# Visit the SDMB Zoo! (animals wanted) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 2, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549 "2001-03-02T21:46:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Soda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Soda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soda)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/221 "2001-03-11T00:38:37Z")
Froggy, my dear, why don’t you just leave your mind in the gutter. I’ll join you in a second. Should I bring some hot chocolate fudge too? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/222 "2001-03-11T00:45:28Z")
Bring whatever you like, **Soda**. Just give me a minute to do my jaw and tongue stretches. We wouldn’t want anything cramping up too early in the procedings… ---
**Author:** ![Soda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Soda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soda)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/223 "2001-03-11T00:59:26Z")
::clonk!:: Pardon me, I just fell off my chair. Right into the gutter! 😃 Ready, Crunch? [sup][sub]Oh, boy, I have to go to bed. It’s two in the morning and I don’t feel normal. What? _Crunchy is poisonous?_ No wonder I’m feeling a little giddy… I swear, he’s trying to kill me, one way or the other.[/sup][/sub] 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/224 "2001-03-11T01:03:53Z")
Oh, sure, get tired and go to bed _now_. Nice timing **Soda**. So what am I supposed to do for the next 5 hours I’m at work? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Soda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Soda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soda)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/225 "2001-03-11T01:09:58Z")
Work, maybe? 😃 D&R ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/226 "2001-03-11T01:20:43Z")
**Soda** , due to the nastiness and uncalled for distasteful suggestion in your previous post, I have no choice but to be mean to you now. Now just hang on while I think of something mean to do… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/227 "2001-03-11T02:34:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > Can’d I pweade hab some ide cweam? My dongue id swollend fwom wicking **Mermaid** all day. \*\* Doncha mean all night and all day? Now come on Frog, it wasn’t _that_ bad was it? 😉 I always say, any job worth doing is worth doing right—no matter how long it takes. ---
**Author:** ![hesredbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/9fc348/32.png) [@hesredbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hesredbird)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/228 "2001-03-11T11:07:51Z")
I haven’t seen any other redbirds in this zoo. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/229 "2001-03-11T18:30:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > > Can’d I pweade hab some ide cweam? My dongue id swollend fwom wicking **Mermaid** all day. \*\* > > Doncha mean all night and all day? Now come on Frog, it wasn’t _that_ bad was it? 😉 > > I always say, any job worth doing is worth doing right—no matter how long it takes. \*\* Excuse me–Where were my manners? Offers a nice frozen strawberry lemonade to the Frog. Cool, soothing and cleanses the palate-----better now? ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/230 "2001-03-11T19:29:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*Well, not at the moment. But the next time a certain critter sneaks out and then whines cause he misses feeding time… > 😃 \*\* Hey, I needed to Sneak Out, and Get Food because I kept ASKING POLITELY, and no one fed me ANYWAYS. Christ, I was wallowing in my own crap! No one cleaned my cage! And where were YOU during all of this? Oh, that’s right, catering to the mermaid. Not that I’m jealous or anything… Okay, I am, but I’ve got nothing against mermaid. But FEED me every once in a while. When I don’t get fed, I break out. [sub]and if anyone even CONSIDERS throwing crap at me…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/231 "2001-03-11T19:40:45Z")
Us mythological creatures have to stick together you know. I tell you we get no respect at all. All a certain striped large feline has to do is eat a few kids and a doorman and everyone’s just shaking in their boots. Has even 1 person pulled him aside and said “you know, maybe eating employees and patron isn’t the best thing for business?” No, not even 1. As far as I’m concerned, you can do any little thing your heart desires ol’ dragon buddy old pal. Bedsides who else is going to satify my sushi habit? :waving a sign that says don’t f\*ck with the dragon: ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/232 "2001-03-11T19:45:37Z")
Hey, now. There’s a lot of responsiblity running this place! Food to order, paperwork to do, live cows for the dragons, keeping the big cats from eating the guests, hiring gatekeepers because they keep disappearing mysteriously. :: looks suspiciously at **Tyger** up in the tree :: There’s two assistants running around cleaning out cages when they’re not getting waylaid at the petting zoo. :: looks meaningfully towards petting zoo :: And don’t get me started on the tongue fest going on with **Crunchy Frog, Girafee, and Mermaid**. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep those damn kids out of the Petting Zoo after 5:00?? _humph_ You think YOU have troubles. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/233 "2001-03-11T19:49:30Z")
Look at that. You have me so upset I can’t even spell. **Giraffe** Sheesh ---
**Author:** ![brachyrhynchos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brachyrhynchos/32/376_2.png) [@brachyrhynchos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brachyrhynchos)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/234 "2001-03-11T20:10:10Z")
Landing next to _Corvus, brachyrhynchos_ offers him some heisted Moo Goo Gai Pan and caches the rest. A brilliant flash catches her eye and she spies the Colibri Hummingbird. Always in the mood to play, she darts off to give chase to the shiny bird when an errant Circus Peanut diverts her attention. She pounces, stabbing and devouring, and flies off to another cache site. ---
**Author:** ![Soda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Soda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soda)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/235 "2001-03-11T21:09:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\*Soda, due to the nastiness and uncalled for distasteful suggestion in your previous post, I have no choice but to be mean to you now. Now just hang on while I think of something mean to do… \*\* So, what’s it gonna be Froggy? Or did you actually get some work done instead of rolling around in the gutter, covered in chocolat sauce, and forgot all about being mean? _::fleeing for her life, Soda stumbles over Catmarie (who’s still doing her best to cajole herself into some catnip ice cream) and falls flat on her face in a large tub of cookies ‘n’ cream::_ [sup]Help! I can’t get up![/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/236 "2001-03-11T21:24:16Z")
A crow catch a hummingbird! That’ll be the day! 😛 A Circus Peanut, huh? You guys will eat _anything_. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/237 "2001-03-11T21:41:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\* > And don’t get me started on the tongue fest going on with **Crunchy Frog, Girafee, and Mermaid**. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep those damn kids out of the Petting Zoo after 5:00?? > > _humph_ > > You think YOU have troubles. \*\* Believe me Ranger, upsetting you was the last thing I wanted to do and it was certainly not my intention to do so. Why the Frog and myself were merely conducting a scientific experiment. I’m not sure \* what\* was going on between the bear and the giraffe. :Fervently hoping to draw the attention away from herself: I think it’s all the Tyger’s fault. Yes talk to him. :starts toward the mermaid pen desperately hoping that there is not a “banned” sign under her name. I’ll be good as gold in the future. I promise. :_un_crosses fingers and snickers quietly under her breath: She wants us to be good, but I bet she can’t make us. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/238 "2001-03-11T21:52:22Z")
Ha! That would be the height of delusional in a Zoo full of mythological creatures and critters with 18" tongues! Behave… Good one, **Mermaid**. Now, go eat your Sushi. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/239 "2001-03-11T22:20:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Soda \* > **So, what’s it gonna be Froggy? Or did you actually get some work done instead of rolling around in the gutter, covered in chocolat sauce, and forgot all about being mean?** I couldn’t think of anything mean to do, and then, being the easily-distracted amphibian that I am, I forgot about trying to think of something. I’m over it now and ready to get licking again. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/240 "2001-03-11T22:48:51Z")
[Homer]Mmmmmm Sushi [/Homer} Pssst Frog, How was the frozen strawberry lemonade? I made it myself. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549.md?page=13)