# Visit the SDMB Zoo! (animals wanted) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 2, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549 "2001-03-02T21:46:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/201 "2001-03-09T23:42:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Giraffe \* > **So, do _all_ zoos degenerate into chaos, with the animals alternately demanding food and licking each other, or is it just this one? šŸ™‚** I canā€™t speak for _all_ zoos, but I know that the one here in St Louis recently had a problem when the animals in the Herpetarium refused to show themselves to the public until they got some Taco Bell. And then some leopards and a puma strolled over to where the bears are kept and started picking on them until one of the Grizzlies started to cry. And the Primate House had to be closed due to some of the obscene things the chimps were doing to the baboonsā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/202 "2001-03-10T00:00:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > **I canā€™t speak for _all_ zoos, but I know that the one here in St Louis recently had a problem when the animals in the Herpetarium refused to show themselves to the public until they got some Taco Bell.** Wow ā€“ the Herpetarium is the biggest draw of the St. Louis zoo, too. (Actually, I think ā€œHerpetariumā€ would be a good nickname for St. Louis itself, but I have an unfair bias against the city.) ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/203 "2001-03-10T02:37:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Obsidian Flutterby \* > \*\*Hey! _sits up on her haunches and looks around_ I think we need a good side of beef here! _looks at Mnen_ How do you want it? Rare? \*\* rareā€¦ rawā€¦ running scaredā€¦ itā€™s all good. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/204 "2001-03-10T04:54:30Z")
Extra rare over here! We want it still mooing and running! (Generally I like to cook mine to well done but lately Iā€™ve been eating it medium. I think this place is influencing meā€¦) ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/205 "2001-03-10T05:35:33Z")
Oh, non Dragon mode? Rare and bleeding. grosses out everyone I know, but I love it, blood, tendons, and all. ---
**Author:** ![Soda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Soda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soda)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/206 "2001-03-10T08:02:30Z")
Hey, HEY, **HEY!** Form a line willā€™ya?! Carnivores to the left, herbivores to the right. And if you donā€™t stop running aroung my ankles, there will be no whipped cream for you, **Catmarie**. Keep your tongue out of the ice cream, **Giraffe!** That goes for you too, **Crunchy!** Now. What can I get you, sir? [sup]It would really help if you stopped eating the ice cream and served it instead, FairyChatMom. OK?[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Cumber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@Cumber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumber)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/207 "2001-03-10T14:13:18Z")
And if the lines are too long you could always shorten them both by moving a few of the carnivores to the herbivores line. _he says, safe in the knowledge that no-oneā€™s going to eat **him** _ šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/208 "2001-03-10T15:36:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > ::starts licking **Mermaid** on various parts of her body:: > > Just squeal or something if I hit across a fun spotā€¦ \*\* I refuse to make Miss Piggy noisesā€“you told me you were over her. But thatā€™s no reason for you to stop uhm experimentingā€¦ \>Insert image of clock hands revolving and indicating \* lots \* of time passing\< :both animals are observed emerging from Ms Mā€™s private chambers: Ranger: So do you guys want to tell us what you were doing in there for so long? Ms M: Letā€™s just say we were both a little unsure about something but now the problemā€™s been licked. šŸ˜‰ :wanders off with a strange satisfied smile on her face: šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/209 "2001-03-10T18:50:09Z")
::rears head up high above cage to survey the zoo:: ::notes that chaos is still ensuing nicely:: ::resume napping:: ---
**Author:** ![DeskMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f14d63/32.png) [@DeskMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeskMonkey)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/210 "2001-03-10T19:14:14Z")
I donā€™t need a cage or anything, just a cubicle and some depressing fluorescent lighting. And maybe some half-dead plants for decoration. Iā€™m a snackivore, so you can just feed me whateverā€™s in the vending machine near the ticket booth. Iā€™ll just be over here in my habitat playing computer solitaire. If anyone pokes me with a stick, Iā€™m going to my supervisor (I guess that would be Arden Ranger). ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/211 "2001-03-10T19:26:04Z")
If anybody pokes you with a stick, you have my permission to poke them right back with that electrified stick in the corner of my office! Sayā€¦ are you any good at book keeping? What with the crows always complaining about something, I hardly have the time. ---
**Author:** ![DeskMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f14d63/32.png) [@DeskMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeskMonkey)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/212 "2001-03-10T19:49:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\* > Sayā€¦ are you any good at book keeping? What with the crows always complaining about something, I hardly have the time. \*\* Sure, Iā€™ll take a crack at it . . . as long as it doesnā€™t interfere with my FCMB time. (Thatā€™s the Fling Crap Message Board. Lots of other monkeys post all kinds of hilarious stuff there. I need to read it periodically throughout the day, I canā€™t help myself). So you want me to fling some crap at those whiny crows? ---
**Author:** ![Iguana\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@Iguana\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iguana_Boy)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/213 "2001-03-10T20:38:19Z")
I guess I half qualify for the zooā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/214 "2001-03-10T20:39:54Z")
Well, not at the moment. But the next time a certain critter sneaks out and then whines cause he misses feeding timeā€¦ šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/215 "2001-03-10T20:43:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Soda \* > \*\*[sup]It would really help if you stopped eating the ice cream and served it instead, FairyChatMom. OK?[/sup] \*\* You just have no idea the sacrifice Iā€™m making - quality control, you know. We donā€™t want to be serving inferior ice cream. But if you insist, Iā€™ll start building cones. OK, who wants chocolate, who wants vanilla, who wants licorice ripple??? ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/216 "2001-03-10T21:23:54Z")
Attendance at the petting zoo seems to be way down. Anybody have any ideas as to why? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/217 "2001-03-10T22:03:36Z")
:: notes **DDG** ā€™s observation :: :: looks suspiciously up in the tree at **Tyger** :: ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/218 "2001-03-10T22:10:54Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Soda \* > \*\* Keep your tongue out of the ice cream, **Giraffe!** That goes for you too, **Crunchy!** _\* Canā€™d I pweade hab some ide cweam? My dongue id swollend fwom wicking **Mermaid** all day. ---
**Author:** ![Soda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Soda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soda)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/219 "2001-03-11T00:25:50Z")
Hrrmmphā€¦ Licking Mermaid. I have never heard such nonsense. If you wanted something to lick, why didnā€™t you come to the Zoo Soda Fountain? Iā€™ve got plenty of stuff for you to lick, Froggy. Now. Whatā€™s your favorite flavor? Rocky Toad? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/220 "2001-03-11T00:29:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Soda \* > \*\*Iā€™ve got plenty of stuff for you to lick, Froggy. \*\* heheheā€¦ Say, whatā€™s that I see in the gutter? Oh, yeah! Itā€™s my mind again! šŸ˜‰ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549.md?page=12)