies and grabs hold of **Jennyrosity** , making sure that delicate yummy girl parts don’t get damaged_ Ho, HO, you look like you could use a drink! Eggnog, Buttery Nipple, iced yin-yang, or Essence of Horseflesh? I’d recommend something, but modesty forbids. Why don’t you take a breather? Here, sit on my lap. _Santa hat is suddenly no long floppy_ ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/267 "2003-12-23T17:05:57Z")
AAAHHH! Thanks for the help **misstee** you don’t know how good that feels. I could tell you a few stories of my adventures inside the camera, but you look like you could you a little licking instead. Here I brought you a glass of Champagne. Great stories **SanguineSpider**. One of my friends works at a Porn store and she says she sells a lot of Toys but they are always for friends. Wish I had friends like that! ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/268 "2003-12-23T17:10:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > _Santa hat is suddenly no long floppy_ ROTFLMFAO 😃 😃 😃 😃 BAHHHAAAHHAAA, I STILL CAN’T STOP LAUGHING. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/269 "2003-12-23T17:29:14Z")
Whatchoo laughin’ at Red? _cocks fully erect Santa hat to one side and advances with double handfuls of slightly used Doper chocolate_ It’s the end of the world, **misstee** … ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/270 "2003-12-23T17:33:17Z")
only for you **Horseflesh** climbs on to the roof of the shed and takes a flying lep landing squarely on **Horseflesh** ’s back\* OW that hat is painful… ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/271 "2003-12-23T20:44:57Z")
Not that this chocolate isn’t filling, but I have been in an alternate universe for a long time now so you will excuse me while I check out the edibles won’t you. _Proceeds to track chocolate across the living room floor on his way to the kitchen_ Anyone care to join me. Snacks are so much more enjoyable in the company of a beautiful woman. ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/272 "2003-12-23T21:00:10Z")
_follows **SiXSwordS** into the kitchen because all the chocolate play has left her famished_ ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/273 "2003-12-23T22:05:33Z")
Former Porn Purveyor **SanguineSpider** I couldn’t have asked for better company. The oven seems to have been enchanted and is taking requests. What would you like? ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/274 "2003-12-23T22:59:53Z")
**lurking in the chocolate, only eyes are visable… not unlike a crocodile** I seek “edibles” of another kind… heh heh ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/275 "2003-12-23T23:17:50Z")
Hey, everyone in the pool. Look Out For The Chocodiles! ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/276 "2003-12-23T23:34:29Z")
hoping **verbenabeast** doesn’t chase me into a tree, to sit there for hours, like those two poor guys who had to sit and watch their mate being eaten… Shut up, gum. This is a party. Thankee **misstee** Never been kissed under a mistletoe before. Under anything else, yes. But no toe. :o) **Abdominal Snowman** _love the handle_ No need to wipe. I’m used to leaky people. Heh, You’re familiar with Dutch food, huh. Your spelling is excellent. :o) \*_pouring advokaat, heineken and some Bols liquor for the stronger stomachs and slicing some Gouda and Edam cheese_ \* Proost all. \*_throwing my clothes and cloggies in the direction of Aldebaran. Hoping my clogs will hit his eye - and getting into the chocolate pool_ \* Mmmm. Good. ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/277 "2003-12-24T01:09:16Z")
Howza-boot some flan, sweetie? _purrr_ None for me, thanks, but the others might enjoy the wiggle. I’ll take some king crab legs and butter, please. Perhaps some shrimp cocktail first… _purrr_ ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/278 "2003-12-24T01:16:04Z")
:: **Trip** hangs up his coat on the hook per the OP :: Hey! I’m here! What’d I miss? I brought beer. Where’s the fridge? Tripler Late, but fashionable. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/279 "2003-12-24T05:34:16Z")
Welcome **Tripler**. 's bout time you showed up. Beer is good. The fridge is over beyond the pool filled with chocolate. ::: points up, gives the obligatory smooch ::: ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/280 "2003-12-24T20:22:26Z")
Now that it is virtually Christmas I have to wonder what is in store for the Virtual Christmas party. Anyone else planning to stay for the duration. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/281 "2003-12-24T20:54:16Z")
Hell yeah, I am here for the duration. BTW, the a very kick ass doper-wedding just happened. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862.md?page=15)