# ~~~ Virtual Christmas Party ~~~

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 14, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862 "2003-12-14T00:52:20Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/41 "2003-12-15T02:40:12Z")

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[puts on funk music CD]

_Oh, she’s a brick  
House  
She’s mighty mighty  
Just lettin’ it all hang out_

[dances over to **'nilla** with a couple of glasses of spiced rum, grabbing a mistletoe smooch from **Angua the Druken Astronomer** on the way…]

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**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/42 "2003-12-15T03:26:28Z")

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nilla?  
SO I’m a **wafer** now?!

🙂  
Hey, I also brought those cool little nugget cookies covered with white sugar!  
Yum!

Look! Tinselon the floor! I thoght it never fell off of the tree!  
(snicker)

Lets form a conga line!

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**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/43 "2003-12-15T03:54:11Z")

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[Miami Sound Machine finds its way to the sound stage]  
\*all of us are dancing to a conga beat now

everyone is in a line and shaking their ass

come on in and join the line and have some fun now HEY!\*

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**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/44 "2003-12-15T03:56:31Z")

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_whoop there it is!_

puts santa hat on…

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**Author:** ![Frankenbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c0e974/32.png) [@Frankenbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frankenbear)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/45 "2003-12-15T04:38:23Z")

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Hi all!

I brought a veggie tray with dip for those trying to watch their diets and six dozen homemade pecan twists for those who like to indulge.

Merry Christmas!

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**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/46 "2003-12-15T07:33:33Z")

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\<walks in with a Santa hat on and a sprig of mistletoe pinned to the brim\>

Ho, ho, ho, Dopers! Santa stopped by earlier and asked me to hand these out…

\<hands everyone a Christmas Hershey’s Kiss and plants a real kiss on them, tongue or no tongue by individual preference\>

\<pulls **AnimistDragon** out of the corner and dances to the final strains of _Conga_ while poking a Kiss into her mouth\>

Nobody hides at a Christmas party! Look, we can stack these cinnamon rolls into the shape of a Christmas tree! It’ll make it much easier to grab them during the inevitable food fight later on.

\<slaps **NoClueBoy** on the ass and hands him a Kiss\>

Get away from that CD player, **NCB** , you’re liable to break it with that kind of music. How about a little _Christmas in Hollis_?

_Rhymes so loud and proud you hear it  
It’s Christmas time and we got the spirit  
Jack Frost chillin, the ?orchas out?  
And that’s what Christmas is all about  
The time is now, the place is here  
And the whole wide world is filled with cheer._

Great party, **misstee**. Here’s a stocking for you to hang up on your fireplace. Ummm, where’s your fireplace anyways? The Big S can’t very well crawl through a window now, can he? He’d never fit.

\<hands **misstee** a stocking loaded with Kisses, places another Santa hat w/mistletoe on her red mane and lays a smooch on our good host\>

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**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/47 "2003-12-15T08:51:08Z")

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Great party, **misstee**. For those who want to stay up all night without the benefit of certain substances, I’ve also brought a LOT of yin-yang and my friend Michelle’s espresso-laden cookies. (she made them with pure epresso grounds)

F\_X

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**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/48 "2003-12-15T08:54:40Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Flamsterette\_X \*  
> \*\* I’ve also brought a LOT of yin-yang and my friend Michelle’s espresso-laden cookies. (she made them with pure epresso grounds)  
> \*\*

Whee!! Oh, I almost forgot, I’ve got my chocolate covered espresso bean cookies as well. 🙂

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**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/49 "2003-12-15T09:07:45Z")

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I brought the festive nitrous, with a cracker (not the kind you eat, or the human kind) and a balloon! (The balloon is green, which is half festive in and of itself.) Might not keep you up as well as the festive red and green cocaine, but still plenty of holiday fun!

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**Author:** ![wendyrules](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/85e7bf/32.png) [@wendyrules](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wendyrules)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/50 "2003-12-15T09:27:47Z")

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Woohoo! This party’s really starting to fire up. I just had to duck out and grab some more champagne and check on the kids (aawww they’ll be OK, I’ll come home to them some time!)… _pours another champagne_

**misstee** , you sure are the hostess with the mostest…

So? When do the guys start their tabletop dancing for the benefit of us ladies?! Who’s going to get the ball rolling?!! 😛

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**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/51 "2003-12-15T11:02:46Z")

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**I BROUGHT THE KRUMKAKER!**

Oh, and howdy, everybody.

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**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/52 "2003-12-15T12:34:32Z")

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Arrives late and half-cut, having been in the pub till closing time, wearing a miseltoe wreath on her head, a string of tinsel round her neck and only one shoe. Thrusts half-drunk bottle of tequila and box of all-night garage Ferrero Rocher at mistee:

"Heeeeeelloooooooo eeeeeeveryboooody!!! Happy Christmas!! D’you know, I just love you guys. Really. I love you all, you’re the brothers and sisters I never had. Erm…who are you? Oh, who cares, give me a cuddle!

Starts failing around in a vague attempt to co-ordinate her limbs into something approaching dancing, singing “Last Christmas” at the top of her voice, regardless of the fact that’s not what’s actually playing.

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**Author:** ![Critical\_Mass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@Critical\_Mass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical_Mass)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/53 "2003-12-15T12:57:59Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Jennyrosity \*  
> \*\*Arrives late and half-cut, having been in the pub till closing time, wearing a miseltoe wreath on her head, a string of tinsel round her neck and only one shoe. Thrusts half-drunk bottle of tequila and box of all-night garage Ferrero Rocher at mistee:

The hunter spys the prey. He slides stealthly into a position to pounce. He bares his fangs and leaps.

“How you doin?”

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**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/54 "2003-12-15T14:26:57Z")

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Hey! Who fancies playing truth or dare? 😃

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**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/55 "2003-12-15T14:45:55Z")

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Me! Okay, Truth or Dare: Did you forget to kiss me? \<points to mistletoe on the Santa hat\>

Okay, I know, I know. Loaded question. Ummmm… \<grabs bottle of tequila from **Jennyrosity** \> …okay, I dare ya to have a swig of this and choke down these 6 chocolate espresso bean cookies before I can swipe **Jenny** ’s remaining shoe and fill it with whipped cream.

Okay…GO!

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/56 "2003-12-15T14:56:36Z")

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Done it! Now, I dare you to run naked through the party thread. 🙂

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**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/57 "2003-12-15T14:59:02Z")

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Thats iampunha’s job!

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**Author:** ![Qazzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/aeb1de/32.png) [@Qazzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qazzz)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/58 "2003-12-15T14:59:57Z")

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_enters wearing tight jeans, black T-shirt, and orange corduroy sport jacket_

Hi, **Misstee**! Thanks for inviting me. 🙂

_looks over **Misstee** ’s shoulder, searching for **Lobsang** _

So, who else has arrived? Any hot guys? What about what’s-his-name… **Lobsang**. Is he here yet? I brought you a present. 🙂 It’s a CD of showtunes so we can sing them later. 😃

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**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/59 "2003-12-15T15:03:13Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by vanilla \*  
> \*\*Thats iampunha’s job! \*\*

Good point. But he’s not here yet.

Hey, don’t look at me like that! I’m not doing it! I’m the epitome of decency! Honest!

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**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\
**Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/virtual-christmas-party/218862/60 "2003-12-15T15:44:00Z")

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Is there a place to photo copy my butt? It’s not a Christmas party unless someone copies their butt and I think it’s my turn.

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