# Vodka tampons and butt-chugging **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 12, 2011, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653 "2011-11-12T00:07:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/21 "2011-11-12T13:52:40Z")
Snookie’s whoohaww has never been so clean. And I, for one, approve of this Situation. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/22 "2011-11-12T14:10:23Z")
It’s all fun and games until some frat boy starts sharting Jagermeister. ---
**Author:** ![Elret](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Elret](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elret)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/23 "2011-11-12T14:14:38Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > No experience here (duh!), but it seems like it would work better if you inserted the tampon first, then applied the alcohol as sort of a vodka douche, allowing the tampon to soak up the booze. Not that I have done this, but if you used a tampon with a plastic applicator, it could be dipped into the booze while still in the applicator and soak some up without losing its shape, and then simply be inserted as per usual? ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/24 "2011-11-12T14:21:23Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > No experience here (duh!), but it seems like it would work better if you inserted the tampon first, then applied the alcohol as sort of a vodka douche, allowing the tampon to soak up the booze. It would be pretty hard to get dry tampon far enough up to get a douche nozzle in to soak from below, and pretty damn hard to get a douche nozzle up past the tampon to soak from above. Besides, if you’re going to do a vodka douche, then why bother with the tampon? Not that the practical issues are anywhere the top of the list of reasons this is a bad idea, mind you. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/25 "2011-11-12T14:23:31Z")
> [@Elret](#): > > Not that I have done this, but if you used a tampon with a plastic applicator, it could be dipped into the booze while still in the applicator and soak some up without losing its shape, and then simply be inserted as per usual? A fresh tampon in the applicator is highly compressed, and could not expand to hold very much vodka. The total volume of the applicator can’t be much more than a couple of table spoons, not nearly enough to cause any kind of booze buzz. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/26 "2011-11-12T14:26:45Z")
This is getting to a rule 34 level. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/27 "2011-11-12T14:32:43Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Besides, if you’re going to do a vodka douche, then why bother with the tampon? Because the tampon would hold a lot more vodka for eventual absorbtion than a naked vagina, which would simply drain out when standing. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/28 "2011-11-12T15:13:57Z")
Perhaps you should lie down on your back with your feet in the air, fill 'er up using a douche nozzle, and THEN insert the tampon? ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/29 "2011-11-12T16:56:58Z")
This natually leads us to another question for the sake of science, why stop at the vagina?! If it were at all practical, assuming you could pry past the cervix, how much booze could the average uterus hold? (assuming there are no fetuses in there.) And does this give new meaning to the term Bloody Mary? ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/30 "2011-11-12T17:02:35Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > This is getting to a rule 34 level. And yet, when an example of Rule 34 presents itself, it’s always just as shocking, every time. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/31 "2011-11-12T18:40:58Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > This natually leads us to another question for the sake of science, why stop at the vagina?! If it were at all practical, assuming you could pry past the cervix, how much booze could the average uterus hold? (assuming there are no fetuses in there.) > > And does this give new meaning to the term Bloody Mary? My understanding is that the unoccupied uterus is about the size of your fist. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/32 "2011-11-12T19:45:35Z")
I love how this deteriorated from “This obviously stupid thing cannot be true, right?” To “But seriously - how can I get as much liquor in my vagina as possible?” ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2011, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/33 "2011-11-13T04:38:24Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > My understanding is that the unoccupied uterus is about the size of your fist. But can expand to baby-size! You should be able to pump at least a good fifth of tequila in there, perhaps even a liter. Go wild, ladies! ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2011, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/34 "2011-11-13T09:54:52Z")
This thread is not complete without a mention of [Mayan enema practices](http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1134/is_6_110/ai_76550319/). In other words, butt-chugging isn’t really new. ---
**Author:** ![BTEzra04](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9f8e36/32.png) [@BTEzra04](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BTEzra04)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2011, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/35 "2011-11-13T14:03:35Z")
[http://textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-33275.html](http://textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-33275.html) People…can be very stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2011, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/36 "2011-11-13T17:43:02Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > I love how this deteriorated from “This obviously stupid thing cannot be true, right?” To “But seriously - how can I get as much liquor in my vagina as possible?” There really is no substitute for the SDMB. And you can put that in your . . . umm, never mind. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/37 "2011-11-14T08:16:17Z")
I would think the alcohol would make it burn like crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/38 "2011-11-14T17:45:49Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > ETA: It all sounds like Reefer Madness to me (which is to say: overblown hyperbole generated by someone with an agenda to scare parents). Seconded, or fifthed, or whatever. There are very few things that are so stupid that not even one person has tried them, but the reason these stories are written and distributed nationally is that this is supposed to be _a trend_, not a thing one or two morons tried at some point. There’s a new one of these every couple of years. I remember a furor about “lipstick parties” in the last decade. Coincidentally I think there was a (fiction) book coming out on the subject at the time. :rolleyes: People will do some very stupid shit to get as drunk as they can, but come on. I’m not sure which part is harder to believe - girls soaking tampons in vodka or frat boys (stereotypically homophobic) sticking tubes up their butts. The fact that one cop or doctor says it’s real doesn’t mean much to me either- I hear tell that law enforcement swore hippies were eating babies in the '60s. ---
**Author:** ![thatguyjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6de8d8/32.png) [@thatguyjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thatguyjeff)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/39 "2011-11-14T17:53:56Z")
I believe the main idea behind this is so you can get your drunk on without anyone smelling it on you. This is, of course, not possible because of how the body metabolizes alcohol. Once alcohol is in the blood stream, the blood travels to the lungs and you effectively exhale alcohol vapor. It doesn’t matter how the alcohol got into your blood. You could inject alcohol directly into a vein and still fail a brethalyzer - no different than had you swallowed it. The secondary idea would be that you could get your drunk on with a much smaller amount and faster than ingesting it. Out bodies do a pretty good job of filtering out small levels of toxins we swallow. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653/40 "2011-11-14T21:48:16Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Is this really for real? Somehow, I just can’t picture great masses of teens inserting things into their orifices… although god knows we did some crazy things to get high when I was a kid. I don’t know, but there was a lunch seminar at work a couple weeks ago that stated it is occurring. This was given by people from the school including a police officer. How real is it? Just how common is it? Don’t know. > [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > I’m amused by your implication that being on a first name basis with a teenage girl is in some way sufficient to know whether she’d consider soaking a tampon in alcohol and inserting it in her vagina. Maybe being on a first name basis was meant to indicate knows well enough to ask about the practice? Oh, I see he clarified just assessing their brain power. > [@Ashes\_Ashes](#): > > The theory was you wouldn’t be able to smell it on her breath if she used a tampon (I’d hope!). This appears to be one presumption, but as has been stated, it is false. Much of the alcohol breath comes not from the ingestion through the mouth, but from the exhalation of alcohol as it is metabolized through the lungs. That’s why a breathalyzer works, and why if you try to mask it they wait 15 minutes. Something in your mouth will be gone, but something in the bloodstream is still being released via the lungs. > [@Zsofia](#): > > Perhaps you should lie down on your back with your feet in the air, fill 'er up using a douche nozzle, and THEN insert the tampon? That was my suggestion! > [@cmyk](#): > > But can expand to baby-size! But it takes months of metabolic changes to do that expansion, so it’s not a balloon that can be blown up on the spot. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/vodka-tampons-and-butt-chugging/602653.md?page=3)