# Voice Mail Karaoke (a.k.a. Abject Humiliation) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 11, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400 "2004-08-11T19:15:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/1 "2004-08-11T19:15:17Z")
So New Jersey now requires a hand-free device if you want to use a cell phone while driving. Ok, fine, I already had one anyway. It’s a very nice unit – the speakerphone and mic setup are very nonobtrusive, and the thing sounds great from both ends of the conversation. Hooked to it is my Motorola flip-style phone. When you’re done with your call, you flip the phone closed and it hangs up. Usually. I’m on my way to work this morning, and I hit a construction zone. It looks like my hour commute is now going to be an hour and fifteen minutes. Ok, no big deal, I turn the radio down and call boss to let him know. He’s not at his desk, so I leave him a quick voice mail letting him know I’ll be a bit late. I close the phone and crank the radio back up. Now let me explain my vocal talents: They don’t exist. Yeah, there are maybe three or four songs out there that I can fake it enough to sound semi-decent, but as a rule my singing is one long stream of very bad falsetto. But hey, I’m all alone in my car, and I like to sing along. Loudly. So there I am, now past the construction and tooling along the highway, singing along at the top of my lungs. \*"…Yeah somebody told me, that you had a boyfriend, that looked like a girlfriend, that I had in February of last year…" “…YEAH! Cold hard bitch, just a kiss on the lips, and I was on my knees, I’m waiting, give me…” "…I believe in a thing called loooooooooove!..\* “You have used 9 minutes and 45 seconds of voice mail. You have 15 seconds remaining.” _“… OOOOoooooOOOOOOOOOooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, GUITAR!..”_ Huh? What? What the hell was that voice? Was that coming from the speakerphone?? “You have used 10 minutes of voice mail. Now disconnecting. Thank you.” _click_ :eek: Yes, it seems that I had always figured that when I’m using the hands-free device, closing the phone would hang it up. But no, it was the _other_ person hanging up that actually did it. So when I’m leaving a message and I close the phone, **the line stays open**. I walk into my office a bit later, and there’s my entire department gathered around my manager’s desk. He’s got the speakerphone cranked, and it’s just Dance Party Fricking U.S.A. there. :o Someone spots me walking in, and the applause starts. Lighters are flicked. I casually remind them that office shooting sprees have probably been prompted by less, but all in all, I take it in stride. Better believe I made sure my boss deleted that voice mail, though. Somebody _please_ tell me they’ve been burned by an un-hung-up phone before. I’d hate to think I was the only one. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/2 "2004-08-11T21:19:11Z")
Oh my God. That was the best story I’ve read on here for a looong time. Good on ya! _ **GUITAR!** _ ---
**Author:** ![robgruver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/3 "2004-08-11T21:22:34Z")
That’s a great story. Classic. 🙂 \ ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/4 "2004-08-11T21:27:40Z")
There’s only one thing to say … Free Bird! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/5 "2004-08-11T21:28:45Z")
Rent _Disclosure._ ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/6 "2004-08-11T21:32:37Z")
That was just too funny. The voicemail system allowed ten whole minutes of audio? Boy, that’s cruel. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/7 "2004-08-11T22:10:51Z")
Ha! That’s great. I’ve had my phone accidentally call someone while it was in my purse - his number was on speed-dial and the right keys got hit. He then called me back and asked what that was all about, and I told him. Which resulted in the unfortunately awkward (VERY much so) conversation of…“So, uh, I’m on speed dial on your cell?” He wasn’t a particularly ‘special’ friend, but I desperately wanted that to change… ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/8 "2004-08-11T22:17:07Z")
Could you sing “Misty” for all the girls working late at the Circle K on Route 12? Thanks. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Elle\_Woods](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bb73d2/32.png) [@Elle\_Woods](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elle_Woods)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/9 "2004-08-11T22:21:15Z")
By any chance, would you have been listening to WJSE 102.7? I’m visiting family in NJ right now, and I could have sworn I heard all of those songs on that station earlier this morning. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/10 "2004-08-11T22:29:27Z")
