# Visit the SDMB Zoo! (animals wanted) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 2, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549 "2001-03-02T21:46:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommy_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/21 "2001-03-03T00:01:05Z")
::Looks up from licking himself:: Hey, you need a cat? If you need me, I’ll just be over there um, ah… cleaning my fur. Yeah, cleaning my fur. What could be more innocent than a cat giving himself a bath? ::Coughing and hacking:: What are you staring at? ::Resumes licking himself:: ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/22 "2001-03-03T00:01:08Z")
Well, I’ve been known as moontiger in the past, so I could be a white tiger. But man, the petting zoo… I could dig being petted all day long! ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Pinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dr.Pinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Pinky)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/23 "2001-03-03T00:02:46Z")
Phoenocopterus ruber ruber, reporting in. I’ll just go stand on one leg over here… ---
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/24 "2001-03-03T00:19:18Z")
:::Gallops up excitedly:::::: I am good at eating chocolate biscuits, using the internet, and being run over. ---
**Author:** ![monkeylucifer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@monkeylucifer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monkeylucifer)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/25 "2001-03-03T00:19:37Z")
I guess I’ll take up residence in the devilish primate section. Me and my g/f went to the Audubon zoo a few weekends ago, and the primate section is by far my favorite…but I also like to see the otters and the sea lions. That white tiger is pretty damn awesome, too…oh and the white alligator. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/26 "2001-03-03T00:24:14Z")
::perks up ‘ear’ tufts:: Audubon? ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/27 "2001-03-03T00:46:05Z")
Well, since the Ranger already has a dog, I guess I’ll just be the fast guard dog by night, and the obscene mutt that humps the legs of parents before stealing their kid’s hot dogs by day. ---
**Author:** ![Maragold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Maragold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maragold)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/28 "2001-03-03T00:47:15Z")
Landscaping here. And I repel insects! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/29 "2001-03-03T00:53:35Z")
Well, I s’pose I’ll just be supper for some herbivore. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/30 "2001-03-03T01:14:05Z")
::bounces in:: Do you need a tigger 'round these parts? Our heads are made out of rubber and our bottoms are made out of springs, after all. 😃 ::bounces off:: ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/31 "2001-03-03T01:19:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by todaystomsawyer \* > \*\*Hey, are you alive? > > _poking sleeping monkey with stick_ > _poke_ > > You are awake! Hey, that’s my stick…what are you-OW!! > > _monkey proceeds to pummel me with said stick_ > > Ranger! \*\* Serves ya right! Better the monkey than I sic my killer attack Scotti on you! Tsk… I see I’ll be needing to hire an assistant or two. Who can recommend someone who’s good at shoveling the sh\*t? ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/32 "2001-03-03T01:19:41Z")
I’m a mythical Japanese animal… “Step right up and see the Totoro! Watch him spin on his top, and scare the hell out of little children with his amazingly wide grin! Watch out! His flatulence is astounding, just like his ability to call the nekobus!” ---
**Author:** ![PlanMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2bfe46/32.png) [@PlanMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlanMan)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/33 "2001-03-03T01:19:54Z")
Need someone to look to the future of this place? If not, I’ll just wander around and poke the animals with sticks. The animals without sticks, I won’t poke. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/34 "2001-03-03T01:23:03Z")
Hmmm now we have enough dogs here that we may have to worry about a dog fight…hmmm where did that tail come from…gotta catch it…gotta catch it…caught it…OWWWWWW!!! hmmm where did that tail come from… ---
**Author:** ![Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fairy_Princess_Kitty)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/35 "2001-03-03T02:04:26Z")
Can I be the kitty in the petting zoo pretty please? Though if I really am a Fairy Princess Kitty can I have my wings and my angelic little tiara? Pretty please? Anyone want to pet the kitty cat? Kitty ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/36 "2001-03-03T02:13:49Z")
\ Grrrrrrrrrrrr… Yo, pussy!.. Yeah YOU, with the wings… where’d ya get the diamond hat thing? It’s yours? Yeah, like a winged cat would be wearing that around here… I think you better come with me to Security… ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/37 "2001-03-03T02:27:33Z")
The porpentine doth wander in and maketh each several quill to stand on end. ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/38 "2001-03-03T02:47:06Z")
::Flys in, lands on branch:: Every zoo needs a crow! Of course you won’t find me confined to any cages, and watch out for your popcorn and any other foodstuffs you’re not paying attention to… Oooh… Unattended hotdog. Gotta go… ---
**Author:** ![Lost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/22d042/32.png) [@Lost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lost)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/39 "2001-03-03T03:03:53Z")
Well, there’s always _someone_ lost at the Zoo. I’ll just wander aimlessly… Can I pet the giraffe? Nice Zoo 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/40 "2001-03-03T03:09:01Z")
Uh… hey, is there a pen big enough for a Dragon…? I may be fierce looking, but I’m not dangerous, and I could really dig being in the petting zoo! Pet me!@ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549.md?page=3)