# Visit the SDMB Zoo! (animals wanted) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 2, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549 "2001-03-02T21:46:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/81 "2001-03-03T23:40:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by screech-owl \* > \*\ ***Colibri** - you forgot “Dickcissel” > \*\* Not to mention the Nutcracker, the Kaka, the Shag, the Pipipi, and, for Spanish speakers, the Tapaculo. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/82 "2001-03-03T23:40:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Soda \* > \*\*… you can eat all the ice cream you want. I’m a very good boss. Here’s your apron and a nametag. > > Soda > Manager, Zoo Soda Fountain \*\* All I can eat??? \ Um, the apron and nametag are very nice… where to we keep the spoons, boss?? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tygre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@tygre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tygre)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/83 "2001-03-03T23:49:21Z")
Sign me up! I’ll look vaguely menacing, but be far enough back from the evil kids that they can’t peg me with pebbles. –tygre ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/84 "2001-03-04T00:40:38Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > [B}Tsk… I see I’ll be needing to hire an assistant or two. Who can recommend someone who’s good at shoveling the sh_t? \*\* _siiiigh_ I guess that’s me. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/85 "2001-03-04T01:15:47Z")
Woo-Hoo!! TWO assistants! ---
**Author:** ![PlanMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2bfe46/32.png) [@PlanMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlanMan)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/86 "2001-03-04T02:52:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > \*\*We also still need a docent for the petting zoo. The docent is the person who stands there in a crisp uniform that says “SDMS Zoo” on the pocket, and explains facts about the animals to the children, and never never has to make any of the evil children who are feeding candy wrappers to the dairy cow or poking the sheep with a stick stop being evil because she’s only there to do animal demonstrations not be a zoo cop thank you very much it’s their parents job to keep the wretched little monsters under control their parents get it I volunteered for this job even though the pay is literally nonexistent and the hours really suck because I love animals and I love children I really do but sometimes they just drive me up the WALL and I wish it was just me and the animals. > > you know? > > \*\* Well, since planning the future of this place won’t take all my time, I guess I could put in some hours at the Petting Zoo. I think that “adventurous” children, such as you described DDG, need to learn, in a most personal way, about carnivorous animals. A good time for this extra special lesson would be about 15 minutes before scheduled feeding time. Now, where was that cat that wanted to have her tummy rubbed? ---
**Author:** ![sk8rixtx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@sk8rixtx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sk8rixtx)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/87 "2001-03-04T03:14:07Z")
Hi, I’m the resident blue, magical, gecko. You may remember me from such zoos such as The SDMB zoo: Part 1, and that other one, that I can’t think of the name of. Anyway… p.s. The Super Happy Fun Bonus Dragon Club, is still open to new members. REPTILIA ONLY!!! ---
**Author:** ![Kestral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kestral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kestral)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/88 "2001-03-04T03:25:35Z")
Room for any more birds of prey in this place? I may be just a little one, but at least I’m colorful. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/89 "2001-03-04T05:01:07Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > Make a right at the sleeping dragon and…_\* I am _not_ sleeping. I’m looking vaguely dangerous, whilst waiting to be petted. I have real soft, warm hide! It’s all nice! Pet me! Incidentally, I want in on that Dragon club. I think I fit the bill. ---
**Author:** ![Alonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Alonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alonist)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/90 "2001-03-04T13:49:13Z")
Pretty sure I’m not a dragon. Sure is nicer here than hanging out under a bridge in Seattle! Gonna roll over on my back and rub my tummy with lime juice. Wow, my nose just unclogged- think I smell a **tiggeril** around here someplace. Those are good for breakfast. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/91 "2001-03-04T17:05:26Z")
Hey now No munching on the neighbors. ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/92 "2001-03-04T21:34:56Z")
Fresh from the Hill Country of Texas, where she doesn’t blend in with anything there \, ambles in Ms Purplebear. Attempting to get the rest of her sweet, vaguely lilac smelling fur to lay down nicely, she stops by the dragon’s lair to pet the dragon, and then continues on through this wonderful, amazing zoo, petting everyone she can reach and touch. What’s that? Why is some of my fur standing on end? Well, _Blush_ that’s not a story to be told with small children around. Perhaps later, if you really do want to know. Hi, Arden! I’ll be available for anyone who needs/wants petting, just send them in my direction, ok? Provided they don’t mind a hug or two along with the petting. 😉 Ummm, Giraffe, dear, as soon as I’m done petting this marvelous dragon, would you please care to show me what exactly you mean to imply in your sig? I’m afraid, being the skeptical sort, I require proof of length and agility. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/93 "2001-03-04T21:59:39Z")
Well, after I escaped, no one would feed me! So I’m Back! I’M SO HUNGRY! FEEEEEED MEEEE… seymour… feed me all night long… See what happens with lack of food? You go crazy! Crazy like a fox! AH A HA HA HA HA HA! ```auto Did you see that, I'm so crazy I even used a *tilde!* Take that Logic! *Poster On Zoo Bulletin Board:* Now That Our Beloved Totoro Has Returned, We Need Someone To Put It Out Of It's Misery. Inquire Within. Sh*t Cleaner Job Already Filled. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/94 "2001-03-04T22:58:57Z")
😃 I got petted 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/95 "2001-03-04T23:30:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by purplebear \* > \*\*Ummm, Giraffe, dear, as soon as I’m done petting this marvelous dragon, would you please care to show me what exactly you mean to imply in your sig? I’m afraid, being the skeptical sort, I require proof of length and agility. 😃 \*\* ::dips tongue into raspberry sauce:: ::writes Barry White lyrics on the back of own head, in 4-point Times New Roman:: ::feigns coyness:: ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/96 "2001-03-04T23:44:32Z")
I think I want to be the lady who spends every weekend at the zoo for reasons that are known only to myself. I’m just going to sit here on this bench and eat popsicles and hot dogs, and gaze at the unicorn. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/97 "2001-03-05T03:18:14Z")
Another mythical creature checking in. Half fish–All woman. I’ll take a room in Mythic-land —Right next to the Unicorn if you please. I’ll just sit here on this rock, combing my hair and making bras out of sea shells. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/98 "2001-03-05T03:35:33Z")
Fluffy little chicken with a mean streak here. Give me a nice warm place to roost in the sun, some feed, a rooster to ogle, and I’m happy. But walk past me with a package of those blasphemous marshmallow peeps and I’ll peck yer eyes out. ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/99 "2001-03-05T03:37:30Z")
I think I’ll be the vampire bat. Every zoo needs a vampire bat. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2001, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549/100 "2001-03-05T04:15:27Z")
_the rare obsidian flutterby flutters into the zoo looking for a spot to rest_ I’m willing to hang around as long as no one locks me up. I eat quite simply what hummingbirds eat… nectar is nice. I’m not just a flutterby though… I’m also the Dragon Goddess (ask Cumber!) so I can be the small flutterby (about the size of a monarch butterfly) or a dragon in crimson and gold [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/visit-the-sdmb-zoo-animals-wanted/56549.md?page=6)