😃 Well, I once called my then-girlfriend-now-wife for about 9 minutes, from my trouser pocket. I was in Holland, she was in the US. And my company pays the phone bill. My boss wasn’t too pleased the next month, when the bill came in. :eek: Don’t think I sang, though. ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/11 "2004-08-11T22:29:46Z")
My old cell phone was in the habit of dialing itself while in my fanny pack… so many times I would see I had a message and it would be a three minute recording of my stereo! so um… BRAVO ENCORE! ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/12 "2004-08-11T22:47:34Z")
Hi-larious. 🆒 Help me out, though–what are the songs in the OP? ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/13 "2004-08-11T23:02:19Z")
You are my new hero. Behind Ken Jennings. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/14 "2004-08-11T23:43:24Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > Hi-larious. 🆒 Help me out, though–what are the songs in the OP? The first one is _Somebody Told Me_ by The Killers. The second one is _Cold Hard Bitch_ by Jet. The third one is _I Believe in a Thing Called Love_ by The Darkness. What do I win? ---
**Author:** ![zephyrine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/35a633/32.png) [@zephyrine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zephyrine)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2004, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/15 "2004-08-11T23:48:00Z")
A friend of mine accidentally called her mother-in-law from the beach. She doesn’t like her mother-in-law. She’s not shy about telling other people that she doesn’t like her mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law now knows this. ---
**Author:** ![haardvark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@haardvark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/haardvark)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/16 "2004-08-12T02:04:56Z")
I told the story of _Cinderella_ into my dad’s dictaphone [tm] when I was 5 or so, and he played it for everyone at work, and did so again about 12 years later when I was working for him for the summer… Not quite the same thing, but still :o ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/17 "2004-08-12T02:08:15Z")
Well thanks for the kind words, all. I’m glad you got a smile out of my deep, deep shame. 😉 > [@Elle Woods](#): > > By any chance, would you have been listening to WJSE 102.7? No, that’s out of Somers Point, which is well out of my reception range. I rarely listen to one radio station for more than two or three songs. I think this was a combo of 92.3 K-Rock, FM-106.3, and 95.9-The Rat. And you’ve got me curious, **Ethilrist**. I’d doubt I’ll be seeing _Disclosure_ anytime soon, so would you mind spoiling the scene you’re talking about? And now, to take us out of this post, we’ve got more of “ **Hal** ’s Way The Hell Off-Key Karaoke Party”! _ **Gabba gabba! We accept you! We accept you! One of us! Gabba gabba! We accept you! We acce…** _ ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/18 "2004-08-12T11:42:40Z")
…working for a big organization can prove to have its disadvantages… Klaus (name possibly changed to protect the not-so-innocent )was talking with one of the Banquet Sales Co-ordinators on the Speaker Phone (with the handset off the set-rest, important for later) , trying to be polite, but obviously slightly annoyed… …towards the end of the conversation, he said his good-byes, slammed down the phone, and then yelled at the phone “B\*TCH!!!” To his horror, he heard in the background a slightly muffled “Hmmph”, then the click on the line as the Co-ordinator hung up on her end… Klaus just kept staring at the phone, utterly mortified, every couple of minutes he would say “should I call her back?” “Should I apologize?” In the meantime, me and the head bartender were cracking up laughing… not the best response, I know, but hey, it was funny… ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/19 "2004-08-12T12:27:03Z")
My brother used to have me on speed dial (or something), and every once in a while I would get a call from his phone because a button had accidentally been pressed. So one day, I check my cell to see that I have a message, so I start playing it and can kind of hear someone talking, so I assume that it is just a bad recording and start listening really closely. Suddenly a moment of silence. Pshshshshshshshshshhhhh Goes the sound of a healthy stream of liquid. Why yes, this is probably not a purposeful recording. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2004, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400/20 "2004-08-12T13:05:56Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Rent _Disclosure._ Michael Douglas fails to shut off his cell phone after calling to leave a message on somebody’s answering machine, then he and Demi Moore get it on… with lots of talking… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/voice-mail-karaoke-a-k-a-abject-humiliation/259400.md?page=2)